2020

Remove all ads!

Inspired by the time travel topic in SS
___________________

"Has it been done?" A shadowy figure asked another, equally shadowy figure.
"Yes," the other answered, the tone of voice grave.
"Are you sure this is wise?" A third person asked.
"We have no other choice," the first one replied.
"It's all in their hands now."

...

It was not a dak and stormy night, nor was it bright and sunny day when it happened. In fact, it was a dreary January afternoon, slightly overcast, when the strangest thing happemned.

"WTF?" was the reaction of the Omnipresent Authority Figure whoruled over Sorcerer's Place, that is, the admin Tal. The topic, sitting there incorreguosly, seemed to glare back at him with it's datwe. 2020... what the heckk was going on?

With great terapidation, he clicked the link and began to read....

_____

Have to stop now, am being thrown out of the class.... but there WILL be more

 

hehe, its goos, although a little short

really would like to see more

 

Sounds great. Maybe we get... hmm... real explanation what happened

*Harkle waits for continue...*

 

With my sincerest apologies to Douglas Adams...
_________

The Grandfather paradox is a well-known problem with time-travel. GOing back in time and becoming your own grandfather tends to play hell on your tax refunds, for one. Not to mention back pay.

It was thankfully not a case of mixing up a time machine and a condom dispenser when all this happened, but rather, a case where someone mixed up a time machine, a xerox machine and the server for Sorcerer's Place...

Last time, we left our hero, Taluntain, to read the strange topic from the year 2020...

***

It could not be true. No. It simply could not.
This... mockery... could not be true. It had to be spam... yes, spam. Or hacking. no way it could really be...

The world was going to end.

___________

Again, running out of time here... sorry, folks

 

What does our legendary hero Tal do next????

 

... Ara, you wouldn't happen to be considering writing more now, would you?

Oh, and no, I'm not BEDDING you to write more either

 

No of course not, we aren't even smooching!

***

"You sure about this?"
"About what?
"THIS! The whole 'ooh, they did something reallaa, really bad that will screw up the entire space-time continuum and the fabric of the multiverse, so we'll do something worse to prevent it' thing?"
"Look, you got a better idea?"
"No."
"That's what I thought."
"But still... we're talking about grandfather paradox here!"
"You mean they will kill their grandfathers and thus cancel out themselves, preventing them from ever killing their grandfathers and so on and so on?"
"No, you dolt! I mean, knowing them, they will become their own grandfathers!"
"Cme on, that's not possible!"
"Yes it is!"
"Is not"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not notnotnotnot infinity!"
"Is not once more!"
"Did we just cancel each other out?"
"Quite possibly. But I still think this is insane."
"This is about Sorcerer's Place. When is it not insane?"
"Good point."

After thatr, the two strange beings pushed the big red button labelled "DO NOT PUSH: WE MEAN IT: SERIOUSLY. BAD IDEA. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, NOT EVEN TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

Of course, knowing human nature it was inevitablee that the button would ultimately be pushed. And now was the time for that.

***

It was still dark in most places on the workld when the emergenecy call was made. Various bleary-eyed, caffeine-deprrivated creatures crawled forward to see what the unholy racket was....
Much cursing and teeth.gnashing on various degrees followed the realizaion that their dreams of Baldur's Gate 3 and an autographed hardcover edition of Son of Strife were interrupted by a PM from Tal.

Many eyes widened and many lips muttered "WTF?" when the strange message was read. Tal wanted them to do... what?
"I can't deal with this without coffee," was saifd by many in unison, unbeknowst to themselves.

But somewhere, the Keeper of the COsmic Quantum Coffee Maker laughed.

::::

Yes, I know. It sucks.

 

Hehe, cool! Keep going!

 

Got inspired again...

***

As Tal finished sending the last of the PMs he had so painstakingly crafted, he spun around in his chair to face the other occupant of the room. "There. Done. Now tell me what this is all about." he laid his patended Glare of Doom (Patent still pending and copyright violations case against Elrond clugged amidst red tape)on the person.

