Who can honestly say they have 'true' friends

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I mean get this, its damn easy to say that i have loadsa close friends and i have acouple of best friends but can you say if they are true friends? I mean friends that don't critize you behind your back, friends that would defend you despite you not being there y'know what i mean? And i was just wondering how many 'true' friends you have...

I mean lets face it, there aren't many people out there that will stick by you through thick and thin and you for them.

Lets put it this way, i have a large circle of friends (practically my whole year and a few above and below)
And from that circle, i basically have my 'group' that always hang out together near enough.
Now in terms of true friends, out of the ... 10+ friends there, i could honestly say that i only have 2 true friends from that group and 2 from outside social life of school.

Now the reason that i only consider these 4 friends as true friends, it is because, they are people that i feel at total ease with, am able to talk to and listen to, able to give and recieve advice, do not backstab or critize behind my back, defend me if my physical form is not present, help and guide me through difficult stages in life etc. These are the kind of friends that would stick with you through the good as well as the bad times. The other friends are nothing more than hypocritical, immature, shit-stirring gits that only want to better themselves over each other. Its just a pity that there are too many of the 'non-true' kind and too few of the true. As for myself, i try to be the best i can ... i'd consider myself a true friend to those that treated me the same or are nearing to treating me the same (I have a tendency to do more) but as for those slime balls that only show arrogance etc. well they can shove it where the sun don't shine.

So tell me, do you have any 'true' friends, how many if any, what you think of my theory thing and whether you consider yourself a true friend

 

I have 1 friend that I would consider true, she is the only person I can tell everything and anything to.

 

Four real friends at once is a lot, really. You are blessed if there are that many truly loving people in your life - outside of family- at once. Most "friendships" are actually acquaintanceships, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just because you like to have dinner or drinks or coffee with someone doesn't mean you should trust them with your heart, secrets or wallet.

I usually have one "Best" friend and that's it, although over the years that role has been filled by several different women. Now my best friend is my husband, although my best girlfriend (my ex-roommate from college) is still very close to me- we bond telephonically over every triumph and sorrow. Unfortunately she lives really, really far away in northern Canada- I once calculated that the distance between Monte Carlo and Kiev is same as the distance between her place of residence and mine. It's a long, but very worthwhile drive I make with my mother every couple of years or so since her best friends are out there too.

[Edit: I meant to add at the end of the second paragraph: if you are finding it frustrating to be "Friends" with people you can't trust enough to be truly emotionally intimate with, there's no reason not to shrink your social circle. Quality is more important than quality where friendship is concerned.)

[This message has been edited by Sprite (edited May 17, 2002).]

 

1. I'm not sure if he does ever thing that you said but he sure does alot more then the rest of them.

Any more if you wernt friends with them by 6th grade through...they dont even talk to you in high school. I made the mistake of not talking to some good friends for two years thinking that I found some really good ones. I was wrong. The friends that I thought we're better friends where not. And the friends that I left in the dust. They dont like me at all anymore.

Only 1 friend has reallys stayed with me. But I fear that he to will dump me sooner of later for the girls. Life pretty much sucks when it comes to friends in my little world.

 

True friends are a rare commodity. They are where I come from anyhow. I don't really know if this holds true for the rest of the world. As for me, I only have one true friend. I have many friends, don't get me wrong, but most are more like buddies. Then of course there are the ones who act nice to my face and talk about me behind my back in a way that they know would get them pounded if they said it to my face. It's rather sad, but in my experience most people, in my age group at least, are more interested in themselves than anything else.

 

My father used to tell me that a true friend is someone that you can call at 3am and say "I need you" and they will be there. So yes, in my experience, true friends are extremely rare. I have one, my wife Sheryl. My brother was also a true friend.

 

I don't share your simple views on friends. Friends are not there just to be available when you need them. They are not there only to "kill" time with you and get rid of boredom. They are not there to accept all your ideas no matter if those are good or not. And they are not there just to praise you and bow down when they see you.

