Relationship Rant thread

Remove all ads!

Chevm, everyone knows you are the nexrt Pope so whatever you are looking for doesn't count

 

@Arabwel:
Too ****ing true. In relationships I'm usually the 'gentleman' who encourages the girl to go with her heart. It never works out quite like the movies, but at least I can look at myself in the mirror come morning.

@kuemper:
The Flockhart/Anderson splicing might be nice for some to look at when they're in the mood, but for the other 20-some hours of the day it'd just look ridiculous. Not to mention the constant stream of medical bills; can you imagine how bad her back problems would be with a setup like that?

Face, voice, and personality are what stay from moment to moment. Lust is nothing to build a relationship on.

 

Yes, it's an extreme and it seems to have made my point with other people reading this. I suppose I should've specifically targeted my comment at Kelvon, but a general splash can work just as well. As a woman with weight issues, his comment stirred my ire and I decided to logically point out the contradiction of his post.

If not lust as an attractant, then what calls two people together? I like what I see in my husband (physical appearance) and if I hadn't found him 'easy on the eyes', I don't think I would've taken the time to get to know him better.

@Fel - I have/can imagine the back problems, yessir!

 

@kuemper:
That's where face and voice come in. Though with the internet and such you can get personality first under some circumstances.

 

ight i got a question for you guys, hopefully some of your advice will help because i cant seem to make up my damn mind.

i found out a couple of days ago from a friend that "supposedly' my gf had been seen holding hands with one of her ex's...a guy ive hated for years, long before this relationship started.

so i asked her about it, and as expected she blew up saying she didnt do it, and that even if she had it was none of my business to spy on her etc.

well after that i called a few friends and all of them confirmed what i was told earlier...and then i had a girl friend of mine ask the guy what was up(id kill him so i couldnt) and he hinted strongly that they have had sex since we started dating 6 months ago...

just wonderin what u guys think i should do

 

Of course the bad guy would say he slept with your girlfriend; it's the ultimate f*** you whether it's true or not. But this:

sounds a little too defensive to be true. Typical addition from an innocent is more along the lines of "how could you think I would do that to you?", but there are many exceptions for anything involving relationships so I can't say for sure.

The real question you should be asking is "Do I think she did it?" If the answer is yes, you'll never trust her again anyway and it doesn't really matter whether she did it or not. (While this may not seem fair to the other party if they really were faithful, it would be even more unfair to continue the relationship under a cloud of suspicion.) If the answer is no, simply continue in good faith unless and until you're given reason to think otherwise.

 

They are still around Ara, believe me.

 

Great, if you have one to spare, please send him my way....

*mumbles about inconsiderate jerks*

 

I agree, the gentelman get's nowhere(I should know). Girls always go for the scroundel and then regret it when he turns out to be a jerk. Whatever, I'll stick to being a nice guy. Not going to abbandon my principles just because I'm feeling lonely sometimes. Then of course I just lose myself in a 700 page book or write something and suddenly I'm to bussy to notice anything else.

As for the thing about guys thinking only about good looking girls, I think it has to do with the fact that us men DON"T use the brain in our head (at least not when it comes to women) but the .... other one.

@Chev Met some collegues recently and among them was the girl I've been ranting about all year. I didn't mention her moron b/f but as far as I could tell she was ok. I didn't notice any weird behavior(I think that's how you spell it), unlyke the stuff another colleague told me.

 

yea well ive found out a number of times that being a nice guy gets me nowhere =/ just seems so damn useless....back to reading i guess

 

@LG: Ever heard of the Norrington-Turner issue?

As for the two brains, well... guys do tend to be attracted to women with a poor sense of conduct more than to others. A girl who wears more revealing clothes or who presents herself as easily accessible will inevitably attract more attention. But this is because men are lazy. I don't think there is a generic bad girl appeal.

As a guy, I can say I'm not attracted by lax conduct (especially anything done with strangers or more than one person at a time), lying, dark secrets, rampant libido etc. But I have seen guys who are.

Good to hear the girl is all right. Wonder what made her fall for that guy. Perhaps the thrill of danger. Or the roguish aura. Or his dark, alluring mysteries. Or uncertainty. Kill me if I know why women get attracted to such things.

[ September 09, 2005, 01:33: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

I dispute the concept that nice guys don't get the girl. I like to think that I'm a reasonably nice guy and so are most of my friends and we're all happily married. That counts as 'getting the girl' in my books.

 

@kuemper

Just one comment: I DO find a difference between weight and chubbiness (width). No more on this issue from me.

 

@Chev Norrington-Turner issue? What's that?

 

@LG: Watch Pirates of the Caribbean.

(although to make it more stereotypically relevant - since Will is far from a proper "bad boy" - calling it Sparrow-Norrington issue might be more relevant. or something. *shrug*)

 

actually, imo neither Norrington-Turner or Sparrow-Norrington can be classified as "bad boy vs. good boy" stereotypes. in the case of the latter because sparrow wasn't a romantic interest anyways. in the case of the former, it's that they were both good guys and norrington was even the more "logical" choice, it's just that she was in love with turner. exact same case as in sweet home alabama.

 

What on earth have the last three posts been about?

 

About the classic bad guy/good guy struggle. Norrington was the good guy made to look somewhat like a bad guy, while Turner was a bad guy that was made to look like a good one. Sort of. The idea is that a Sparrow or a Turner will always be chosen ahead of a Norrington.

 

If you'd fancy an experiment, go here and take the test. It will do its best to adscribe a relationship-wise category to you in a variety of combinations (Random vs Deliberate, Brutal vs Gentle, Sex vs Love, Master vs Dreamer). There is no single iconic good girl and all types of females get some advice as to what type of man to consider, as do males. But when you look on the list of male types, you will notice the iconic good guy right away because it's straight on the top. He does get some hints as to whom to chase and whom to avoid, but look at the female profiles again. From the top to the bottom. There is one or two profile told to avoid the Slow Dancer (Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer) but show me a single female profile advised to consider him. This explains things.

 

Or TUrner was a good guy pretending to be bad one.

*sigh*

Age differences suck. Like woah.