The battle of Sorcerer's Place (SP fantasy)

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Dalveen still beeing unconcious dreams about pink hairy elephants chasing flying him round and round the battlefield,

Luckly for Dalveen he is unconciuos in the BBBBB so no harm can come to him
..................................................
Good night fellow SP'rs, wont be on tommorrow morning cos i got my standard grade french exam which by the way im rubbish at and dont have a clue about

 

"Really?Oh well, you'redumped then!"

Sniper sticks his tongue out and looks around for something to relieve his tension

 

Mediv, seeing the dramatic sucess of Bonzo's enterprize, opens up a bar beside the large place of eating, hoping that after eating, people would like abit of drink...

 

@chevalier Did you challenge me? We shall have a duel promptly, as soon as you meet me over there. *gestures toward an arena*
Slith begins his jog to the arena of dueling.

 

Sniper walks over to Bonzo's BBBBBBand orders a burger. He eats it thoughtfully and at ease knowing he is protected...

 

Mediv summons up Lenny, the mute bartender to take over, and strolls over the Bonzos burger joint, drifting over towards Sniper..

"We still allies?"

 

The Master of Mischief is puzzled and frustrated at the undoing of all his carefully orchestrated plans. How did the pink elephant forget the love he had planted in her mind for Sephiroth? Elephants never forget.... And he should have thought to make his concoction the proper flavor, so that Chevalier would not have discerned the difference so easily. Foolish! Foolish! As for 8people, he was completely at a loss how he failed there. Undeniably, however, he was a failure. Not only that, but everyone suddenly seemed to have become more interested in talking to each other and eating food than sowing chaos. As the smallest Acolyte of Mischief knows, the less chaos exists the more difficult it is to create some. The Master slipped into a terrible depression, but avoided the urge to end his life by supplanting it with Rallymama's cookies instead.

 

In gothmog's glade of neutrality Apeman woke up to the sounds of his own druidic mental answering machine. Apeman had slept for over 2 days now and was feeling absolutely.......swamped.
He checked to see how many messages he had since he went sleeping.

"You have 134 new messages"

"What!! was I away that long, this kind of thing hadn't happened since the one word story"

"play messages"

After hours and hours Apeman was completely up to date/posts. It seems there had been an extreme case of high level magic spells that were completely unbelieveble, evil doers and good doers that were killing themselves in the most excruviating ways.

"there is only one solution. I shall make the battle of supremacy a bit more interesting" Apeman said to his familiar, the notorious faerie dragon called Apeman Jr.

In the mean time the combatants in the arena were either at BBBBBBB or killing the others with weapons that were.....well.....interesting to say in the least

Suddenly all the combatants froze when they heard a great rumbling in the middle of the arena. It was coming from the invisibility sphere which everyone seemed to have forgotten about. With all the fighters attention to the sphere, it happened.

In the sphere great vines with huge unclimmable thorns were shooting from the earth growing in what it seems the shape of a great tower. On top was the vision of a man who everyone thought lost, but he wasn't and he is back now to stay for good (except friday night when it's matrix reloaded time).

When the vines stopped growing and had formed a tower that stood from the ground at least a hundred feat in the air, Apeman begun his spell, he waved arcane symbols in the air while he was singing tunes that were mystical yet comfortable. All the people down the arena became mesmarized with it. But they found out the truth too late, Apeman finished his spell and the arena slowly filled with a green light that was so bright not a single person could remain with his/hers eyes open (not even the ones with sunglasses )

The green light slowly went from the bottom of the arena to the top where it stayed.
Slowly the eyes off all the combatants opened and realized something had drastically changed, they saw the green light above them hovering omniously (sp?) and all their great weapons of sillyniss were gone. Instead there stood on opposite ends of the arena two weapon racks with all the normal weapons ever created.

Apeman meanwhile had stepped up to his favourite restaurant, the BBBBBB, and ordered some burgers.

<now let them fight it out, in a completely honest way> he send to Lazy Bonzo his ally from days past.

The people in the arena slowly realized what happened. That was further complimented by the fall of Taluntain's tower which was completely made out of magic.

From BBBBBB a faint 'oops' could be heard

Apeman casted a giant Anti-magic shell which will last for at least 2 days.

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Of char: O.K people I read through all the posts since I was gone and I realized this story needed a little realism, so I created this. I hope you're happy with it and that it at least will stay until the duration of the spell, so that will be friday morning. So lets make up some real battle with real weapons and lets create some great comical ways to do it without weapons like two handed hacking sword: that will slay all good forces that come within a hundred feet of the sword

 

Sniper turns to Dalveen and smiles

"Indeed we are as far as I'm aware but i think the alliance forged with 8people is well ... it seems that she and I are still enemies ..."

 

OOC: NO I AM NOT HAPPY WITH THAT! THIS IS THE THIRD ****ING TIME MY WEAPON IS DESTROYED. HOW CAN I BE HAPPY WITH THAT?!?!?!?!


Alexander the Great seeing that his weapon is destroyed again goes to the weapon rack to gear up. He picks up a masterwork warhammer, a masterwork heavy mace, a masterwork longsword, a masterwork repeating heavy crossbow(it's not magical), a masterwork chain mail, a masterwork helmet and a masterwork large shield.

