Santa is dead....

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The first thing kids should learn in physics-

There are approximately two billion children in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist (except maybe Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, which comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each for each household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purpose of our calculations) we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops and breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, and moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more then a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds) the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tonnes, not counting Santa himself. On land a conventional reindeer can pull no more then 300 pounds. Even granting that a "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them - Santa would need 360.000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54.000 tonnes, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the Monarch) 600.000 tonnes, traveling at 650 miles per second, creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14,3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time when Santa would reach the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 mps. in 0.001 second, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17.000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which is ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of
the sleigh by 315.015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore if Santa did exist, he's dead now.


Cool huh.

 

Ah yes science is a wonderful thing. However, Santa is magical and does not obey the standard laws of physics. In particular he has a huge supply of time stop spells from BG2. He uses these to allow himself to get around the world in a nice leisurely fashion. I'm not sure where he finds all these spells though. I'll ask him when I speak to him next

 

LOL you read my mind on the time stop spells....

 

What I want to know is how santa could fit in
a sleigh or stay up in the air for that matter? I mean the reindeer have to be pretty strong to hold santa.

 

nice

 

Haha LOL Septic!!