Getting rid of NPCs.. with style!

Remove all ads!

A common trick I've seen here at the boards to get rid of your least-liked NPC is to use a Cursed Scroll of Stoning on him/her after you have let them join your party.

But frankly, that doesn't carry the full repertoire of hate one can express. You don't see that piece of @@@@ scream in pain, nor do they beg for mercy, they just turn into a statue. How much *fun* is that?

So.. How do the various cursed scrolls work, actually? Do they stack? Are their effects permanent? Can they be cured by Remove Curse or somesuch? Is there a list on which cursed scrolls you can acquire and where?

I was thinking of something in the lines of using Cursed Scroll of Foolishness, Ailment, Clumsiness, Weakness and what have you on a single NPC, and THEN sending that NPC to anger some suitable adversary. Barehanded and without armor, naturally. That party of adventurers at the top floor of that inn in Waukeen's Promenade comes to mind..

 

I love to give this item to Anomen:

"Rod of Terror
When activated this rod may be used as a staff +3. Any creature hit by the rod must make a saving throw vs. spells or flee in terror, fearing the wielder as if he or she were a flesh eating demon from the Abyss. There is a drawback to using this rod however. Each time the rod is used there is a 20% chance that the wielder loses one point of Charisma permanently."

Just have to imagine his portrait changing with every blow till the little boy becomes really ugly!

 

Dude, that's as bad as this: http://www.sorcerers.net/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi/topic/10/2007.html?

 

The Shredder is a rather mean device, agreed.

But still, the problem with instant death remains. And hence, not much squealing, begging for mercy and all that stuff that makes getting rid of someone with style points *fun* in the first place. If only that shredder device started by chopping off toes first, then ankles, then knees.. and at each stage you'd have to pull that lever again. With corresponding comments from your teammates, naturally.

Any way of getting that handy curse that is bestowed upon Jaheira for the PC? That has a certain degree of... well, evilness in it. Especially since you would naturally keep that NPC in your party and see as he/she just fades away bit by bit.

Putting that NPC into one of those cages near the circus and pelting him/her with rotten tomatoes would probably serve as the proverbial method of slapping someone around with a trout.

Edit: Oh yes, I don't find it at all difficult to roleplay evil characters. Disregarding all traits of humanity and exaggerating on stuff like greed, anarchy and general mayhem does the trick surprisingly well. I have written a novel-like walkthrough for the first two chapters of Icewind Dale II through the eyes of my Lawful Evil Dreadmistress of Bane. I wouldn't recommend it as bedtime stories, though.

 

Step 1: have a monk PC
Step 2: challenge the shmuck to a fair fight, mano y mano, no armor, weapons or any accessories (rings, etc.)
Step 3: Proceed to pummel the crap out of the putz

i'd be surprised if he/she manages to land a punch! hehe.

 

After Edwin has lost his balls, go and give him/her to that great lover in the bar near where that duergar miner is. I'm not sure what this guy's name was. Might have been Salvanas.

Too bad nothing too exciting actually happens. You just have let your imagination run.

 

Come on, guys. I'm not even halfway impressed. Show a little imagination on how to be REALLY evil on your not-so-favourite NPC.

 

okay, you asked for it [minor spoilers]:

-Jaheira: leave her in her cage... alternatively get her cursed for fun.

-Minsc: (with the Unfinished Business MOD) now you can truly have your revenge on this mule...

-Aerie: get Korgan in the party (I'm getting soft) OR romance her and have her use the rod of terror, then you can dump her when she's become too ugly for your demanding tastes (you could even use SK to change her portrait).

-Yoshimo: dual him to fighter with proficiencies in... shield, two handed weapons and slings (the same goes for Sarevok in ToB: dual him to mage, guess he won't be carrying a sword around anymore).

-Valygar: take him with you (you should really have Mazzy in your party then ) to open the Planar Sphere and then bring him to Tolgerias.

-Viconia: burn, baby burn...

-Keldorn/Mazzy: steal, kill innocent bystanders, summon fiends, have fun... max your reputation and have him/her kill some nice harmless NPCs.

-Imoen: let her rot in Spellhold (not original).

-Nalia: try to get her killed while fighting the slavers in the Copper Coronet before she even gets into your party (not so easy as it sounds I admit).

