Serious talk about a neglected matter

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WHATS HAPPENED TO LOVE?

I find it unbelievable today, to truly love someone who wont honestly take your heart and throw it in a bloody blender(line of steel dragon)

a few weeks ago i was yer average jo, i had goo grades, good academical options, and at least 77 years of life ahead of me, when my g/f, who i love so deeply, just decided it would be fun to ignore me, its ripping me apart inside, and i just dont understand it, but I've fallen head over heels for her and theres nothing i can do to make her notice me(unless i graffiti it all over the school)... somebody please explain to me why she would take my heart and ripe it to pieces like this...

And thats not all, i turn on the radio, songs about hatred/sadness/violence/mistrust etc, it seems i am not the only one in this possition...

I put on the TV, i see wars, disaster, scams, murder all for small prices, money, for a little bit of money i see so many things, death, fraud, war etc...

I just look around me and i see so many people with torn hearts, so many people with anger and hatred...whats happening...

Is it honestly possible to love in these times? Truly, with all of these things? Somebody please help me, i feel like theres no point to go on trying, I mean somebody is killing me and hey know it, and other people are killing each other for crums, where is the love?

 

I know how you feel..i had the same thing happen to me before. Yes it is possible, the girl im with now is incredible. It may be rare, but it is possible. Just think though, if you go out with someone you dont really like, you could be making them feel the same way your g/f is making you feel.

 

I dont think you understand, i am madly in love with her, i climbed a 10ft wall onto her balcony to convince her to go out with me(nearly broke my neck) and after a while i fell more and more in love like an addict on drugs and she too loved me, but now she just ignored me, acts like I'm invisible, doesn't notice me, but i can feel her pain, her anger i know she feels the same way as me but she wont tell me why

I feel like dying and she wont tell me why she wont talk to me.....
I am one really sad individual

 

If she's acting like this, why do you still want to be with her? If she truly loves you, then she won't ever let you feel so terrible. Try talking with her about it.

I have managed to find a sweet caring girl, so I know it's possible to find true love despite all that is going on around us.

 

Oh, i understand..and /agree rastor..if she really loved you why would she treat you like that?

 

I don't want to make you feel worse but how can't you see the logic in that? If she tell you, she will talk to you.
Secondly you are (i assume) way too young, to feel devastated by a girl. I know it feels lousy right now but making an a** out of yourself does not help you or the situation you are dealing with. If she ignores you, ignore her. It is the old trick of sticking. The more you spit on a post stamp the better it sticks. Just a suggestion

 

Redemtion, I think it’s probably time to get over her. The fact that you practically had to beg her to go out with you in the first place isn’t a good sign. You say she loved you, but perhaps she felt differently and you were misinterpreting her behaviour. Her current treatment of you tells me that it’s probably over. Time to move on; you’ll get over it eventually.

[ February 05, 2004, 23:56: Message edited by: Taluntain ]

 

Wait till you are a little older... Eventually you realize that being dumped by a girl means fresh and interesting conversations with a new girl, fresh and interesting shared interests, and unless your ex was a contortionist or star for Vivid Entertainment, fresh and new horizontal dance moves.

Seriously dude, being dumped can be the best thing that ever happened to you. Sure it hurts now, but you have an entire lifetime to slowly repay the female race for the temerity they display in not submitting to you. Well, I suppose the pain could lead to personal growth as well...I suppose...

 

Some people just say it better.

 

Ignoring is a way of cowards to end a relationship. It is also a way of women to attract attention. You went on about grades and prospects for the future for a long time, perhaps she's feeling neglected or forgotten. Maybe she wants to show you she's not only there to go out with you, in quite an immature way. She's young, I bet?

That would explain why she appears to feel the same you feel still, even if ignoring you.

It is also possible she needs time to think, or needs to be alone.

At any rate, this likely means a second guy in the story. Not like she's necessarily helping it, perhaps she's having a dilemma. At least that's what it looks like when it comes to a brand new guy showing up when a girl gets a steady boyfriend.

Sometimes, the more adoration they get, the more they want. If they're mature enough, they play the game without inflicting long-lasting critical wounds.

If speaking of true love, yes. But one hardly ever sees true love around. She may think she's saving him some greater pain by inflicting this one. If she's doing that for her own goals though, then you're very right.

Redemtion, don't cross people out too easily. Give her chance. And another one. If she doesn't get the idea, be clear about it. One way or the other. Tertium non datur.

It's impossible to tell much, knowing only so much as you write. Have you caught her lying, cheating, blurring the truth or similar? If she's been dishonest already, then that's some sort of game.

================
CHEVALIER

"This is not a game I will play with you"
================

Let someone else be the pawn of the mighty Queen. Leave her alone and you'll soon see how really mighty she is. Almost always works.

But you must be stern and stalwart if you choose this path. Gentle, but not conceding. Don't destroy what she once loved you for. Don't destroy what you are. There are some things that aren't to be done, no matter what.

