Odd sayings

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A comment Kitrax made in another post got me thinking about the weird sayings people come out with.

When playing cards, my gran always said things like 'If that 2 had been a king, I'd have won that hand' My grandad would responed by saying 'Aye Lil, and if my auntie had two totties she'd be my uncle'

If you ever say 'all of a sudden' in my mothers hearing she'll jump in with 'a dirty great pudding came flying through the air'

Anyone else got any weird sayings from their parents/grandparents/random people?

 

My mom tends to combine words:

slick+slippery=slickery

bum+slut=slum (which is a word in itself, I know)

fall+trip=trall

And it is all unintentional.

 

My sister got confused once and called a Toucan a Peacan

 

Yeah...I think that loses something in the translation

 

Continuing the theme that seems to be developing, my grandmother always used to say "Sh1t in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first."

 

Well, as Silvery pointed out, my parents and other family members say odd things a lot.


"If it were a snake, it would have bitten you!"

"I'm going to pull your ears as long as a mule's!"

"If you keep making that face, it's going to get stuck like that!"

"If you keep sticking out your tongue, a bird is going to poop on it!"

"When Hell freezes over, you're going to be the only one without a coat!"

"Close the damn door! We don't live in a barn!" (usually my dad)

"I’m going to wring your little neck!" (again, usually my dad)

"You want me to knock your heads together?!?) (guess who?)

"Do I wear your shoes?"

"Good food, good meat, good grief, let's eat!"

"Pigs say 'Huh?' If you pull it's tail, it says 'Uh-Uh'..."

"He's/She's on the throne" (when telling someone that the person in question is in the bathroom)

"Diggin' for gold?" (if you catch someone picking their nose)

"If you don’t quiet down, I'm going to beat you like a red-headed step-child!"


Wow....my family is rather cruel.

 

My Mom used to say "If you don't knock that off, I'll hit you so hard you won't wake up for a month of Sundays!"

When we were camping, if my Dad passed gas, he'd say "I just heard a red squirrel!"

One that always get a kick out of that is quite common is "bite me" -- in all honesty, is that what we really want them to do?

 

Actually, it was originally "byte me". And a byte has 8 bits. "Bits" rhymes with "pits", which starts with the letter "P", as does "people". So obviously, the term was started by 8people. Scientists are still trying to figure out why.

 

AND I WILL NEVER TELL THEM! MUAHAHHAHAHA!

*ahem*

Beat like a red-headed step child is common one said around here Heard it first in a Games Workshop though

I often come out with odd allegories apparently. Plus my mother has mild tourettes so when she comes out with something (usually to her boss) is is awesome.

 

That reminds me of Klinger's curse on MASH:

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!"