I need some tips

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Okay first, I want this topic to be purely help and advice. I don't want some sarcastic git to come in and offer something crap and stupid. I need helpful answers here so please respect my request.

Anyway here goes...

I split with this girl that i really liked last week. Thing was, was that she seemed really uncertain about splitting and seemed almost indecisive (plus she also cried when we hugged)

Anyway, after that, i was like ... well y'know? crying myself to sleep etc. Anyhow, we're speaking now and i find that everytime i speak to her, i get that feeling in my heart and i just want to hold her

Also, now i know that this sounds pervy but while at work (we work at same place) and i'm finishing my shift and getting my coat while she's downstairs on till, I was getting my coat when i saw hers and i just had to go and smell it again for y'know, her smell. Anyway, i smelt her coat and it was such a pleasant feeling to smell 'her'... it hit me straight away and forced me to sit down to collect my thoughts.

Another thing, was that soon after breaking up, i found out that her decision was not hers completely. She was influenced by our best mate marie who has fancied me in the past. So in this sense i am slightly relieved and also bloody annoyed.
Now, i am adament to try and get her back

So this is where you guys come in, i need your help and advice to give me ideas on how i can convince my ex to go back out with me? And also feel free to ask questions to help fill in anything that i may have missed. Over to you...

 

Why did you break up in the first place? You sound hooked. If the original reasons are still there, then see if you can work through them. If it is just her friend, then why was she swayed so easily?
By all means, sit down, talk to her, tell her how you feel. If it's going to work out, then that is how to start. Give it all you've got and accept that you could get hurt. It would be worth it to know for sure.

 

I'm not sure what could I possibly suggest you to do.

But I'm 100% sure I want to be on your place right now! Ooh, love pain, sweet pain...

 

Sounds like you got it bad, is this your first love?

 

The best advice I can give you is to be open and honest. Ask her to go for a walk with you. Start with seeing how each other are doing. Dont delay what you want to tell her till the end of the walk. Some time after you each tell each other how your doing then tell her how you feel and discuss what she and you think you could & should do.

Their is probley people here with better advice. Maybe Sprite, she seems to have lots of helpful info on these typy's of subjects.

 

If you have a decent number of pictures of the two of you when you were dating, then you could make a website in honor of when you two went out. Shralp and several others on these boards can train you in poetry . And you can write out all your feelings. And then send her the link in a creative way. Hey it's something different, and it should get her attention.

I dunno just another goofy Big B suggestion I guess ...

 

www.askmen.com
awesome site for these kinda stuff.

 

i don't know the reasons for your breakup, but as some of us here have noticed, it seems that you are both in love with each other. so i'll work with these assumptions:

1. your breakup was actually to please other people. if this is the case, are they worth it? when i asked "are they worth it?", you must take into consideration about your future, the emmotions involved not just between you and her but also with them. these people might be someone of great value to one of you or even both of you. are you willing to loose them for each other? or can you find a way to provide harmony with her and all these people? here you have a choice, you can both talk about it and resolved it among the two of you. or you can include the people concerned. personally, i don't believed in the idea of "it's our life and they have nothing to do with it". we lived in a world with many people, and these people may be a big part of your life. go to the roots.

2. one of you did something the other did not approved. let's say you want to follow you dreams or your plans, and these doesn't really fits with your partner's plans. are you willing to compromise? that means sacrificing something you really want.

either one, you really need to talk. let her know how you really feel. but you better be sure that thst is what you feel. when to talk? some might suggest you talk right away, while the wounds are still fresh - kill the pain right away. or take some time off each other, maybe a couple of weeks. do some soul searching, know what you really want.

btw, never under estimate petty things (talk it out if that's what hurting you guys). as i have observed, it is the petty things that breaks up a relationship, big problems usually makes relationships better and stronger.

i hope this helps. good luck.

 

Could you provide a bit more back ground, like how long you were seing her etc. Also some clues as to why this happened, or at least sort of how she phrased it when it happened.

I know it's private and may hurt, but we'll be better placed to help if we know a bit more.

 

More background informantion...

• We had been going out for 2 months
• She said that she wasn't sure of us (she kept on using alot of "I don't know" and "I'm not sure" which shows that she was confused and unsure of how she was feeling)
• She cried when we hugged/parted
• We've been aquaintences for 2 years and friends for about 1
• I heard from sources that she was influenced in her decision to split with me
• she thought that i was more passionate than her and that she felt mean to stay with me considering the fact that i'm more affectionate
• She used a thing saying that she found it hard to 'commit' after what happened in the past with one of one of my best mates where he dumped her after 3 weeks through a text message

Is there anything else that you would like me to add...

and thankyou to those that have respected my request.

 

I was recently in a similar situation and my friend gave me some really good advice. You may not find it helpful right now, but maybe you will give it some thought.

Anyway here's the email exchange:

-------------------------------
From Methylviolet:

>I never did tell you the hormone remark.
> Guy Who Jilted Methylviolet:...women ...emotional...
> Me: Oh God! Am *I* completely irrational?
> GWJM: No! You're *very* rational -- you just -- you're talking, and being
> completely logical and then, I can *see* it in your face, some hormone
> passes over you --
> Me: Hormone!
> GWJM: OK, not hormone -- some *chemical*. OK, chemical?
> Me: Allright, chemical. Chemical? What -- ethanol?
> GWJM: No -- you always do that -- I don't know *what* it is.
> Me: Yeah, f*** you. Chemical?
> Then...
> Me: (gasp)
> That drunken awareness dawns that he can read my mind and is sitting there
> laughing at me. I immediately die of embarrassment and he bemusedly tries
> to calm me down.
>
> What he was actually talking about -- now, I wonder. Who knows? Do you?

From Friend of Methylviolet:
What was GWJM thinking? Chemical meant a feeling of love that, he,
unfortunately, doesn't share. I'm sure there is a chemical basis, but I'll
leave that research to someone else. Anyway, the good thing is to have
those feelings, but now find someone who shares them with you. That's the
tricky part. It is so easy to be drawn into the vacuum of love me, love me,
love me. As someone, who you know, can relate, it's a bad trip. I guess it
comes from trying to please very critical parents. They made us smart and
competitive, but they also made us vulnerable to these situations.

You've got GWJM out of your life...now the challenge of getting him out of
your head. This is often very hard. When I find myself thinking of a
certain unhealthy relationship, I just say, I think I have learned
everything I can from this, so now I want to think of something else. Like
kids, art projects, just looking around the world, and not having my head in
this space where it is telling me I am not good enough.

 

Well, Sniper, if you want her THAT bad, and if she was influenced. Ask her out again, saying that you really missed her, and know that she didn't want to break out with you in the first place. And if she asks why... I think you've listed plenty of reasons to go back out. Good luck getting her back.

 

Abandon her, or kidnap her. It would probably be easier to find a dumb girl who would go out with you until you die no matter if Marie tells her not to.

Or you could ask her the truth of her decision and beg forgiveness and all that. It always works. In the movies it does.