POLL: Monogamy

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Do you think women and men are naturally monogamous?

Poll Information
This poll contains 2 question(s). 34 user(s) have voted.
You may not view the results of this poll without voting.

Poll Results: Monogamy (34 votes.)

Do you feel men are naturally monogamous? (Choose 1)
* Yes - 9% (3)
* No - 74% (25)
* No opinion - 18% (6)

Do you feel women are naturally monogamous? (Choose 1)
* Yes - 35% (12)
* No - 50% (17)
* No opinion - 15% (5)

 

I thought monogamy was a wood! *flicks through dictionary* oh mahogany! oh yeah Monogamy *flicks* if they are moral, yes

 

Interesting topic as I just read an article in the paper about how the birds and the bees are not as monogomous as scientist had originally thought: particularly the females!!!

Monogomy is definitely *not* a natural state of being, but a moral choice, and women have just as much of an appetite as men!

 

They can be, if they want. I don't care, as I don't have any room for sex in my future.

Eze realizes, that she has said THE WORD

 

"Monogomy is definitely *not* a natural state of being, but a moral choice"

No.

Scara, I'd disagree with you on that one. There are guys that would rather learn all they can about one female.

Now, there very well might be a point at where they would want to bring someone else into the relationship.

But, I wouldn't call it strictly a moral choice. For some, yes. For others, no.

But yes, the birds are having a lot of sex, with a lot of different partners. So are the wolves. Catholics and Puritans get away with slewing the biology books around for a while, but it eventually gets back around to shooting them down.

 

I think that, biologically speaking, people are polyamorous, but morally speaking, and for the sake of stable societies, monogamy is the best option. I've seen documentaries where even non-religious researchers have analyzed the evidence and concluded that monogamy is healthier for a society.

 

ej: I am not convinced by your words that they imply monogamy is a natural state. Wanting to know one woman is more a result of love, and how attentive one is maintaining that love.

In my mind if a person is in a monogamous relationship and they experience even once a physical desire for another person, it demonstrates that monogomy is not a natural state. If it were, why would anyone feel any sexual desire for another?

 

"In my mind if a person is in a monogamous relationship and they experience even once a physical desire for another person"

Hmmmmm.

Maybe so. Maybe so.

 

BZZZT - Wrong!

Yes, monogomy is NOT a natural state of being, but it is most certainly NOT a moral choice.

Monogamy is a decision forced upon us by culture, a culture that TELLS us that it is a moral choice when it is most certainly not. If it were a moral choice, than there would probably be a lot less separation/divorce/annulment/extreme domestic violence in the world today. (note my uses of the words "probably" and "extreme" - you cannot account for all cases, unfortunately.)

Anyways - where was I, oh yeah - a forced way of life dicated by a culture (actually many cultures) that somewhere along the line got the stupid idea that "romantic love" and a shared life together mean the same thing. Don't get me wrong, I believe in love, but I cannot make love the sole reason for my wanting to share space and resources with a female of the species. It should be one of many reasons.

Monogamy is a nice idea, and we all wish it was actually the true natural state of our species. It is not, but unfortunately we really don't have much of a choice anyways, if we are to live in society (which we must, to survive).

 

There is a theory that says that males are polygamous because it was inherited from our primal ancestors that had the biological need to propagate the species.

It is interesting to note that only female humans and few other mammalian females find sex enjoyable. On the other hand, most if not all males enjoy sex. This would encourage the males to have lots of sex.

Well, whatever the reason, ladies do not give up on men or sex. Maybe you haven't found the right one yet. Besides, you are depriving yourselves of what most females can never enjoy.

 

Women have had a social need for stability throughout the history of man, they did need someone to take care of them and their children while the men practically speaking were done after the insemination so to speak. But I still voted that men are monogamous and females arent, that is mostly based on what I have seen during my life in my surroundings. I have this idea that women are more passionate and impulsive while men are colder but more loyal. But I do think it is a case to case basis. And by monogamy I dont really mean one life long relation but rather long stable relations. Someone is monogamous if they have a few serious long relations in their life imo.

 

You ever see a tea set with just a tea pot and a tea cup? Simple fact, a tea pot can serve several tea cups at a time.

 

Human beings are not monogamous. And if i'm not mistaken we're also the only creatures that have sex for pleasure.