Long time ago I was in a situation similar to yours. She was immediately before immortals on the ladder of beings. Despite obvious ekhm... character issues like complete lack of any credibility. And despite treating me like homework supply that had better not come close if people watching. Two years of hitting on, two months of her deciding, two weeks of being together. And it was I who broke up. Never regretted for a single second. What I learn about that at that time and shortly after (which isn't anything that should be repeated), has made my will adamant for all such cases once and for all.

The wheel of fortune turned and I got my moment of poetic justice.

 

Just drop her like a bad habit. She obviously does not care, nor is the person you believe she is to be.

It hurts. That's life. Most people walk through life attempting to ignore reality. Don't. Live your life. You do not have to have someone to be complete.

 

Everybody here is right, but I know that when I was a teenager, I would never have been able to see the truth in all this wisdom. So I don't know how much help we've all been.

 

Forget love at your age, this part of your life is best spent going through as many different girls as you can. Don’t get so involved with anyone, leave that for when you’re 30+.

 

Why wait until 30+??

Then you end up wasting the best years of your life with a bunch of cheap floozies.

Hmmmmmm.

 

1) The numbers in my profile arent my age, i never say my real age but i can tell you one thing I'm 15+
2)Somebody who you have gone out with for 4+ years wonbt just drop you because she feels ignored.

I still dont get this....but thanks for the help....

 

The real secret is this:

None of us really understand women. They are strange and mysterious beasts

And that is a fact.

All I know, is that if a woman doesn't treat you with the respect you deserve then she isn't worth your time. In the same way that a women wouldn't stay with you if you didn't respect her.

There are LOADS of fantastic women out there, truly fantastic women (more than you'll ever get a chance to meet in your whole life). Therefore, you don't need to waste your time with the ones who jerk you around.

 

I'll try to be of some help here, although I don't know if I will be. I dated a girl for about 4 years, and we got engaged. She broke up suddenly with me, and never really has been able to explain why. She didn't even say much when she gave the engagement ring back. I was about 23 at the time. I was in a bad way for quite a while after that. People do things to try to cheer you up, but it won't help until a significant amount of time passes. For me, that was about one year. I had no interest in dating or getting ivolved in anyone for about a year after that. After that year, I did start dating again, but didn't get involved seriously with anyone. Then when I was 27, I met the woman who is now my wife. So, what I'm trying to say is you will likely love again, although that isn't likely to happen any time soon. Hang out with friends and try to enjoy yourself a bit, if for no other reason to get your mind off of her for a minute here, and a minute there. There's nothing you can really do to speed up getting over her. It might take a few months, or a few years, it's impossible to tell. Just hang in there for now.

 

With your permission, Sarevok-. A slight correction. Don't get involved until you really meet the right person. And you'll know. I can say up to this moment I have always neglected signs of the contrary. Try to preserve common sense when acting on emotions. Try not to overlook the bad things, but not to exaggerate them. Not to make them idols almost to worship, but hold them to human standards at the same time.

Aldeth, I have a feeling that your late fiancee broke up with you as a result of no-involving-until-very-late attitude. Perhaps she lost any interest in getting even more steady because of that reasons. Independence, non-commitment, not owing anything to anyone, being one's own sole boss. Or maybe she had always known you weren't the right person but it was so nice to be with you, so far as possible. Maybe I'm mistaken, but that's where my experience hints.

Understanding women:

Understanding what they want

Understanding how they think

Redemtion, it is possible she has realised she isn't going always to be with you. Perhaps for that reason she's decided to cuth this before things go too far. Reality sucking as always and truth being hard to bear, it's still better for both of you for her to leave if she loves you no more. You're young, you can both move on to the next one. It is important not to think ill of each other. Don't add to the pain. It's no one's fault. You have spent some life together, did some things, shared some thoughts, knew one another better than anyone... Don't destroy that. And don't burn the bridges as we say here You never know what the future will bring.

@Harbourboy:

Agreed. This has nothing to do with being hard to get. One can be hard to get (or keep) but still showing proper respect to other people.

You have no idea... I'm very much prone to claim the contrary.

Redemtion, Harbourboy is right when he says there are loads of fantastic women out there. I know this sound like a cheap and tattered slogan, but look around and you'll see some. Perhaps a few think of you before they go to bed. The trouble is to know which ones Eh, maybe just let your current one go her own way, get some rest and let them now put some work in it?

[ February 07, 2004, 04:02: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

What if said lady IS already treating Mr. Redemtion with the respect he deserves?

Have any of you considered that possibility?

 

He's being given advice in a specific situation as he outlines it. Whatever advice he gets is as useful as the outline accurate. Ignoring of the kind he describes is disrespect, therefore the remaining possibility is that he deserves to be treated as she does. However, she fails to provide any reason, and is not really willing to talk about it either, which practically excludes such a possibility. No judgement, just simple inference.