Bloke behaviour

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We all know that males do things that the female species just doesn't understand (and obviously visa versa) I've started the ball rolling, feel free to add others.

- Flicking over the TV quickly to find anything football related while the other half has stepped outta the room, to be greeted by the noise of 'oi what you doing turn Eastenders back on' when she returns.

- Leaving the toilet seat up... Why should it be left down for ladies to use rather than up for a man?

- Long gaming sessions (like Champ manager, Pro Evo, etc).

- Peeing anywhere, The world is our urinal.

- It's mandatory to have a good go at growing a poor excuse for a beard every now and again!

- Always offering to do things which 'supposedly' show our strength - such as opening jars.

- Not showing any pain whatsoever, despite how badly we are hurt. But even if you do, make sure to shout in a manly voice... and swear a lot.

- When hugging another bloke, you must slap each others backs as hard as you possibly can to maintain your air of heterosexuality.

 

Well, I'm the other half, but from the female point of view my two favorites are:

- "I can fix it, let me have a go" which usually results in much more expensive repairs;

- what I call the "beached whale" effect - yes, my favorite men are very stoic about pain from injuries, but just let them get sick with the flu and they're down on the couch like a beached whale.

OK, admittedly, I'm coming at it from the other side. And it's so true about the beard - I'm not sure I actually know any men who haven't tried a beard at least once.

 

I put this in 'Jokey Posties" a while ago:

 

It can be very silly when females complain about that. Actually, I decided that since either way will benefit one sex over the other, I put everything down so that everyone has to raise at least part of the seat.

Very much so. Possibly even with a hearty guffaw for added effect. This can be risky though- in all the excitement, it is possible for your manly laugh to come out a bit higher than intended. In this situation there is nothing to do but playfully punch the other's arm. Remember, manly strength!

@T2Bruno:
That's a good one!

 

From Barmy's list, I only really suffer from a few... Long gaming sessions, which have to go now, considering the nature of my new job. Showing off strength, but I'm getting over it. Not showing pain... maybe, but I don't swear (unlearnt on purpose, I heartily recommend this to everyone ). I think there are some more I can't name at the moment, but they're referred to as typically male behaviours.

 

Not only as hard as you can, but actually hurting the other person. This is also a test to see if the other man can be manly about it.

Well since it grows, it's only a natural process, why stop it?
...Yes I'm growing a silly goatee at the moment.

This is one thing I've never understood. It differs from T2's car story, but I'm not exactly sure how.
See for a man, it's not his fault if he's caught a flu, and a good excuse to bail out from mostly everything. But any injury is somehow "his own fault", hence, the "man" has to be manly about it.
I guess the thing is that the flu is something almost supernatural, since it involves some remotely scientific explanations (=woman stuff... we men know the earth is round), but a broken bone is only a broken bone, something anyone can understand.

 

I never had any sisters, and my Mother grew up with 5 brothers, so the Toilet seat was never an option--until my Grandmother moved in, and I realized she doesn't turn the light on in the middle of the night...

As for the worls as our urinal, I live in the country, I call that water conservarion.

As for the remote, I like the guide feature on the Sattelite. I can quickly find what I want (Sports Radio as my default), and I can figure a routine of stuff I want to watch...

 

Well, after the cat fell in the toilet the fourth or fifth time, resulting in a soaking wet house (It's amazing how much water cat fur can hold), my then-husband finally agreed to make sure to put down both parts of the seat...

 

If you have baby of walking age or a toddler around the house, that is a very good reason to keep the toilet seat down - even then it is sometimes difficult to prevent valued objects from swimming down the swirling hole.

 

Heh..."men" and "women" roles.

Whenever a wowan tries to pull that crap, just reply with, "Women fought long and hard for equal rights, so unless you want to go back to slaving away in the kitchen, do it yourself!"

You might end up sleeping on the couch, but it's worth taking a stand for!

 

Stefanina, did you get badly scratched putting the cat in? I imagine it took quite a few seconds of holding it underwater to get it fully soaked....

 

Oh, you poor, poor man. I see a long future of back pain for you . . .

 

Or a short, short, marriage.

 

Sitting down everytime you use it might offset such arguments...

 

I will admit said cat was lacking in the brains department, even for a cat...
The fun day was when he fell in a vat of oil on the neighbor's property... but that's a story for a new thread.

 

Nah, she doesn't kick to hard. As for the "short, short, marriage" comment, the wife and I have an excellent marriage! There are almost no traditional gender roles in our home. If her reasons to get me to do something include a gender role (i.e. "Because you're the man!"), I simply remind her that we could go back to living the way they did back in the '50s.

The only exceptions to the rules are: getting something she can't reach (which she takes advantage of far too often...oh the joy of being married to a 5-foot-nothing woman ), and doing something that requires more strength than she can muster...but I usually make her try to do it herself 1st.

Case in point, we both cook (I'm the better cook anyway), we both do the dishes, we both do the laundry, we both clean the litter box, we both take out the garbage, and the toilet seat/cover get's closed after every use.

 

Is that not just normal?

 

That's the current social norm...but that certainly was *not* the way it was done in the past. Back in the day, the man was the bread-winner, while the wife cooked, cleaned, and tended to the children.

Men had it easy back then.