-Jan: disable his spells and send him right into the fray, unarmed, watch him die. Then resurrect him. Watch him die again. Resurrect him once more... you get the idea. Eventually some mage or lich will snuff him out, or -better- petrify him -did this fool deserve a statue?

-Edwin: have Edwina use the rod of terror... not only the mage has been turned into a woman, she will be unbelievably ugly (which is even worse when you come to think about it)!

-Korgan: tough little beggar, he is so bad tempered I couldn't let him go .

-Cernd: make him poison the grove himself.

-Haerd'alis: another mine clearance expert? Even if you know there is a trap, aren't you curious to find out what it does...

I admit I rely too much on the rod of terror -my favourite- but if you feel like criticizing I await your suggestions.

 

I like the one about Cernd, that's nasty. I still stick to my (however "unflashy"(?)) monk solution though. or you could just leave whoever you hated the most to take on firkraag alone, unarmed and with 1 hp. *Wing Buffet* and it's over.

 

That's more like what I was talking about. *grin*

How about these? Since the game doesn't allow most of the RP choices here, you'll have to have a bit of imagination, though. [Contains some spoilers and stuff that may make your lose your sleep tonight. Don't say I didn't warn you.]

1) Romance Jaheira almost all the way through and dump her just before completion. Mock her for being so 'easy' and initiate a romance with Viconia by hiring her into your party. Get Jaheira cursed by Baron Ployer and let her die while you coo with Viconia. Be sure to gag Jaheira if her moaning of approaching death starts to get on your nerves. Finally, ditch her cold body down the chute in Unseeing Eye temple. Preferably after you've filled your necrophiliac desires with it, Viconia watching. Who knows, Viccy just might be into some seriously kinky stuff.

2) Rescue Aerie and have Minsc take her as his new witch. Cast Hold Person on Minsc (or let him carry stuff way beyond his weight allowance) and walk a bit away from him with your PC and Aerie. Force-attack Aerie with the dullest, rustiest dagger you can get your hands on and remove the remaining body parts off her. Her captors started with wings, now it's your job to complete the job. If Minsc starts causing trouble, make clear that he's next if he doesn't shut up. Finally, feed the nearest available circus lion with her still twitching body.

3) Have Anomen complete his Knighthood test. Initiate the Unseeing Eye quest and let him force-attack Keldorn in the sewers after you've had him read all the non-lethal cursed scrolls you can get your hands on. Let Keldorn beat him to a pulp and once he's done, backstab Keldorn to death. Declare your deed proudly at the Order of Radiant Heart HQ and if anyone complains, kill everyone there. If no one complains, roast them with a fireball to incite 'some' reactions. Write "this is what you get by accepting a jerk into your ranks" with the high master's blood in the middle of the entrance hall floor.

More? *sadistic grin*

 

Dude, you ARE hardcore, i must say.

I never even thought of killing anyone like that, but if i would have to, i would bring the ones i would like dead with me all the way untill i (ahem, ToB i know. Sorry) achieve godhood, and then i could literally do as i please with them

 

I am suprised no one has made any references to the 'skinner' kilings in the bridge district with Thingy Hidesman. It's unfortunate you can't join him because flaying them alive is a delightfully sadistic way to kill an NPC. It would be most amusing to see how long Aerie lasts considering her minus six constitution.... then after killing the silver dragon you could wear her as a spiffing coat, boots and hat ensemble.

 

Ever since I heard Haer'Dalis' first words farted through his pukesome little blowhole, I have had an uncontrollable urge to see this fool suffer. Finally I have decided that a night in the stocks will be a most fitting end to one who so craves the fickle glare of an audience. Foolishly I once believed the stocks to be a quaint and toothless sort of punishment. Further reading has since proved me wrong. The locals didn't just lob the odd rotten tomato at you - they hurled rocks. They urinated in your face. They pulled your trousers down and performed vile-but-darkly-hilarious experiments with your rear end. After the ale-sodden sadists of Amn have finished with him, Haer'Dalis will probably die with a face like a popped blister and a rolling pin blocking his exit.

 

You guys need help. lol

I dont like Yoshimo... he annoys me for some reason... I can put up with Aerie's whine-ness, and Nalia's holier-than-thou-ness, but Yoshimo makes me want to toss him into the forges on the 2nd level of their captor's mansion...

or let that doppleganger tear him apart. hehe