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A Funny Church Sign

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Elios, Aug 22, 2003.

  1. Elios Gems: 17/31
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    Remove all ads!
    I saw this the other day on a church bilboard:
    "Don't allow your worries to kill you, let the church help."
    Great, isn't it?
     
    Elios, Aug 22, 2003
    #1
  2. Sorvo

    Sorvo Where's the nearest pub? Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Veteran

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    ROTFLMAO! Too true, Too true :p
     
    Sorvo, Aug 22, 2003
    #2

  3. Aikanaro Gems: 31/31
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    [​IMG] Ah, the church is good at such things ;)
     
    Aikanaro, Aug 22, 2003
    #3
  4. Loerand

    Loerand My heart holds no fear for death

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    LOL, typical typo, that always get misunderstood :)
     
    Loerand, Aug 22, 2003
    #4
  5. Mesmero

    Mesmero How'd an old elf get the blues?

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    Mesmero, Aug 22, 2003
    #5

  6. Aikanaro Gems: 31/31
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    Church Bulletin Bloopers

    1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.

    2. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

    3. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Smith, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Smith.

    4. Wednesday, the Ladies' Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing
    "Put Me in my Little Bed", accompanied by the pastor.

    5. Thursday, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

    6. This being Easter Sunday, we ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay and egg on the altar.

    7. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
    will follow.

    8. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
    Come early, and listen to our choir practice.

    9. The Scounts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
    recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

    10. The eighth-graders will be performing Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the
    church basement on Friday. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

    11. For those who have children and don't know it, we have a new nursery.

    12. Eight new choir robes are urgently needed, due to the addition of several
    new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
     
    Aikanaro, Aug 22, 2003
    #6

  7. Mithrantir Gems: 15/31
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    ROTFLMAO that is hillarious i can't stop laughing :D
     
    Mithrantir, Aug 22, 2003
    #7

  8. Viking Gems: 19/31
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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    :thumb:

    That is indeed funny.
     
    Viking, Aug 22, 2003
    #8

  9. Harkle Gems: 16/31
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    Heh, those were great! :grin:
     
    Harkle, Aug 22, 2003
    #9

  10. Uytuun Gems: 25/31
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    Aah, a bit o' oldfashioned church bashing :D
    Nice one, Aikanaro. :)
     
    Uytuun, Aug 22, 2003
    #10
  11. chevalier

    chevalier Knight of Everfull Chalice ★ SPS Account Holder Veteran

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    :D :lol: :D :lol: :D

    In one church here they were reciting some prayer to St.Joseph. It's like:

    St.Joseph, terror of forces impure, pray for us
    St.Joseph, protector of virgins, pray for us

    And the priest intonated:

    'St.Joseph, terror of virgins'

    after which the whole congregation recited 'pray for us' :shake:
     
    chevalier, Aug 22, 2003
    #11

  12. Oaz Gems: 29/31
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    Did the males recite, "Prey for us?"
     
    Oaz, Aug 22, 2003
    #12
  13. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] lol! I always thought something was strange about churches :grin:
     
    8people, Aug 22, 2003
    #13

  14. Jarel Gems: 10/31
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    prrrfffff.....BWAHAHAAHHAAHAHAH!

    Aika, those were just great! I cannot stop thinking about number 7! THAT would be a great concert! :D :D :D
     
    Jarel, Aug 22, 2003
    #14

  15. Jesper898 Gems: 21/31
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    [​IMG] Man, these were hilarious :tie:
     
    Jesper898, Aug 23, 2003
    #15

  16. Elios Gems: 17/31
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    Not sure how many of you here are/were Catholic or if they do this in other religions, though I'm sure at one point they do.
    During major holidays, the priest would always use incense and walk up and down the ilses shaking a little cup on a chain spreading the incense around.
    Well one Christmas, the priest was doing his incense walk. It happened to be a little think and overwelming that night. My mom, meaning to use the word "incense" blurts out to my brother and I, "Boy, there's a lot of incest here in church tonight.
    A lot of people around us heard her and busted out laughing. The priest was not too happy as he walked by.
     
    Elios, Aug 24, 2003
    #16
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