Gopher's GSCE Creative Writing

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Hmmm, after much debate, I've decided to post this in the hope that no-one laughs or copies it. I've written these poems for my GSCE English grade, (albeit at different times, not all in a week, heh). Well, here goes nothing:


The Boy Torn

Those words that were said, so heartless and cruel
They shot that poor boy, like an old worn out mule
Crushing his hopes with words of defeat
Molesting his world with a smile of defeat

You enjoyed what you got, every bloody little bit
You tore open wounds that took time to heal
Taking his confidence with the web that you knit
Never even caring what that boy would feel

Now broken and crying; he’s curled in a ball
Weeping from agony; closed to it all
Can’t understand; mind lies so dead
Mumbling thoughts; things through his head

Tearing and breaking, that’s your kinda game
Sparks they fly, when you shout out his name

Innocence taken; his life now all gone
Worn out and broken; you laugh loud and long
If only you know what he’d offered the race
But you broke that poor boy see the look on his face

It splashed on the ground, from the fear that you forced
That last sparkling tear from the pain that you caused
No sound lasts as long
Yet you still sing your song

Now broken and crying the boy passes on
No one notices gifts that have gone
Tattered from Torture, no more to share
The Boy became Torn; ‘cause no one was there


Deep in a Corner

Deep in a corner
The boy was sitting
Tears down his cheeks
Eyes not quite fitting.

Wondering if you
Did ever have a heart?
Wondering if you
Ever understood his art?

His poetic verses
Never easy to write
(Especially when he)
Sitting there at night:

Jotted down those words
That you’d never understand
You never wanted him
To ever join a band

All he ever wanted,
Was for you just to see…
That deep in that corner,
Sat a boy just like me!


Sunrise

I am chained here, shying from the night:
flailing through this darkened void,
heart so gaunt and pale.

This life so severed,
by a blackened abyss,
given away in favour
of your all-encompassing conquering,
desire, endurance;

yet I wish for
your warmth so alive.


Just another dang Vampire Wannabe

It is a night of dark desire, a song of sorrow,
wolves vent their cry. The thirsting one
rises.

Wisps of death shrouds her brooding form -
her fine-carved figure - a lurking dread.

Her ebon hair cascades over
fragile milk-white shoulders, and her
full crimson lips part slightly, to taste the
vitae streaming from the
pale flesh beneath
her collar.

Now a night of shared vitality,
I smile vaguely at my
imagined vanity marred.

Thinking the dark night,
Surely, to
be one of the silliest so far.


Feelings are Gone

Time had hit an all time low,
I thought it time for me to go.
Discarded throughout your life,
Dicing with Misery and Strife.
Reflect your Ignorance,
Defy Significance,
Feelings I don’t want to show.

Thoughts wander by your eyes,
Smirking while your lover dies.
Deceitful yearning of your soul,
Your eyes obsidian; a heart of coal.
Out of your reach,
You still pray and preach,
Searing pain from the lies.

My essence is fading from you,
The descending lulling true.
My depressing demeanor,
Running from you, more.
Hating your gut,
You sick, hacked sl*t,
I really don’t care what you do.

The angels may sing their song,
Yet my feelings for you are gone.


Right, that's it. I also have an Introduction accompanied with a 2 page Commentary/Analysis on them, which is something we had to do, and which I'm not going to post (it get's a bit personal). And before you ask; No I'm not slitting my wrists, No I don't drink blood, No i'm not wearing black nail varnish and No I haven't just been dumped.

Constructive critisism is very much appreciated, thanks. Enjoy.

 

I think they are very good, for what my view is worth.

May I ask what the theme was to the poems?

 

There was no theme. Just whatever you felt at the time. As long as they came together in a way. These are all in chronological order, and if you follow they tell a story if you like. About me.

The Analysis is Here if you wish to read it. Click Cancel if it asks for password.

[ April 07, 2003, 00:32: Message edited by: Gopher ]

 

Well written stuff Gopher.IF you have plans to publish I suggest you check the copywrite laws in your country and protect them as soon as you can.

Once it is on the net its easy for someone else to steal your ideas.

Protect you creations today.

 

Very impressive, Goph!

I like them a lot, especially the first one.

You can see that you've actually thought about these poems. They're certainly not cliché.

 

hey hun, wer reading them again cuz we love them and u and u ant bn online lately
the concert wz really gd btw, hope we tlk 2 u soon n yus copyright is a vvvvvvv gd idea!!!!
keep @ it ur a great writer
love u lots!

 

Now THAT was a random post

Gopher - Is the English GCSE hard?

 

Umm...reasonably. But if there is one piece of advice, that I could give to anyone out there taking them, it's Do Your Coursework When You Get It - And Do It Well!.

Seriously, the last thing you want to do is get to your GSCE Exams and find out that crap piece of work you did a year ago counts for 10% of your grade. I've learnt my lesson

And hell, that was random!

 

Those are cool.

 

hun thats nt random u no us! hope u do get them copyrighted soon :S email us plz? my english oral went well, u know the 1 we had 2 do in a lesson cuz the romeo n juliet didnt cover criteria (warning 2 all english students, ur teacher might say a few days b4 moderation that a piece of coursework is useless cuz of this )
gt ur txt. get online love u lots xx

 

vix+ren will you please start speaking english instead of the "txt"jibberish as all the post seem rather random and hard to understand unless you put some thought into it and i really cant be bothered thinking just now as ive done too much will studying for exams.

oh by the way, gopher very good poems.

 

Yeh we know we know, really bad habits it's not like we do it on purpose. Also very difficult to concentrate on anything except babbling to people when you've got english teachers like ours... oh gopher, please get in touch something seems like it's up and this seems to be the only place you pay attention to us?
sorry to complain
love ren xx