The adventures of REAL Man (SoA)

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Can't do it. Firkraag is too hard. I must have tried this one twelve times. You can't kill a red dragon with no combat preparation, no "lower resistance", no artifact-level weapons, and no use of tactics. Sorry. If anyone else can, I'd love to hear about it. I've killed him plenty of times in the past without the truly cheesy exploits like getting him stuck in a death fog or using 27 traps, but without casting so much as an "improved haste" in advance, I'm going on record saying it's not possible.

Reload from before leaving for Windspear Hills. (Doing part of the dungeon and then running away is not REAL Man's style.) Our hero has to hear Viconia breaking up with him again. Terrific. The only quests now remaining undone in Athkatla are Windspear Hills and the Planar Prison, neither of which REAL Man can beat. The liches are still too hard and the Twisted Rune is one I'm not even going to try, since no one who can't kill a lich is doing anything but beating their head on a wall in there.

Next up: Bodhi.

 

Well, I won't argue with you when you say that you can't beat Firkraag with no prep.. But, I am sure someone somewhere will figure out a way to do it. Maybe an uber-party with all of the uber-weapons in the game? Then again, with judicious (quick) use of the pause key, you should be able to start the magic spell casting prepwork as soon as the monster turns red.... Do any of your casters have simulacrum? If so, that should help - assuming that you wind up taking him on with 4 fighters... (Sorry, forgot exactly who is in the party right now and can't get back to the right page to see it)... If you wound up with 2 casters with simulacra, you'd have 4 casters (effectively) and 4 fighters... Then, if one of the fighters could wear Vjhailor's Helm (is that even possible?), that would make 5 fighters....total of nine in the party now....

So, without "cheese", it may still be possible, though I readily admit the "no cheese" restriction makes it MUCH MORE DIFFICULT than it normally is.... I am also fairly sure that Firkraag is more difficult as your average party LEVEL increases - it seems he fights more effectively to me...

Anyway, good luck with Bodhi.

 

Simulacrum is a summoning spell, and forbidden. REAL Man also isn't allowed to use items from the bonus merchants. And most of the uber-weapons have been derided as cheese at some point, like Crom Faeyr. The only thing I'm thinking might help would be if I had a custom-made party of six fighter-cleric-mages. Then they could all make spell sequencers with hastes and valid protection spells in them, spend their first combat actions activating those, and then wale on him. The NPCs available normally in the game are not up to this task. There isn't time even to haste everyone if you wait for the dragon to turn red, much less start dealing any damage.

Anyway, when last we left our hero, he was trudging resolutely to the Graveyard District to kill Bodhi and/or die trying. First, though, she whisked in and kidnapped Viconia as a 'warning'. Oh, like this was going to make REAL Man *less* likely to kill her. Viconia's loss wasn't really that crushing, since she was the weakest fighter and her absence meant Anomen could now use Holy Smites on the vamps without accidentally killing Viconia. But we could use a sixth person for the interim, so REAL Man went back to pick up Valygar, a good extra sword arm. Korgan would have been even better, but he would have ruined the Holy Smite attack, and IIRC, he makes you grovel if you want to take him back in the party, and REAL Man's not into groveling. Valygar was added, and the party headed in after Bodhi, joined by friendly paladins and thieves.

As it turned out, though, all this help was for naught, because the vampires repeatedly kicked the party's ass, and in the end the only way for REAL Man and his friends to kill the last batch was for Jaheira to f'in solo the place. I am not kidding. The vamps' dire charms frustratingly resisted dispels (and, of course, charming them back would have been cheesy), and between the charmed defectors and the level-draining we kept getting ripped to shreds. Finally Jaheira put on the necklace that prevents level draining and the helm of charm protection and went and killed their asses herself. By the time her second round of ironskins wore off Bodhi was dead, and the rest of the party came in to give Jaheira some well-earned relief mopping up the leftover grimwarders. Does that count as tactics? I think REAL Man is too damn impressed to care.

So then the battered party staked Bodhi, collected Viconia's corpse, read a book about reviving her whose instructions were so blatantly obvious even REAL Man wondered how anyone could ever be confused about what to do next, and headed back to the Temple Ruins. The biggest pain here was wending all the way through the dungeon to that stupid statue again. Viconia was revived and duly grateful, but did not start sleeping with REAL Man again. Oh, well, can't have it all. Valygar returned home and Viconia rejoined the party, and after a much-deserved night's rest, REAL Man and company headed back to tell the elves the good news.

Further bulletins as events warrant!

 

<<<Does that count as tactics? I think REAL Man is too damn impressed to care. >>>

Well, Lerrahud, Duharrel. Reluhdra and I are all impressed as hell also! Jaheira can rock my world!

 

The druid with the heart of a Klingon, I call her. I can't see as how taking on a superior enemy alone is in any way unmanly, though I'm less sure about the rest of the party wussily hiding behind her. But maybe she told them she wanted to take this one on herself and they honored her wishes as she presumably would honor theirs.

