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A man called Death (Story in Progress)

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Lazy Bonzo, Apr 18, 2004.

  1. Lazy Bonzo Gems: 24/31
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    Remove all ads!
    I apoligise in advance to any that venture further on and actually read this; one could say it is confusing, or just plain bad. What do you think?

    Note: Not fantasy, set in more or less modern times (not specified). Set in Britian (not more specific than this).

    Enjoy (try to anyway)...

    [Edited away due to my intent to submit a rewrite to various magazines (which almost unwaveringly wish for pieces to be unavailable elsewhere). If anyone wishes to read/re-read this piece then email/pm me and I will gladly send it.]

    [ July 02, 2004, 20:28: Message edited by: Lazy Bonzo ]
     
    Lazy Bonzo, Apr 18, 2004
    #1

  2. Smyther Gems: 3/31
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    Very nice. Humorous in spots, reminds me of Douglas Adams books. Could use a little work there, with capitals, grammar and spelling. A small bit of the dialogue is repetitive (sir, move your Illegally parked car so it'll be a Legally parked car). But overall very good, looking forward to more.
     
    Smyther, Apr 18, 2004
    #2
  3. Splunge

    Splunge Bhaal’s financial advisor Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Exactly what I was thinking when I read it; similar to one of the Dirk Gently books.

    Nicely done, LB.

    (P.S. - just in case my 1st comment gets misinterpreted, I'm not suggesting you are trying to copy Adams' style. It's just that you have a similar way of injecting humour into your writing, and it's a style I enjoy reading.)
     
    Splunge, Apr 19, 2004
    #3

  4. Lazy Bonzo Gems: 24/31
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    Thanks for the comments!

    Edited away (see first post for explanation)]

    [ July 02, 2004, 20:29: Message edited by: Lazy Bonzo ]
     
    Lazy Bonzo, Apr 19, 2004
    #4

  5. Smyther Gems: 3/31
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    Like Dirk Gently with a bloody and slightly more serious twist. I'm going to enjoy this. :evil: No, seriously, this is good stuff. :angel:
     
    Smyther, Apr 20, 2004
    #5

  6. Lazy Bonzo Gems: 24/31
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    Thanks for the comments! Next part....

    Edited away (see first post for explanation)]

    [ July 02, 2004, 20:31: Message edited by: Lazy Bonzo ]
     
    Lazy Bonzo, Apr 21, 2004
    #6
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