A bio and a couple of questions.

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I have been looking over this forum for some time, and checking out the ALFA site and have to say I'm really intrigued. Sir Bel's enthusiasm about the whole thing has made me really want to check it out for myself. Anyway, this is the bio I designed for my first character, tell me what you think

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Valar Teth’lier grew up an orphan, living on the rodents that inhabited the back alleys and abandoned houses. As a half-elf he lived under the scrutiny of every pureblooded race within the city. By the time he had reached fourteen, he had become aware, and was sick of the malevolent stares. With another homeless orphan, a young girl by the name of Melissa, he headed into the forest, in the hope of escaping every mistrusting glance. Together, they laboured to build a small crofters cottage, where they could live together in content.

For several years they dwelled within the warmth of the cottage, Valar working as woodsman and hunter, and Mellisa growing herbs and vegetables on a small patch of land at the rear of the house. Finally they decided to marry, travelling to town for an official wedding. The service was short, and Valar purchased a few supplies before they swiftly headed home. In nine months they had a child, a small girl with an undecided name.

One day, Valar returned from a hunt, a young doe across his shoulder and two pheasants hanging from his belt. As he approached the wooden cottage, he could see smoke drifting lazily into the sky. He charged headlong through the forest, coming across the smouldering remains of the cottage, Melissa’s bloodied body cut apart, the unnamed child close by.

With tears in his eyes, he stumbled across to them collapsing to his knees to stare down on his wife and child. A single deep grave was dug, and a simple cross, erected by Valar. Taking up his bow, he found the tracks of the raiders. They were large. Orcs.

Immediately he set off after them, tracing the track. In the same fateful day, he found their camp. There were eight in all and the fear of taking on all of them nearly turned his bowels. A prayer was answered as two of them set out with bows to hunt for a little sport. Silently, he stalked them waiting for them to stop to examine spoor. Drawing back on the string, he let fly, the arrow punching through the throat of the first. The second one spotted Valar and, with bow forgotten, drew his axe and charged with a blood-curdling scream. Swiftly Valar nocked another arrow and as the arrow was within feet of him let fly. The arrow hammered through his chest. With a great roar, he fell. Valar knew the orcs would have heard the scream, and fear overcame him, and he ran.

For several days he would carefully make his way through the forest, nervously scanning the undergrowth for any sign of the orcs. He decided to travel to the relative safety behind the city walls, his failure to avenge his family alone made him feel sunken and cowardly. But within the walls, he knew, there would be others that would hear his tale, and, perhaps, in time, he would have the chance to gain his revenge…

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I'm afraid it's not that good, but I'm quite tired today.

I also had a few questions. One was that I will not be able to play for a couple of weeks and wondering if I should wait until I submitted my form or just send it in now?

Another was if there were any billing costs. I looked around the ALFA site but could not find anything of this nature. I would really appreciate a little insight on this. Thanks.

[ June 19, 2003, 18:03: Message edited by: Morningstar ]

 

Yeah, I wasn't too sure if the death of ALL of them was too much. I'll edit my post. I think I'd best wait before submitting my application, there is bound to be someone out there who needs it more than me just now. Thanks for your answers.

 

I decided, in the end, just to send off my application, I know that really want to play on ALFA and fully intend to.

 

I hate to rain on your parade old chum, but I have it on good authority that ~ 80% of bios submitted to ALFA are based on 'my family was killed by orcs'
Good luck with your Ap, but if you don't get in first time, try for something that will really stand out by way of originality.

[ June 20, 2003, 13:07: Message edited by: Erran ]

 

Those pesky orcs! Always out to kill the families of adventures!!!

I took a novel approach. My pc's family are still alive and well, and continuing their modest business as merchants in Scardale.

His dog, however...Was killed by orcs! JK

 

Thanks Erran, I'll try and think of something original if all doesn't go well.

 

Its a good thing I'm the only one in the office, because that cracked me up!

Morningstar, I thought it was well written. I had no clue the orc thing was overdone either ... oh well.

I had to apply twice because my first one got "wiped out" during a player purge.

First bio had an elf whos family was sacrified to an evil god. He becomes a paladin with a mission to wipe out evil clerics, changing his name to Scandal Covenrift.

The second was the second son of a merchant who hated watching his dad skim off the top and rip people off. One of the guards notices this, turns him onto Tyr (God of Justice) and gets him on the path to be a cleric.

Nothing original at all. The second is practically the bio of a friend from seminary!

I have no real evidence, but I think they look more at the "What is a good role player" type questions.

 

Morningstar, if you are still submitting something like this story, give the child a name. Maybe that will bring a bit more compassion with it, and it helps getting into the story better. Like Mathetais, I also didn't notice much of the orcs, but what caught my attention was that the main character was an orphan. Most main characters in fantasy books are orphan's, and it doesn't make the story more original. I think the story was good, but maybe you should tell more about the days, when he was a child and maybe why he became an orphan.

At first, I wanted to submit a character with a 'my family was killed by an evil dragon and now I want revenge'- story, but I changed my mind and went for the 'middle aged cleric of Helm, who travels the Realms, desperatly seeking his adopted drow daughter, who had been recently kidnapped'- approach.

This was actually the hardest question IMHO. Everybody has his own views on what is a good role-player. I actually couldn't find a good answer, and tried to keep it as fague as possible, not really answering the question. This didn't work. For my second application I tried to use more confincing arguments, but this was hard, because English isn't my first language and with a written application, you don't have the possibilty to defend your arguements.

Anyway, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed, I'll probably hear the result in the next few days.

 

Yay, I got in *wee jig*. Hope to see you lot on ALFA in a few days!

 

Wooohooo ... now give us your name and server so we can be sure to lure you into the sewers and rob ya!

 

So far, Math, you are the only person I've met in ALFA that's fallen for that...

 

shhh, that's a secret.

And for the record, I've fallen for worse

 

True...But enough about your personal life!

 

Congratulations and welcome aboard. Now kill some orcs!