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Another dark poem

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Lokken, Feb 29, 2004.

  1. Lokken Gems: 26/31
    Latest gem: Diamond

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    Remove all ads!
    ..even though there seem enough to go around ;)


    Goodbye

    Into the abyss once more I stare
    Elusive answers I always seek
    Why, why, why does life torture me so
    Display that which I may never keep
    A small step and it would all away
    Fade to black as down I'd fall and fall
    I look behind, no reasons to stay
    Jump out and whisper goodbye to all..


    Hopefully I'll never have to go there, even though I've gazed into the abyss a few times. Though I suppose most have at some points in their lives.

    edit:

    and another one

    Vanity
    In clear night for stars I reach
    They smile and dance from my grasp
    As fair dreams they me besiege
    Poisonous as cruel vile asps
    As boy, as man, as cripple
    Ever I gazed upon you
    Desire as man a nipple
    These hopes in vain I pursue
    Why can I not let them go?
    A hope on my life bestow.

    [ February 29, 2004, 23:41: Message edited by: Lokken ]
     
    Lokken, Feb 29, 2004
    #1
  2. chevalier

    chevalier Knight of Everfull Chalice ★ SPS Account Holder Veteran

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    Nice pieces. Good technique. Flows without much disturbance. Fine read.

    De profundis clamavi... ;)
     
    chevalier, Mar 1, 2004
    #2

  3. The_Apprentice Gems: 2/31
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    I like the first one. It's dark and cruel, as I believe the best poetry is.

    Very nice
     
    The_Apprentice, Mar 1, 2004
    #3

  4. SleepleSS Gems: 24/31
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    [​IMG] I really like the second one :) I guess it's about time that I come up with a new poem ;) . Just sit back and wait :)
     
    SleepleSS, Mar 2, 2004
    #4

  5. Uytuun Gems: 25/31
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    Lovely, both of them.
     
    Uytuun, Mar 5, 2004
    #5

  6. Lokken Gems: 26/31
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    thanks all :)

    here's another one, no title yet though

    In the wilds of the world I walk
    Stumple upon her fair and frail
    A flower so bright and pretty
    She's a new dawn upon my vale
    The rivers of life she restore
    Let this moment eternal be
    Something so fair my world enchant
    No wrongs anywhere I could see

    Next to her I sit and behold
    The beaty of her in blossom
    No comparison I can give
    To the love I felt so awesome
    Yet time pass and darkness beckon
    A new dawn, clear my eyes now see
    To my despair that gone she be
    Nevermore shall I feel loves glee
     
    Lokken, Mar 6, 2004
    #6
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