All he got was an unfazed smirk. "That won't work on me, you know. I see it every morning."
"Don't tell me."
"What, is it so hard to believe that..."
"Yes!"
The other shrugged. "As you wish. When will they be here?"
Tal sighed. "Soon. Hopefully before they get any coffee, seeing as it should make them less aware."
"Negative int modifier?"
"Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma... you name it."
"I hope not. SO do you keep any coffee around here?"
"Sure, got some instant on the shelff over there."
The other began to choke. "I had forgotten how things were."
"Too bad. Suck it upp."
"No thanks."

***

We leave out Omnipresent Authority figure and the mysterious fugure to argue, and begin to observe the coffee-less bunch now trudging their way to Tal's place.
Not only we, however, for two shadowy figures haad an eye on thema s well.
"Look! It's him!"
"It is?"
"It is. I recognize that5 hair anywhere."
"YOu sure?"
"Has to be."
"If that's him, then where's his other half?"
"No idea. But where's our m..."
"Don't say it! No m-word or f-word when here, got it? We can't screw this up!"
"Okay, I won't. So, where's... she, then?"
"No idea."
"I thought they were joined at the hip?"
"I don't want to think about it."
"All right. But where is she?"
"Damned if I know."
Less silently, they observed.

**

And where was she?

__________________

Evil teacher... *grumble*

 

Wheas we are, muffinscones. Haw haw.

*krhm*

Great story so far. Keep posting!

 

Here we fgo...

***

"Instant coffee. The root of all evil."
"I dunno, I actually like instant more than the regular kind..."
"Bout you're... well, you're you. You'll grow out of it"
"Whatever."
"Hey, it's me... trust me."
"That's precisely the reason why I don't trust you."
"Whatever. When will they be here?"
"You know, it DOES take some time to get here from another hemisphere."
"And? This is important."

***

A bleary-eyed, weary and caffeine-deprived female specimen of mankind drudged along the road. The summons had been made, and the ticket paid so here she was. What the hell was the reason for this?

Blinking, as the dreary january clouds parted momentarily to let sun oh so conviniently momentarily blind her, she squinted. She did her best to see who was the other person, the one who had just joined her lonely drudging.
"You?" an incrediculous male voice asked.
"Yes, me."
"What arew you doing here?"
"I was summoned."
"Me, too. Want some coffee?"
"Of course I do! Coffee is the one universal!"
"Too bad, 'cause I don't have any."
"You b****, I'll get you for that."
"Not if the lack of caffeine kills me first."
"You're the only person I know who's that addicted."
"And you're not?"
"No, I am much too refined for that. Besides, i got pills."
"Bah, it's not about the caffeine, it's about coffee itself! I suppose you drink instant as well!"
"Got a problem with that?"
"I just might have to smite you."
"You already planned to do that in any case. Let me get smited with coffee in my veins?"

***

"Are the others here yet?"
"Yep... plane landed an hour ago."
"GOod. And the... other others?"
"No idea. They're AWOL."
"Shouldn't that be MIA?"
"No idea, it's all gone fubar anyway."
"Why are we talking lik e this?"
"Too many Stargate reruns."
"oh."
"Hey, right now they aren't reruns..."
"Can it. Now."

***

"What are you telling me?" The Keeper growled.
"We're out."
"You can't be out!"
"Well, we are. No coffee left."
"THis is unacceptable!"
"Well, we have some instant if you're THAT desperate..."

The sounds of Cosmic Quantum Smiting were heard, and the keeper continued on in his search.

***

"I think you are insane," The Muse told the writer. "And this proves it."
"What's the matter, can't take it?"
"It's the bunnies. They bite."
"Can't you all just get along?"

***
***
More random insanity. I blame the starirs

EDIT: it posted before I had finished...

[ January 21, 2004, 11:39: Message edited by: Arabwel ]

 

Oh my random spam...

STOP READING those Philip K. Dick books...

 

Marvellous

Post more