Why did the Chicken cross the road?

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Ok, here is an email I got not to long ago that I just had to post!
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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called intoquestion.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSAIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

KEN STARR
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As aresult, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell,alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 02, which will not only explore your documents, and balance your checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The Road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

They always save the best for last!!!!

 

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nice.
i liked einstein and col. sanders.

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oh, good fun... I especially liked this one:

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.

So true, even though I can't stop reading it with the grandpa from the Simpsons' voice.. not sure if they meant him...

 

More!!

Bill Clinton - "I repeat, I did not have sexual intercourse with some chicken crossing the street.

George Bush: "Make no mistake about, I will hunt down every chicken responsible to ever cross a street"

Arafat: "In order to keepa the worlda peace, we must not worry about chickens crossing the streeta, the street is made with gods cementa, so thereforea, every chicken, from every religion, shoulda be able to crossa the streeta"

Sharon: "Look at what has happened in history, Jewish chickens crossing the street worldwide were humiliated, beaten and even killed. IN 1940-1945 there was one person who made it possible to kill even 6 million of our chicken, that's why we took a country in the middle-east, with help from Europe and America, and started our own state, where every chicken from our
religion could safely walk the street. It did not work out that well, and we now behave just like that man in 1940 behaved to us."

Kenny: " Mmpmf mmfpmfp mpmppmf mmfppmh, mpmhdhp mpdhm, mpdhf. Mpmgpd, mpdg mpdgmpmdfd mpdmpfdm!"
Cartman: " ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Kenny you're groce!"
Kenny: " Mf mf mf mf mf mf mf !"

John F. Kennedy: " Ask not, what that chicken can do for you, but ask how you can help other chickens cross the street!"

 

Hehe. Here, it's more than a year old, not all of them are chicken jokes, but oh well... Jokes

[ August 08, 2002, 14:31: Message edited by: S Goddess ]

 

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Wasn't it just, "to get to the other side"?
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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cos it was stapled to the chicken.
Hehe, Shura takes the credit for this one.

 

Didn't want to resurrect the old Jokes topic to add this one.

/me clears his throat
*ahem* The monkey joke

Q. Why did the first monky fall out of the tree?
A. It was dead!

Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
A. It was tied to the first monkey!

Q. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
A. Peer pressure!

Q. Why did the cyclist die?
A. He was hit by 3 falling monkeys!

Hmm when my friend says it his timing is just perfection and it cracks me up every time

 

I got that email over 2 years ago, and I keep it just because it always makes me laugh! I really like DR. SEUSS's "reason"!

 

I liked the Bible one and the Dr. Suess one.

 

I just love chickens, and I knew most of the reasons, but the ones I didn't knew are great to!

Maybe I must edit the chicken section of my site!