Spanking Kids / Causing Pain / OK?

So you're putting spanking on the same level as hot saucing and cold shower. I would disagree with that (depending on the spanking).

 

People who truly love their kids care enough to discipline them. There is a huge difference between disciplining a child and child abuse. Regardless, though, sometimes discipline will result in a crying child, or a child who doesn't want to talk to you, or a child screaming "that's not fair!" or whatever. It may result in stupid people with no conception of the entire situation claiming that you are "abusive". Good parents who have the child's long term well being will take the short term negative consequences.

DMC, I love you like a brother, but your poll is flawed.

 

Yeah... I'm not comfortable voting in this poll, because I'm okay with an occasional spanking -- more for breaking a rebellious will than a desire to inflict pain -- but don't see the need to go as far as hot sauce or cold showers. I have not done either of these, and can say quite soundly that I never will... and certainly not for the enjoyment of Dr. Phil fans.

 

I havent voted as I agree with Marceror, Tal and T2, it is fine to spank but the other pain methods described are abuse.

 

I spanked mine quite often, in the pre-school years.

The eldest, was a hard nut too crack. She takes totally after me in that regard.
The second was spanked less, but turned out more headstrong and a handful before he even started junior high; and he still tries to get away with most things.

I never spanked for the sake of pain.
But to put my frustration into the kids bum, to make them feel the frustration and reaffirm my position as the patriarch.

(I remember it well, the youngest did almost something dangerous, Luckily I reached him in time before the worst happened, but the shock sat well in me, and I spanked him that day, simply because he really managed to put me in and utter state of fear in that moment, expecting the worst..)

Sometimes I pinch their bum a bit, just to make them feel the sting and make them understand that they are almost crossing the line.
But usually a harshly repeated word or order does it.

Never heard of the whole hot-sauce or cold shower thing before, which is nasty IMO. Where did you guys pick those things up?

 

I am pretty certain that it is possible to discipline a child without striking them. If it wasn't there wouldn't be anyone alive in Sweden under the age of 40 as we would all have run out into the street and been run over by cars.

 

What does striking a kid and them running out in the street have to do with one another? If you're referring to my comment in the other thread about me "scaring" my kids into not running into the street, for the second time I will point out to you that I was NOT talking about hitting a kid. I was talking about making them fearful. I NEVER said that I made them fearful by striking them. I make them fearful by explaining what could happen to them.

Do you see the distinction?

 

I also didn't vote in the poll as I didn't like the choices. When Teen Snook was a youngin he got spanked when he needed it. Luckily for us (and him) that wasn't very often. When he become old enough and could be reasoned with and/or punished in other ways that was more effective. People who believe that reasoning with a two year old is possible are either delusional or very gifted.

 

I understand what Joa is saying, but *teaching* a kid not to run into the street and *striking* a kid as a means of discipline are two separate matters.

In other words, I don't see how his example in any way supports his point.

 

Occasional spanking is fine. Never in anger and never show anger when doing it. Only use it to teach your very young children that what they just did is unacceptable.

Do not beat your fifteen year old son... he will probably kick your ass the following year!

 

Spanking should remain a pleasurable activity among adults, just like God intended to.

I don't believe in causing children pain as a form of conditioning. But I don't have any kids, so my opinion might change if I do. Maybe in the most extreme cases. However, I don't see anything wrong with hitting a kid on its heavily padded diaper butt. Judging from the people around me that do have kids, that usually gets the message across, without causes any actual harm to the kid.

My cousin has a young kid and when the kid swore against his mother (he's around 5ish, the age when you should teach your kids wen it's appropriate to swear and when it isn't), he just raised his voice and send him to his room. Maybe he's lucky that that works for his kid, but I don't see any reason for striking the kid in such a situation.

Oh, and that first sentence was a joke btw, in case people take it seriously...

 

So what you are saying Blades is that under no circumstances hit someone with the ability to strike back? Stick to the defenceless ones, sounds good.

 

I think blades was being ironic.
I too thought like that when I was a kid and felt wrongfully wronged by people (parents included).
'Just you wait till I grow up, and you grow old...' but that's as fleeting as youth.

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Im all for spanking, a healthy dose of fear is a good teaching tool. Once a child learns that your discipline is backed up with nothing, they are in control.

 

So what you are saying Shoshino is that all kids should be beaten senseless just so they know they can't mess with you? Submission through fear and beatings, sounds good.

 

We joined you there a few years ago - will be interesting to see how the country doesn't fall to pieces.

As far as I am concerned, it is illegal (rightfully so) to cause pain to a fellow person - I can't go and smack someone who forgets to indicate when driving, even if it is teaching them a lesson. Children are humans to. In fact, children have less means of defending themselves (physically or legally) so need more protections in place.

All too often smacking becomes something of a habit. "My parents smacked me and I turned out alright" argument came up time and time again, when New Zealand was looking at putting forward a law to stop smacking. It's a logically flawed argument. The other one was the "I've got the right to raise my children however I want", which again is nearly as foolish, because to be completely frank, you don't.

There is never a time when a lesson can be taught better through a smack than by other means.