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Jokey Posties

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Blackthorne TA, Dec 21, 2005.

Page 33 of 36

  1. nior Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal

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    Remove all ads!
    Which one? Arnie remembers Bambi or Arnie got bitten by a coyote? :D
     
    nior, Jan 17, 2011
    #641
  2. Faye

    Faye Life is funny. Veteran

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    That coyote must have some real cojones to bite The Terminator™
     
    Faye, Jan 17, 2011
    #642
  3. joacqin

    joacqin Confused Jerk Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Seems like every problem can be solved with gun violence.
     
    joacqin, Jan 17, 2011
    #643
  4. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    HA HA HA HA ha-ha-ha-ha! You kill me ... that was a good one joacqin.

    And now for something complete different....

    Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.

    The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two buddies, Billy Joe and Jim Bob.

    The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunt camp.

    Billy Joe arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Billy Joe said, 'Well, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'

    The mortician rolled him over and Billy Joe said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley .' The mortician thought this was rather strange.

    So he brought Jim Bob in to confirm the identity of the body.

    Jim Bob looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over... 'The mortician rolled him over and Jim Bob said, 'No, it ain't Stanley .'

    The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Jim Bob said, 'Well, Stanley had two butt holes.'

    'What? He had two anuses?' asked the mortician.

    'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: There's Stanley with them two *******s.'

    ION, I just found out you need to list *******s as two words ... ass ... and holes. :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2011
    T2Bruno, Jan 17, 2011
    #644

  5. nior Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal

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    Nice one T2, nice one. :grin:
     
    nior, Jan 17, 2011
    #645

  6. Alorekent Gems: 1/31
    Latest gem: Turquoise

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    Physics Joke

    If you do well in life and stay positive, you'll have high potential!

    SO bad....
     
    Alorekent, Feb 2, 2011
    #646
  7. Chandos the Red

    Chandos the Red This Wheel's on Fire

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    Last edited: May 13, 2011
    Chandos the Red, May 13, 2011
    #647
  8. Aldeth the Foppish Idiot

    Aldeth the Foppish Idiot Armed with My Mallet O' Thinking Veteran

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    What does FML stand for?
     
    Aldeth the Foppish Idiot, May 13, 2011
    #648
  9. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] "My Life Is Currently In A Less Than Satisfactory State of Affairs"
     
    8people, May 13, 2011
    #649
  10. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    :lol:
     
    Marceror, May 13, 2011
    #650
  11. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    F-bomb me large ... it's taking "f-bomb me" to the next level.
     
    T2Bruno, May 13, 2011
    #651
  12. Death Rabbit

    Death Rabbit Straight, no chaser Adored Veteran Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    "F@&# My Life" is what it stands for.
     
    Death Rabbit, May 13, 2011
    #652
  13. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    I guess it depends on where you're from ... they mean the same thing though.
     
    T2Bruno, May 13, 2011
    #653
  14. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    Not nearly as eloquent as 8people's rendition... but I suppose it gets the job done.
     
    Marceror, May 13, 2011
    #654
  15. Death Rabbit

    Death Rabbit Straight, no chaser Adored Veteran Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Nothing I say is a eloquent as 8peep's rendition.

    Except for her rendition of the Chaka Khan's "I Am Every Woman." Mine is totally better.
     
    Death Rabbit, May 13, 2011
    #655
  16. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] Can't argue with that! :D
     
    8people, May 13, 2011
    #656
  17. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    Well, that is a great song, so at least you've got that going for you! :D
     
    Marceror, May 13, 2011
    #657
  18. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

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    Barmy Army, May 14, 2011
    #658
  19. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    An Italian Mother (sent to me by an Italian friend who claims this could have been her mother)

    A few months after her son moved into the city, Mrs. Ravioli decided to visit him and his roomate for dinner. When she arrived she discovered her son Anthony had a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, Mrs Ravioli couldn't help but notice how pretty Maria was. While watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. As if reading his mother's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

    About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

    "Well, I doubt it," he replied, "but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:

    Dear mama,

    I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

    Love, Anthony​

    ​

    Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

    Dear son,

    I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

    Love, Mama​

    ​
     
    T2Bruno, May 27, 2011
    #659
    Master of Nuhn likes this.
  20. Taluntain

    Taluntain Resident Alpha and Omega Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    Haha, good one.
     
    Taluntain, May 27, 2011
    #660
Page 33 of 36
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