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DnD Humor, 157 things that you wouldn't want to hear an apprentice say

Discussion in 'Dungeons & Dragons + Other RPGs' started by Azirath, Sep 13, 2001.

  1. Azirath Gems: 6/31
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    Azirath, Sep 13, 2001
    #1

  2. Nobleman Gems: 27/31
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    quite funny even though it repeats itself pretty much. the last one was a verbal pearl.

    Priest: Shit, its a dead-end. Acolyte: Can you resurrect it, Master?
     
    Nobleman, Sep 13, 2001
    #2

  3. Azardu Gems: 9/31
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    [​IMG] Funny indeed!
     
    Azardu, Sep 14, 2001
    #3

  4. Crawl Gems: 23/31
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    Those are pretty good, but the list is so dang long, it really looses it's impact about 30 or so one liners in. Should have been shorter and less repetative. But the familar jokes were coold, especially the first one.

    "I finally shot that owl that's been folowing you around!"

    Also liked this one alot.

    "Uhh.. you know that nubile virgin you bought in last night? Well, we started talking and.. uhh.. one thing led to another...."
     
    Crawl, Sep 14, 2001
    #4

  5. Shraz Gems: 1/31
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    They could have got a bit more creative, there are spells other than fir and summon demon spells. It was pretty good though.
     
    Shraz, Sep 14, 2001
    #5
  6. Maertyn

    Maertyn There's nothing I cannot embrace! Veteran

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    [​IMG] Hmmm, most are nice, but I didn't get those:

    58. "Uh, Master, why was this mirror lying face-down on your table? Master? Master? Gee, where'd he go?" (scratches head) Some spell for planar travelling?

    65. "Okay, I put the glyph of paralyzation on the foyer door and the fire trap on the library door. Then I set up the guards and wards spell, Then the Maze spell." ??

    93. [someone's at the door:] "No, he's been alone in his room with that fancy sword for a few days now... Sure, I'll go get him for you!" No idea...

    134. "You, stupid peasants !! Either you obey my master or he'll turn all of you into toads!! YEAH!!! You think that just because you brought four paladins with you that he's scared?! NO WAY!! And as soon as he gets out of the bathroom he'll teach all of you a lesson !" Inquisitors??

    est ones: 113/122
     
    Maertyn, Sep 14, 2001
    #6

  7. Zorac Gems: 11/31
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    93. I'm guessing that he is creating a magical sword and needs to be uninterupted for a week or two.

    Not sure about the others.
     
    Zorac, Sep 14, 2001
    #7

  8. Capstone Gems: 16/31
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    [​IMG] 134. The mage is in the bathroom because he peed his pants.
     
    Capstone, Sep 14, 2001
    #8

  9. AvaLance204 Gems: 6/31
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    [​IMG] 58. Mirror of Imprisonment(?)

    65. The master can't get through the foyer door, and when he enters the library, the books explode.

    93. Animated sword(?) or creating a magic item. The pupil is interrupting...
     
    AvaLance204, Sep 16, 2001
    #9

  10. Shadowcouncil Gems: 29/31
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    139. "I was just in the library Master and was wondering, do you have a Xerox machine ?"
    140. "Hey, I just learnt the magic missile spell Master. Pretty accurate 'aint it. I'll be back later...just going
    down to the pub for a game of darts."
     
    Shadowcouncil, Sep 17, 2001
    #10
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