You know you've played too many CRPGs when...

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You call a friend a Lawful Evil Thief when he cheats you at Poker.

When going on a hike in the mountains, you expect to run into Drizzt and the gang.

And, my all time favourite:

You expect the bartender to tell you he ain't serving you another drop cause you're splashed.

 

And you expect the bartender to tell you a rumor when you buy your drink...

 

When you see the latest movie of harry potter, waiting what he learn the Fireball spell. Stupid Harry!

Before you will go to a date, you go to the super, waiting buy a Eagle`s Splendor Potion, or a Friends scroll.

 

LMAO, true story...

When you are eating at a chinese restaurant and laugh at your brother because he sucks at using chopsticks, and say "hah noob, your dex modifier isn't high enough. You should probably put some ranks in the skill 'use chopsticks'. Or would it be a feat and be a weapon proficiency?"

You then ponder all day whether or not the use of chopsticks would be a skill or a feat.

 

When you lose at darts, you blame it on using Darts -1.

 

When your wife comes into the computer room in sexy lingerie and you'd rather finish a lovetalk with a BG2 character than with her.

 

You read:

And say outloud, "Actually, it would be a Sleight of Hand check."

*whips out PHB*

Because using chopsticks would fall under 'perform some feat of legerdemain with an object no larger than a loaf of bread'. And chopsticks would be considered light weapons when dealing with the Weapon Finesse and Two Weapon Fighting feats.

 

WHich then begs the question:

Can you sharpen them, and use them to backstab, and do you get bonuses for fighting vampires?

 

Yes for the backstab/sneak attack. As for vamps, only Chinese ones.

 

/me can't resist the lure

In 2e, as a Non-Weapon Proficiency, I think perhaps it might fall under Etiquette. But that requires a CHA check, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Perhaps a DM-modified Etiquette (Oriental), which requires a DEX check instead; there's enough justification for it.

As for using them as weapons, I believe they could be easily lumped in with needles as a wooden variety. Not worth taking a Weapon Proficiency for since they only do 1 damage. Using your fists at least qualifies you for 1-2. And if you intend them as a poison delivery system, blowgun is a much handier proficiency (not to mention less risky to use needles with).

 

When you try to convince your girlfriend to paint herself blue and dye her hair white.

When you always have some CRPG battle music on the MP3 player in case something tense/dramatic happens.

When you buy a very very expensive but beautifully well made fantasy sword so you can feel like a Blackguard.

When you blame a scathing remark on your Lawful Evil alignment.

When you carry a little book around with you to jot notes down about everything that happens in the day, most of them don't receive conclusion.

When you give a pound/dollar to every beggar in the street in hope that a member of your party will initiate a good banter.

When you run from the police shouting "I'm wearing boots of escaping!"

 

Okay, y'all have probably heard of OoTS, but how about:

Commissioned?

http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php?date=2005-07-06

http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php?date=2005-08-01

http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php?date=2005-08-24

http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php?date=2005-09-03

http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php?date=2005-09-17

They're not strictly COMPUTER RPGs, but still...

 

Why would you want to date a smurf?

 

OH OH OH!

True Story, and also freaking hilarious:

Scenario:

Theatre department in College. A play is over, and there are toy swords around. Not resisting the urge, I toss one of them at a friend, and say, "En garde! Can't touch a Grandmaster in Short Swords AND Single Weapon Fighting! Come on then, try and get me!"

Of course, after all that and standing at the ready, he just looked at me and said, "Ummm...are you ok?"

After rambling something about him being a monkey (only because he DOES look like a monkey ), I just said forget it, told him he was lucky that magic missiles weren't real, then sat down and sulked.

Of course...>_> by then, everyone looked at me funny, then clapped, thinking I was acting!

 

Arabwel, I have a thing for Smurfs

I've always seen Drow as blue...

 

What if you have pictures of your girlfriend with perfectly natural looking pointy ears?

 

Then you've played way too many Crpgs. XD

 

My hubby is a hobbit...or halfling, depending on the game genre.

 

You are talking with somebody, then when you feel like the conversation is about end, you click on end dialogue...or think you should end dialogue so you can do other things.

 

When, playing First Person Shooters, pressing *space* to pause