Mixed signals

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I've been single for about a year and a half now. Although I'm not really looking for a new man I have found myself appreciating some aspects of the opposite sex again. I enjoy flirting but I hate the frustration of trying to figure out what is going on in the other persons mind.

I started a new job two months ago. Since working there I've found the bulk of my co-workers to be friendly and have I no problem making casual conversation and joking with them. I've also gotten some "interested" signals from a number of male co-workers. But there is one co-worker that I find myself very attracted to and I can't tell if he's interested or scared of me. The few conversations I've had with him have been awkward and whenever he's around my vicinity he seems to look away quickly when I catch him looking at me.

My gut tells me that there is a mutual attraction but I'm getting mixed signals. I'm not really sure what to do about it so I thought I'd put it here and see what your opinions are .

 

Ask him out. The worst thing he'll say is no. It's not like he'll bite your head off or turn you in to HR for asking him if he wants to get a cup of coffee after work.

 

Does he have an interest or hobby? If so, starting a conversation about a topic he is passionate about can help him loosen up a bit, especially if he is a bit shy. Try something like "wow, this windy weather must be tough on your racing pigeons. How do you train them to not get blown off course?"

 

Huh, seems the opposition suffers such trivial gender things too.

Quite funny.

But on a more serious note, if he doesn't get more at ease around you anytime soon so you guys can feel less awkward around each other, then I suggest you corner him.


-As in 'You dig me?'

( ) yes / ( ) No

 

Thanks Darion.... Now I got Paradise by the Dashboard light stuck in my head! "What's it gonna be, boy?!"

Wait... Where did you get the idea that I'm your co-worker?

What kind of mixed signals do you get. Dice?

Btw, it's the other female co-worker he's scared of. The elderly woman with the Dutch lineage. He's either impressed, charmed or self-consciously attracted to you. (I wanted to say that no man would be scared of a person with your height , but that would be grossly underestimating you; I hear you made purses out of gators when you were really young. )

You could ask him out, but because the conversations have been awkward, I'd say you wait until Harbs suggestion bears some fruit.
And try to smile at him before he looks away.

 

As a rule, I've always stayed really far away from workplace romance. That could be a part of the mixed signal you are getting.

 

Hmph! Take it where you can get it I say. I mean romance, get your mind out of the gutter...

 

Exactly Blades, a good shag in the back room is always the way to go!

Then pretend to be interested in the answer.

 

Mrs. Snook probably appreciates that fact. (Or at least you better hope she does!)

But yeah, those situations can have anwkward results, particularly if the relationship ends badly.

 

That was always my thought. When I was in high school and college I didn't care as they were all part time jobs (and everyone was screwing anyway).

As an adult with a real job I equate it with *****ing where you sleep. Even animals don't do that.

 

Maybe this whole dilemma isn't that deep or philosophical as we automatically assume.
Over-analyzing won't get us nowhere.

 

Flash him.

If he stares (and possibly drools) he's interested -- go for it (if you can handle the whole office romance thing).

If he looks awkward or embarrassed he's just not wired that way (not saying anything is wrong with that) -- move on.

If you're approached by human resources and shown the door then realize it was not meant to be.

 

Not to Rain on Bruno's optimistic Parade...but in a Workplace setting this could be considered 50 shades of sexual harassment.
And Dice is risking being labeled something she may not approve of.

But I'm gonna Like his post simply because of its proactive nature and nice warm mental image it evokes.

 

Yeah, the general problems with workplace romances aside, I think he's shy for the reason dmc points out. Plus the awkward conversations could mean that he wants to talk to you, but isn't sure how to break the ice. Harbs' idea is a good one.

 

What a bunch of weaners. What is wrong with workplace romances? At least half of the happily married people I know (including me) met and linked up with their spouses at work. It's got to be worth the risk. If it doesn't work out, there's always the option of being mature and grown up and professional about it.

 

lol WOW ... I wasn't expecting this much feedback

@ dmc, and the rest of my friends here who mentioned the workplace thing. When I first started we had an orientation that included a 30 minute "movie" about the history and workings of the company I'm working for. Its a very large family owned business, and in one section of the film they discussed how a number of employees have met their significant others there There is even a married couple working in different departments and their 13 year old daughter is working in my dept for the summer. There are no policies against it.

I actually did sort of attempt to talk to him twice today. I was walking through the store and he was coming from the other direction so I said "Hey" to which he replied "Hey hows it going..."

Then near the end of my shift (I work in the warehouse section of a large sports store) he walked through the back. Most of my co-workers leave half an hour before me so I was alone there. He rapidly walked through scrutinizing the boxes and so when I asked him by name what what he was looking for, he said "Nothing, I'm just seeing what is here for my department" He sounded very formal and serious when he said it.

Also, I didn't mention that I'm a few years older than him. The age difference doesn't particularly bother me though .

 

Did you try that trick yet where you lick your finger, stroke his shirt with it and suggesting to get those wet clothes off?

If he sounds formal and looks away quickly, he's probably a crook thinking you're an undercover cop! Make sure you do something sneaky!

 

I'm a fan of dropping an innocent f-bomb and seeing how the target responds to it. If they get all trembly, you're probably good. (This works best for women on men though ... it may sound creepy coming from a guy.)