 

[rant] How much of that statement is a myth fostered by men who need a reason to hang around?! Hate to break it to you, but women don't need anywhere near as much "taking care of" as men like to think. [/rant]

In today's society, monogamy is simply easier. Who has time to establish relationships with multiple partners? Who wants to waste time with a partner who doesn't meet all one's needs?

AFAIK, there are many examples of animals who mate for life (swans, for one), and dolphins also have sex for pleasure.

[ February 25, 2003, 03:37: Message edited by: Rallymama ]

 

"AFAIK, there are many examples of animals who mate for life (swans, for one), and dolphins also have sex for pleasure"

The swan thing is up in the air. Like a basketball.

Dolphins aren't the only ones. There are primates (I forget the species) that just don't have *any* predators around. For a couple thousand years. And now they spend 80% of their time on the ground. Even the males have sex; they kind of "swordfight" (I did not come up with this description, so don't bother flaming me for it). And the females rub their stuff together, for fun. Obviously.

But, out of this entire thread, we call all pull one single thing out.

Sex causes a lot of problems. And, many more times than not, it's a lack of sex causing the problems. Not a surplus.

 

Generally speaking creatures are not monogamous by nature, when you vow to be only with the one person for your life you are displaying a massive sacrifice for them, at least I suspect that was the point. It should be based on personal preference and no forced on us by society. As for the first question, everything is on a case by case basis in this world though genetically we are not predisposed to monogamy.

 

Very true. I for one have been and will be monogamous. I have been with only one woman and I married her. That's the way I intend to be.
There are a lot more animals that have sex for pleasure than those you guys listed. The thing is, in the animal world, everything is based soly on sex. You can jusitfy every behavior an animal exhibits based on sex.
For example. Take a pride of lions. The female lions are the ones who hunt. They maintain the group. The male lions spends more time during the day sleeping than the females. The females hunt, bring the food back, and the male liion gets first dibs on the food. So whay do they let him hang around? The males provide protection. By doing so the females stay alive and are able to reproduce. Everything the female lion does is in some way related to reproducing with the male lion.
There's a lot more to this. My wife did a lectur based on this for many years to a phsycology class at a University.
There is a great book "Battle of the Sexes" by John Sparks that talks about this. Very good book.

 

A mother with an infant living in a cave is rather dependant on someone going out and get some food dont you think? If you have read most topics here on SP you should know my stance when it comes to gender issues so I will not spell it out to you.
But it is a sociological fact that atleast back in the day the women were interested in atleast keeping their mate around for as long as the child was totally dependent. Damn hard to bring down a mammuth if you have a baby dangling from your teat.

 

As far as the "sex for pleasure" issue, I think the more pertinent comment is that humans are the only creatures that do not have sex for the purpose of procreation. Every other female creature on earth is filled with the desire to have babies. Happy flaming.

 

@Elios: A question for your wife - If a pride of female lions is capable of roaming the plains and hunting for all the food, just what is it the males are protecting them from? Seriously, I'm curious.

@Capstone: No flaming necessary. All you've done is provided proof that female homo sapiens really are more highly evolved than females of other species!

@Joacquin: There haven't been any serious gender-oriented threads since I joined SP and I don't have time to peruse the archives, so I don't know your stance on such matters. If you care to explain, my friend, I'll read with an open mind.

I grant you that hunting a mammoth while nursing would be a bit of a challenge. But who was it who gathered - and later cultivated - the foods that sustained the tribes between hunts? Who helped to process the meat the hunters brought back? I'm sure no one in the tribe could afford the luxury of a long post-natal convalescence.

Actually, there's a growing trend towards modern parents "wearing" their newborns in sling-type carriers. The theory is that the infants are easier to calm because they're more in touch with the rhythm of the mother's (usually but not exclusively) life and daily activities. Also, a sling allows the child to nurse at will, without significant participation from the mother. If this method was used by primitive mothers - and that seems more likely to me than leaving the child alone in the cave - nursing wouldn't be much of an excuse for low productivity, either. Personally, some of the things I was able to accomplish while nursing are cooking dinner, job-hunting, and taking notes at a graduate-level class.

Please note that I'm NOT trying to say that women are in any way superior to men. Each gender has its strengths and weaknesses, and between them the human race will take care of itself.

[ February 26, 2003, 03:48: Message edited by: Rallymama ]