Relationship Rant Thread #5

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disciple with sledgehammer + dove = galagher(the comedian) with a watermelon

 

Tis true...and thanks. Although...are you sure you don't want to try out that yoga mat?

 

Actually, they may not be a bad idea. Doves are proably better at escaping Disciple's hammer than you or I, so perhaps no-one gets harmed. And if he gets one...you can't tell me the resulting feather explosion wouldn't be funny?

 

Exploding doves are not funny (nor is anything else involving the unnatural demise of animals).

Unless you're talking about the ice cream bar, in which case I deny any involvement.

 

Reminds me of a stoner movie called "School's High" or something like that - the two idiots fed bird food mixed with nitroglycering to pidgeons - nice booms.

And the only thing that gets bashed with my faithful barbed wire advisor is inert stuff -- metal sheets, old computers, old furniture, stuff like that.

You folks are picturing me as a sledgehammer swinging psycho. Well, you know what, you're right. That's the only thing which keeps my temper in check.

You're welcome, and no thanks. Yoga is boring.

 

YES, Barmy got his wicked way with said nice attractice girl last night!

Hopefully see more of her - she's a keeper

 

Since when do you have any class when saying you shagged, Barms?

 

So, I am going to a mailing list meetup tonight - And likely to run into the guy I like as well as his friend.

I am not expecting drama, but I am hoping I will manage to SOMEHOW ask the one I like to go out with me - any suggestions on how to do it?

 

Disciple, it takes time to establish trust with someone... if she had a bad past experience, it is understandable that she would be wary... I think patience on both your parts is needed, especially if you want to work it out. You can't run away everytime she does something you don't want her to (and she can't run away from you likewise). Of course, it is too late to say it, but that was my

 

So I should have just shut my mouth, bide my time and suffer her jealousy tantrums until I've been enough of a good boy for her to even remotly begin to trust me?

Nuh-huh.

I get your point, Saber, but I won't pay the price because a past idiot of hers decided to mess with her head and pack her with trust issues. I understand it takes time to trust someone, but there's no way in my right mind I'd just sit by and suffer the jealousy tantrums time and time again. F that S.

Would you REALLY stand it if an hypothetic gf busted a fuse everytime you decided to hang with a female friend because in her head, if you hang out with her, that means you're banging her? I'd rather be single than suffer this crap.

 

It'll be alright, she doesn't come on here!

I never slept with her though. Just a bit of a kiss and cuddle. She's too nice to even contemplate that yet. That'll take some while to get, I can tell, but I don't mind at all. I'm a smitten to tell the truth. She's absoluterly lovely, noone ever has a bad word to say about her. Here's to hoping she wasn't just very drunk, eh! I'll be quite upset if I don't get with this girl properly, she's one of the nicest people I've met a long time.*

* I've put a lot of work into it so far as well!

 

Barmy, I for one salute your class on the matter.

The way you write about her... I respect that.
I hope things work out for you two.

 

So long as she's not a distrustful paranoid like my ex, you'll be fine, Barms.

 

DoTW, some things first...

Firstly, she's not necessarily at fault for having issues. As you say - someone messed with her head. She can't be held to what she didn't do. At the same time she doesn't exactly deserve to be left alone with her problems, either.

That you don't need to pay the price? If you put it that way, you don't. You aren't personally responsible for anyone else's doing, that's for sure. On the other hand, goodness requires suffering at least some effects of what evil minds have done, so that more good would unfold. Good things don't come easy. Sometimes you need to weed through a dozen of issues to find a good woman. Some really good people have really messed up personalities as a result of their past suffering.

In fact, perhaps the idiot who messed with her head was himself a victim of someone else's wrongdoing and he ended up hurting her without it being rationally deliberate.

It would be a bit too easy if he had everything on a silver plate and we didn't have to suffer any inconveniences. Since our worst enemies can turn out our best friends at a later stage, so can people with issues become our most worthy and dedicated companions. Patience is required in working out those issues. Loads of patience can change people. Love can. Charity can. Putting up with things is sometimes necessary.

A jealousy tantrum? Definitely not nice. Not nice to be exposed to the risk of it happening again later for sure. If you know you won't be able to take it, it's probably better to move on. On the other hand, it often pays to tolerate people's faults. If we tolerate theirs, they just might tolerate ours. And we all have faults.

This said, I'm very bad at taking things, sometimes, myself.

Love is hard work, anyway.

And no, I don't want to diminish your suffering and pain. I've been through some of it, it's hard. It has led to break-ups or prevented relationships.

 

I have my own fair share of problems without having to cope with someone else's. The tantrum she threw with the lingerie episode, I understood, so I wiped the slate and moved on. The tantrum she threw when I was with my buddies, just chilling out? I decided to grind my axe and let some time slide off before attempting to try and get to the bottom of this. When she wouldn't cool down and kept spewing her paranoid rants, a fuse busted off in my head.

I'll quote myself, telling what I told her. Carry your cross, I'll carry mine. Sort out your stuff, learn to open up to someone and accept the possibility of being hurt otherwise every future relationship you're gonna have is going to be an abysmal failure. I don't have to nor do I feel like paying the price for someone else's idiocy. I'm categorically refusing to live with your obvious lack of trust in me and don't get me started on jealousy tantrums.

I had some trust in her, but she obviously had no trust in me. Ball game, honey, thanks for the memories.

Meh, I think I'm gonna go back to being the taken chick uber-magnet.

 

Well, as it turned out, he appreciates the fact that I appreciate him, but nothing will ever come out of it. *sigh*

Story of my life, moving on...

On my way home, ran into someone else from the party and that seems to be going well. which is goodness.

 

I'm afraid that I disagree with the idea that love, patience or charity can change people...it may change superficial behaviours, but more fundamental things seem to be quite fixed. You just have to work with what you get and if you can't do that it's best to end it in my opinion.

Sorry to hear that, Ara...well, you seem to have moved on already.

 

BAM. To quote some famous Pantera lyrics - You can't be something you're not.

 

Not really moved on - this is rebound, pure and simple. *shakes head*

Then again, I am still not over someone else entirely so... complicated

This guy, he and I were friends. Then he did something when I had a bad breakup that led to me regarding him as more than a friend over time. He turned me down, but said we would still be friends. I thought so too. Cue year of head games and misery.

the latest? 2 weeks ago we had some serious words -a s in I gave him a letter detailing what exactly as going on in my head in regards to the past year. He told me we were still friends.

Cue 2 weeks of ignoring me completely, no response to texts or emails. Saw him Saturday - and he was again with the head games, looking at me when I was not looking at him, looking at me when he passed but not saying anything, making sure there was no chance of me speaking to him without three or four people near him whom I would rather not involve in things. Including looking at me outside and making sure I knew he was leaving with some of my “friends” just so he wouldn’t have to talk to me. Ugh.

Cure m eventually texting him around 6 am to ask him if I had told him recently that he was a *censored*.

I wish I could be rid of the seething anger and hatred I have for him. But I probably won’t until I stop loving him. Which seems.. very, very unlikely.