Tired of this battle, Alexander the Great, opens a very luxurious hotel with 6000 suits(sp?), 10 very large swimming pools and 50 portals that lead to the most beautiful beaches of the world(tropical, mediterenean etc -- there's planty room for everyone) for the exhausted combatants.
He cast all the protective spells under the sun on his hotel so that no-one can harm it(and no, the spells cannot be dispelled).

"Do not worry about the price: it's only 40 GP per night! With an extra 30 GP you can have access to all of our facilities: swimming pools, tennis-football-basketball and many other courts, the best beaches on the whole planet (and not only) and last but not least 30 MASSAGE PARLOURS WITH BEAUTIFUL MASSEURS!(or big, fat, hairy, old men if you prefer )"

 

Every paladin's detect evil ability goes off as they spot Shura making his way to the battlefield.

" Quick! Cast the Abi-Dalzim's Teenage Angst-Breaker spell that works against those 'dark hero' wannabes!" Yerril shouted. They cast the spell...to no effect.

" I'm no teenager, foolish paladins!" Shura said, drawing his katana and wakizashi and looming over the cowering paladins so that they trembled and shook in the imposing shadow he cast. " It may work on Eze or even Sniper but I am a true entity of darkness! And now...I shall proceed to slaughter you all in an overly descriptive scene of violence as I have done so numerous times!"

" AHH! JEBUS SAVE US!" One of them cried in a high pitched voice, urine flowing from his chainmail leggings.

" THE TOWER STAIRS ARE UNMOPPED." A mighty voice rang out over the battlefield. Shura grumbled and sheathed his blades, picking up his mop and empty bucket. The swordsman walked over to a well and filled his bucket, before making his way back to Tal's tower to finish up his chores.

No one messes with the cleanliness of the Sorcerer's Place. Ever.

 

8people looks at Shura
"Does swordsmanship improve ones mopping skills?" Smiling she drifts away.

 

Back at the BBBBBBBBBBBB, Rallymama raises a toast to Apeman and buys a round of drinks. But then she notices that Tal's tower is starting to crumble! She dashes across the battlefield and hangs an embroidered sampler that says, "Home is where there sleeps a 20-Gig hard drive and a Cisco router" on the wall, which stops the deterioration. The tower is still listing a bit to starboard, though.

 

Shura sighed as he labored back towards his chores.

OOC: look back to my first post in this topic for further relevance. Page3, I think...

" Hopefully not, so by the time I'm done with my chores the battle for SP will be over and I will not have another utterly bloody and visceral fight scene with those paladins that always seem to end up getting chopped into small little pieces by me." The swordsman ranted. " How the hell do you hold a sword if you're busy praying? Those shiny-armored folk need to go back to the fighter's academy grade 1 for a complete re-education and a strict dean to make sure that those fools from the religious clubs come nowhere near the young, impressionable fighters!"

" Anyway, Tal is gonna get pissed if I don't return to work soon. Bah."

 

And it shall be forever known as the "slightly starboard hanging tower of sorcerers place" Apeman said while downing some of Bonzo's famous damage absorbing hotdogs.

<allies rallymama?, together with bonzo noone can stop us>

 

Alexander the Great hires 20 people to distribute leaflets advertising his hotel known as "The Paradise for Combatants Hotel". He wonders:"Why no-one comes here? This is the best hotel. Maybe I should lower the prices to 30 GP per night."

 

<Absolutely, Apeman! We must strive to achieve Balance!>

 

As pleasurable as Yerril's sojourn atop the pole has been, the mighty Skald feels it is time to return to earth, especially since his beloved Longsword of Ass-Kickin' evaporated at the hands of Apeman's spell.

He accepts 8people's offer of alliance (in the hope of getting some action) and she helps him down from his vertigo-inducing situation.

He grabs an adamantite longsword from the rack, and checks that he still has the jar containing Sniper's buttocks. It remains in his Wallet of All Kinds of Sheeyat, and Yerril grins to himself as he pictures Sniper's next visit to the lavatory.

To 8people, his new ally, he sends a Nightingale, hand-trained to deliver messages. The little bird lands atop her outstretched finger, swells its tiny breast, and opens its mouth to sing...

"Oi! You better not be too evil! Yerril don't like evil!"

Matters seemingly dealt with, Yerril casts Increase Shares on Bonzo, and watches in amusement as the shopkeeper suddenly becomes the owner of 100 billion dollars worth of shares.

The Skald raises his Shades of Farseeing, and focuses on Shura, slowly mopping Tal's stairs. He twiddles his fingers, and casts a home-made version of the Angst-Breaker. He likes to call it Abi-Dalzim's Mop-Breaker. Shura's cry of rage can be heard for miles around.

 

<good then, we shall make BBBBBB our headquarters from where we shall retain balance in the form of arse-kicking the very good and very evil>

Apeman buys Rallymama some hotdogs of damage absorption.

 

Alexander the Great rests in his hotel being "massaged" by the beautiful masseurs.
But he decides to take a more active role in this battle and picks up his equipment.