1. SPS Accounts:
    Do you find yourself coming back time after time? Do you appreciate the ongoing hard work to keep this community focused and successful in its mission? Please consider supporting us by upgrading to an SPS Account. Besides the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from supporting a good cause, you'll also get a significant number of ever-expanding perks and benefits on the site and the forums. Click here to find out more.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
You are currently viewing Boards o' Magick as a guest, but you can register an account here. Registration is fast, easy and free. Once registered you will have access to search the forums, create and respond to threads, PM other members, upload screenshots and access many other features unavailable to guests.

BoM cultivates a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. We have been aiming for quality over quantity with our forums from their inception, and believe that this distinction is truly tangible and valued by our members. We'd love to have you join us today!

(If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. If you've forgotten your username or password, click here.)

A man called Death (Story in Progress)

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Lazy Bonzo, Apr 18, 2004.

  1. Lazy Bonzo Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,861
    Likes Received:
    1
    I apoligise in advance to any that venture further on and actually read this; one could say it is confusing, or just plain bad. What do you think?

    Note: Not fantasy, set in more or less modern times (not specified). Set in Britian (not more specific than this).

    Enjoy (try to anyway)...

    [Edited away due to my intent to submit a rewrite to various magazines (which almost unwaveringly wish for pieces to be unavailable elsewhere). If anyone wishes to read/re-read this piece then email/pm me and I will gladly send it.]

    [ July 02, 2004, 20:28: Message edited by: Lazy Bonzo ]
     
  2. Smyther Gems: 3/31
    Latest gem: Lynx Eye


    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2003
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    Very nice. Humorous in spots, reminds me of Douglas Adams books. Could use a little work there, with capitals, grammar and spelling. A small bit of the dialogue is repetitive (sir, move your Illegally parked car so it'll be a Legally parked car). But overall very good, looking forward to more.
     
  3. Splunge

    Splunge Bhaal’s financial advisor Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2003
    Messages:
    6,815
    Media:
    6
    Likes Received:
    336
    Exactly what I was thinking when I read it; similar to one of the Dirk Gently books.

    Nicely done, LB.

    (P.S. - just in case my 1st comment gets misinterpreted, I'm not suggesting you are trying to copy Adams' style. It's just that you have a similar way of injecting humour into your writing, and it's a style I enjoy reading.)
     
  4. Lazy Bonzo Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,861
    Likes Received:
    1
    Thanks for the comments!

    Edited away (see first post for explanation)]

    [ July 02, 2004, 20:29: Message edited by: Lazy Bonzo ]
     
  5. Smyther Gems: 3/31
    Latest gem: Lynx Eye


    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2003
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    Like Dirk Gently with a bloody and slightly more serious twist. I'm going to enjoy this. :evil: No, seriously, this is good stuff. :angel:
     
  6. Lazy Bonzo Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,861
    Likes Received:
    1
    Thanks for the comments! Next part....

    Edited away (see first post for explanation)]

    [ July 02, 2004, 20:31: Message edited by: Lazy Bonzo ]
     
Sorcerer's Place is a project run entirely by fans and for fans. Maintaining Sorcerer's Place and a stable environment for all our hosted sites requires a substantial amount of our time and funds on a regular basis, so please consider supporting us to keep the site up & running smoothly. Thank you!

Sorcerers.net is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to products on amazon.com, amazon.ca and amazon.co.uk. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.