When last we left our hero, he was heading for the elven war camp to tell them he'd defeated Bodhi. En route, he was intercepted by Elminster, who wanted to give Jaheira a medal. He must have heard about what happened with Bodhi. Then, into Suldanessalar, where REAL Man set about the tough but manly work of saving the remaining civilians from rampaging golems and other baddies.

Before he'd gotten very far, though, a messenger came from Nalia's keep to tell REAL Man his presence was needed there. That is one dedicated messenger! I thought this place was invisible unless you had the Rhynn Lanthorn? Anyway, REAL Man went back to see what the problem was, and the problem was Lord Farthington. What the hell happened to this guy between Nalia's father's funeral and now, anyway? Wasn't he a sweet, doddering old man who Nalia liked a lot, who approved of the PC's appointment as keepmaster ("a fine old tradition"), and who thought Isaea was a moron? When did he turn into a domineering bastard? Poor writing, man. Well, whatever; REAL Man told him to piss off and went back to saving elves. Most of the fights in Suldanessalar were moderate difficulty level for REAL Man. The hardest was actually one of the golem fights, forcing a reload, a couple of party deaths, and a rest. The rakshasa that gave Lerrahud so much grief weren't much trouble for REAL Man's fighter-dominated party (they did kill Imoen, but she was raisable).

To build this avatar thingie, though, REAL Man is going to have to defeat a dragon. I remember the big black as being easier than Firkraag, but I'm not sure if that's just because my party's always higher-level facing the black. With trepidation, until next time...

 

I seem to remember the green dragon wasnt too bad; it was vulnerable to lots of the macho damage spells that REAL man condones. I think his testosterone-infused barbarian rage will be particularly justified here as REAL man would undoubtedly be pissed off at the dragon's entangle spell which I seem to remember it using (especially cheesy as it is a big hard dragon which isnt exactly incapable of indulging in a ruck). Perhaps REAL man could buff up in advance since the stench of heartily maturing cheddar should have diffused throughout the elf city by now.

Just a question; I know hes got to fight the Master of Red Leicester Irenicus yet, but if by some miraculous good fortune REAL man makes it to TOB/exceeds the XP cap, whats he going to do about special abilities? Whirlwind/Greater Whirlwind would be out of the question as REAL man wouldnt be seen dead pirouetting around like a screaming pansy boy. Mind you, I suppose meaty attacks like Smite and Power Strike would be OK in REAL man's book. I could be wrong, however; would even these be too cheesy for him?

Anyway, keep up the good work

[This message has been edited by Will (edited October 26, 2001).]

 

REAL Man has lost the game. *sigh*

He can't kill the black dragon. Hell, he can't even pronounce it. It wipes the floor with him. The only alternative is to surrender, give the dragon all his equipment and money, and grovel. REAL Man would rather die honorably in combat. Which is just
what he did. About eight times. RIP, REAL Man. I've had enough, and I don't think REAL Man would be able to kill Irenicus anyway.

Using no tactics, no combat preparation, no traps, pickpocketing, artifacts, enemy-disabling spells, or anything else anyone has ever demeaned as "cheesy" before, REAL Man's party was able to complete most but not all of the game, excepting about seven areas in Athkatla, five in the Underdark, and everything from the black dragon onwards. REAL Man died an 18th level barbarian, about half a level shy of the experience cap.

Thanks for everyone's support and interest regarding this experiment.
L

 

Cant you try one more time? Pretty please!
There must be something REAL Man can do! hmm well lets see. He wont run around like a sissy? Well you seem like a capable person please fix it

 

tjekanefir - My hero, uh, heroine, uh, well, you know what I mean!

Actually, after Lerrahud's experience, I was keeping my fingers crossed for REAL Man. But, I am fairly sure that you had an inkling that this would ultimately be his downfall after Firkraag. Too bad. You got a lot farther than a lot of people thought you might.

Here - a beer and a free ticket to a Swedish massage for your mouse finger.. You have played the challenge you set yourself quite wel and deserve it.

Any other self-imposed challenges in the near future?

 

RIP, Real Man. May your deeds be sung through the ages.... It was good reading, though.

 

I dunno. I'd been thinking about playing a real anti-male woman to counterbalance REAL Man, but honestly, I'm starting to run out of steam with this game, a little. There aren't many variants on the plot I haven't already found, and other than keeping Cernd's baby for herself, I don't know what exactly the new character would find to do that would be interesting.

I may just bow out and watch, for a little. I'm still kind of smarting over Wally's epic getting (accidentally) deleted...

 

What is a swedish massage? I live in sweden and have never had a swedish massage. the only massage i have had was from a 53 year old man with arms lika barrels and a beer belly after football practice.

 

"Swedish" massage is one of the schools of massage therapy. It emphasizes superficial muscle relaxation through stroking techniques. I'm sure the term swedish has more to do with some famous early practitioner than anything ethnic. Similar to the "danish" pastry, "French" toast, "english" muffin, and a bazillion other things of specious attribution.

Aloha
Vormaerin

 

Well, somehow people always seems to think that Swedsih massage includes more than just the massage...

Say no more, say no more... *nudge* *nudge*

 

damn dont tell me your dead to. now all my heroes are dieing. oh well i think ill burry you next to lerrahud