These below are not my words, but that's my vision of the friendship, so I'm plagiarizing them:

-------------------------------------------

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

 

nice, extremist. I have only one true friend, but it's one I can trust totally.

 

Extremist, nice spin. Where did I say that friends are there just to be available when you need them? As usual, you can take a harmless statement and twist it into a burn.
My point was that when you are really in trouble (death in the family, car wreck, personal crisis), a true friend will be there for you, where more casual pals can not be counted on.
I apologize for being unclear (if I was). Your response implies a level of selfishness that I am incapable of.
True friendship cannot be described in one line, or in 18 as you attempted.

 

I usually have plenty of people to hang out with and people that I can trust, but I have 2 'true' friends (also counting my brother)

 

True friends? I wish I could say I had some for sure, but I don't know for sure if any of my friends would do all of that for me, other than my brothers. I MAY have one true friend at school, but I can't say for sure. What I can say, is that is that I consider myself a true friend to ALL of my friends. My best friend told me last year that he could count on me for anything, from fighting at his side, to taking a bullet for him, which is a sort of silent vow I make to all of my friends.

 

The problem with most people now is that they always try to cover themselves up with some attitude. I mean, when you look at them properly, you'll find that they probably are nice people that have the 'potential' to become a true friend. But with the way attitude is set now, they cover it up with fake identities and try to act to what is 'in' at the time. People also tend to not desire to show their real side, and rather show this hard exterior which is well ... fake.

 

I feel awfully neglected here Ex

 

A True friend is someone that is not afraid, or unwilling, to to tell you what you need to hear, and who makes it so that you want to hear it, even if you really dont. Ex, has it close, but its different for different people, not everything the Ex, or Jack Funk, or Sniper said is true for all people, a True friend is someone that has the qualities that are the best in your sight.

To answer the question posed by this thread, I have 4 people that I concider True friends, none of them have the same qualities, and that is why they are my closest friends. One of them happens to be my girlfriend, two happen to be friends I have met over the internet, and another is closer to me than a brother could ever be.
Another that I could almost concider a True friend, about the only reason I dont, is, the lenght of time I have known him, a matter of months, he is about the closest friend I have here.

In short, dont let someone tell you what is a True friend, Find out for yourself.

 

I thought this was about who had true friends or not, but now I'm starting to believe that this is about the definition of true friends. Sheesh.
I know I only have 2 true friends. One of my friends is a more fun-lovin' serious kind of girl who knows how to handle tough lovin and breaking up, someone I can relate to on my "popular" side. My other friend is Dudette, the smart one who knows all the answers to maturity and wisdom. Even though Dudette hates my other true friends, I don't really care because they don't talk to each other.

 

True friend....that to me is a werid question to ask. And i really think it changes with people and with time. Last year at this time, if someone was a "true" friend, the would listen to me ramble on about this guy that i liked name John Castleberry. 6 months ago, it would have been anyone that would have just plain listen to me. Now, i believe i have a clearer view on what a TRUE friend is. They are someone that will stick beside you...and resept your desicions and your thoughts. they also most resepct what you are... and love you anyways. THey need to know your flaws, and not be boter by them. And i just think that the need to be able to see your side of the subject when you two disagree (which you must also do for them).

[This message has been edited by Punk Slacker (edited May 18, 2002).]

 

Excuse me, but neglected you'll remain as all things pay back. And when I'm the one who "pays", things pay back with interest. Sorry 'bout that. Have fun in the Temple!

 

Have fun in the temple?

[This message has been edited by Lokken (edited May 18, 2002).]

 

Yes, Temple.
As every other god, I suppose even the God of Mutes has his own Temple to allow his disciples to worship him.

 

Well, i did ask people what they thought of my theory which i suppose does allow them to put forward their theories ... well its something like that ... you have any Shadow_Goddess?