Cell phones and washing machines do not mix

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Why does a 13 year old need a $370 cell phone?

 

He turns 14 in a couple of weeks. He makes a decent living as a soccer referee and pet sitting. He may actually have more money then some of the first year staff here at my office.

He has offered me $95 towards the new phone as he admits he really shouldn't have had the phone in his sweatpants. I think I will eventually settle on $50 as there has to be some consequence, but obviously I can foot the bill much easier than he can.

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Incarnation #1 of the phone cost $1, it is only the replacement cost that is so expensive.

 

OK, why does the $1 phone have to be replaced with a $370 one? Why not offer to buy him (or split the cost on) the cheapest one you find, and if he wants one more expensive, he can pay for the additional cost?

And why does a 13 year old need a cell phone anyway? (I say this from an admitted perspective of ignorance given that I don't have children.)

 

Splunge,

Usually the deal is you get a phone for $1 if you agree to sign on with a particular service for a set period of time. For example, I got my current cell phone for free because I agreed to use Verizon for two years. If you lose/break/destroy your phone, typically you can only get another free one if you sign on for an additional two years, and perhaps Snook didn't want to be stuck with the same service and phone for four years. (The other thing with the two year committment, is once you're done, you can sign on for another two years AND get another free phone.)

I think a cell phone for a teenager is a good way of keeping track of them. I don't necessarily know if a 13 or 14 year old needs one, but certainly once they start borrowing the car, you'd want to know where they are.

 

I certainly hope you're not suggesting Snook should let Teen Snook borrow the car for his 14th birthday

 

Of course not - I'm just answering Splunge's quesiton for why a child would need a cell phone, and I expanded it a bit to include at what age I'd think it is appropriate. If you trust them to use a car, I think they can be responsible for a cell phone. I don't know how I'll feel as my son gets older. He's only 2 now, so obviously no cell phone yet.

 

Right, but couldn't you replace the phone with a cheaper one, but stay on the same plan?

Unless you count baby monitors...

 

Aldeth is correct. Although, I didn't have the option of signing up for an additional two year commitment.

Teen Snook got his first cellphone when he first hit middle school (5th grade, 11 years old). Me and the Mrs. never in a million years thought we would get him one then and would probably wait until 16 and he started to drive. We quickly found out how naive we were. Once the kids hit middle school their lives change dramatically. They are no longer attached to the hip of their parents. They start joining clubs, after school activities, travel sports, and develop friends that aren't always in your neighborhood. A cell phone becomes pretty much the only way to keep track of where they are and what they are doing.

 

But it would be funny. I can just imagine the follow-up thread: Cars and Lampposts do not mix.

 

I don't agree with that. The cell phone doesn't help the parent, only the kid. The number of times a child needs a cell phone are nearly non-existant -- I'm sure you can track down a few cases where the kid having a cell phone prevented a kidnapping or they were able to call for help when someone needed it, but the vast majority of time it's just talking/texting to their friends.

If a parent thinks they can get in contact with their kid because the kid has a cell phone, they are sadly mistaken -- the kid will ignore a call from their parents just as they ignore their parents when in the same room. The kids who are willing to keep their parents informed will find a way.

All in all, I think a kid having a cell phone gives a false sense of security to the parents and removes parents further form their parental roles by allowing peers to command an even greater part of their child's lives. Giving such things to kids with very little responsibility attached to ownership furthers the entire attitude of entitlement far too many young people have.

Sorry, TGS, but I think you missed a good opportunity for a "cause and effect" lesson for you teen. But then again I'm a jerk -- just ask my adult kids who want to live outside their means and get upset because I won't supplement their income like their mother does.

 

I've seen the way he drives remote control cars and bumper cars at amusement parks. He is going to wait a long time to drive.

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I have tg disagree with you here. He doesn't rule the roost, we do. He would never dream of ignoring a call or a text from us as he knows the consequences would be severe. He is a very responsible kid and takes very good care of his things. To the point that if he is riding his bicycle in the rain when he gets home he wipes it down in the garage. This incident is an aberration and I firmly believe that it is more then a little bit my fault. That is why he isn't in a hell of a lot more trouble.

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That did enter into my thought process, but it was a nice phone and he really liked it. That combined with myself being culpable in the damage, to me it wouldn't have been proper to not make him whole.

 

Fair enough Snook (excellent rebuttal, by the way -- I still say you're not to blame, he should have emptied his pockets).

 

I still don't buy that a 13 year old would ever need a cellphone. When I coached a middle school basketball team I thought it was ridiculous that all the kids had phones, I mean, I didn't even have one yet (I was 17 by the way). I agree with T2 in that if a kid wants to get a hold of his parents, they can without their own cellphone (let alone a $370 dollar one). I didn't have one and was fully expected to inform my parents where I was, whether it be collect calling (at the tone, please say your name: "I'matschoolpickmeup") or simply borrowing another person's phone.

If lilSnook being able to touch base with you was the important part, a tracphone or the cheapest model you could find would probably suffice. To go along with this, getting minimal minutes or text messaging would probably be fine as well, since probably 98% of his phone usage is probably texting friends. When I finally bought my phone (3/4 through my senior year) in the first week I had about 4000 texts (incoming and outgoing) and... 1 call. To my parents.

 

Y'know, the thread was asking about how much the kid should pay. NOT whether he should have a mobile or not. Frankly, it's nobodys business but Snooks (and Mrs Snook) if the kid has a mobile.

I'm not trying to start a fight here, but a lot of people on here who have made comments about the lad not needing a phone don't even have kids. You have no idea how much they worry you!

Can we not stick to the actual topic instead of telling people how to raise thier kids?

 

I've seen this mistake before. It isn't so much so he can reach us, it is so we can reach him. It was surprising to us also how much easier it made our lives once he got one. The fact that his friends call and text his phone means the phone at home isn't ringing off the hook which is a bonus.

That's O.K., I'm used to educating people on how the real world works

 

IMHO, if you put something in the laundry, you should check your own pockets. It's personal responsibility, and it's best learned early. If the teen is responsible enough to own the phone, it follows logically that the teen should be responsible for the phone's whereabouts. Ergo:

I would have the kid pay for his own replacement phone. If he can't, then he pays the parent back the cost of the new phone. This is not child abuse. It is teaching the teen a hard lesson.

That's my for what it's worth.

 

Good response Snook. As for the cost I would offer to buy him a cheaper model and he can split the difference in cost about to get the one he wants. I know he won't really have the money because he is only thirteen, but make him work it off for you... yard-work, household chores, etc.