Do You Want Revenge On Your Ex(es)?

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I'm glad you'd hold him accountable, Blades.

@Barmy, at the risk of sounding preachy, we're stuck with them. It might sound nice to be able to unplug, but the reality of that is if you get to the point where you really don't feel anything, you're sort of ... dead.

You sound kind of pissed. Good sign - you're still alive.

 

But if a friend did that to you, is he really you're friend? That's a line that should never be crossed between friends. Hell, all the way back in high school, when you were just dating girls, you would never go out with a girl that had just broken up with your friend - never mind if they were actively dating. It just wasn't done. And that doesn't come anywhere close to putting one through your friend's wife.

 

Gaear you walk away. Neither is worth your time nor are they worth going to prison for. That said my ex's extracurricular professor never made full professor after I spoke with the department head.

That does remind me of the guy who went home to find his wife having sex with his best friend. Later that night he was in the bar and told the bartender what happened, "I threw her naked ass out the door and then just started throwing everything of hers out the window. I went to one of those 'hate the ex' web sites and posted all the pictures of her I had and even a couple of home movies. I made sure to put the link on her facebook page."

The bartender laughed, "Whoa, what did you do to your best friend?"

"I got right in his face, pointed my finger at him and said 'Bad dog, BAD DOG!'"

 

Funny.

I guess what I'm moreso getting at with the accountability thing is not whether you literally kick ass or not, but if you hold both parties equally responsible.

And yet it happens all the time. Doesn't say much for the concept of friendship, but then again the ... 'goods' ... can make the best of us lose our minds. I bet even the Dalai Lama would sleep with your wife is she was super fine and offered it up.

 

I have no idea what you people are talking about. I don't even have exes

 

The best revenge is to live well. As T2 says, it's not worth going to jail over. And after you get revenge, then they want revenge on you, and it just goes cyclic. Do I wish my ex would suffer? Yes, absolutely. it'd be nice if she admitted that she did some things wrong too. But you can drive yourself near to suicide waiting for the impossible to happen. You just try your best to let it go and move on with your life as best you can. Easier said than done, but you've gotta try.

I'm still trying. Still bitter and angry, everyone here knows that, but I think about it less often when I set my mind to other things, like my current situation and my future plans.

 

I agree that walking away is the best tactic. Or being super great after a break up so the ex regrets throwing you out of her life. That's the best feeling, I would guess. So it benefits you because you make your life better and because you can satisfy you "revenge" needs...

 

While I agree that people cheat all the time, and I have seen marriages break up because of it, I have no actual experience of the person cheating doing so with his/her partner's best friend. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I don't think it's particularly commonplace. And I realize that all I have is anecdotal evidence to support this, and I'm certainly dealing with a small sample size, but if it was that common, I'd think I would know of at least one real life example.

 

Trust me ... best friends, siblings, parents, ministers - sometimes several of them at the same time. It goes on every day in the seedy corners of existence where regular people don't often look.

[edit]

Agreed. The best result in an ex is regret, and the reason is simple: they can't go anywhere with regret but to feel more regret. If you do something to piss them off, they can turn that anger into some other useful energy (like revenge, ha-ha), but regret is useless and permanent. In a way, you're doing them a good turn by being crappy because they can tell themselves they were right and you're just an a-hole and move on that way. If you want to stay in their thoughts forever, be good about it.

Of course that's way, way WAY easier said than done because every fiber of your being wants to right the wrongs and cry out in protest and anger when you've been sh*tcanned. And not just the fibers - the brain chemistry (oxytocin crack dependancy?) that makes people lovey-dopey-crazy-stupid. So I guess it's damn near impossible really. Still, it's best if you're superhuman and can somehow pull it off.

 

Once dated a chick that became a lawyer, and all thoughts of Payback went out of the window...
Don't mess with the Law!

 

My exes have never wronged me. There is no reason for revenge. In fact, with some of them I still get along quite well. Maybe a little too well (before I met my present lady).

 

Then they must be the ones plotting revenge on you.

 

Whahaha! Nahh, I'm too sweet for that.
(Really!)