A strange story

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A strang story I concocted. See what you think, though dont expect shakespeare.

I'll introduce the usual suspects: Hero, a fighter with a fixation on saving Damsels in distress. Lacky, does whatever Hero tells him to. He also has a fixation with Prom Queen. Prom Queen, who just looks really good. Maniac, An insane Gnome who's muzzled because he bites. And Sebastion the Slightly Smelly, who nobody likes.


Titled: The usual suspects and the turnips of doom

It was a hot and shiney day, not the polished kind of shiney, but the sunny kind. The usual suspects were sunbathing on the lawn outside the Friendly Arm Inn. Suddenly Sebastion the slightly Smelly got crapped on by a passing pigeon. Moodily he stormed off back to where he laired. For the rest, it was the start of a whole new adventure. This time it was Turnips!
Hero decided to retire early and wandered inside where he saw a news report on the Boards of Magic. Apparently Amn had been invaded. Not by Drow, but by Turnips! Giant killer turnips! It sounded too surreal by half. Quickly he gathered the rest of the gang together. All except for Sebastion, who went home, since he didnt want to die, again. Only this time he got eaten on the way home by a passing moose.
The gang were about to set off for Amn, when a yellow spotted Zebra crashed into the party and started to sing and dance. It was at this point that Lackey knew something sinister was going on. Not becsause of the zebra, no....because Hero and Prom Queen were clapping along. What could cause such a devilish state of mind? Only one thing...Hallucinagenic pigeon poo! Could this be linked to the killer turnips? They had to find out.
Quickly he dashed to high ground, and using maniac's super-sight, managed to spot where the pigeon had gone. The next few minutes were the hardest of his life, except fot that hemorrhoids incident he was trying hard to forget. He had to use all his persuasion to get Hero and Prom Queen away from the dancing Zebra, and it wasnt pretty. It had become even harder since it had been joined by 3 dancing llamas as well. The purple stripy kind. Eventually they were all outside and tracking the pigeon.
As they suspected the trail led them to Amn, where the locals were being besieged by turnips. They were led to the local sewers. Why a pigeon would hide in the sewers they could not guess, and it did not bode well. With a degree of trepidation they entered the fetid hole. Maniac didnt mind though, since the smell didnt penetrate his muzzle. He was muzzled because he bites, however the others were struggling. Thankfully they had help, and it casme in an unlikely form. It seemed something had happened to the rat population. They were now 4 feet tall and could beat Hero at chess. They were clever indeed! They were no longer happy as a mad mage was breeding killer turnips and demented pigeons. These pigeons were responsible for the wild and crazy dancing they had seen on the streets of Amn. It was so sever people were dying. Why he had chosen the sewewr for his lab was still a mystery, but he was seriously demented. Maybe he had no nose? They were going to find out!
With the giant rats showing the usual suspects the way through the sewers, they made good time. However they did have to stop and make time for the picture show put on by the local spider population. That done they continued their journey. Eventually thet reached their goal. The mages secret underground sewer lair! When they arrive they immediately forced a confrontation.
Hero was incensed! The hallucinations hadnt made Prom Queen strip. Someone was going to die! Before they knew what was happening, the mage summoned a load of turnip allies, and pigeons to attack the usual suspects. In response, Hero de-muzzled Maniac and dived out of the way. Maniac went on an exteded biting spree, ending up attached to the mages ankles. Maenwhile the others had to contend with rabid turnips, and seeing a tea party attended by orange squirrels, which loked quite fun incidentally. Before long, however, the usual suspects had the upper hand. The mage's army got defeated, and Hero had to decide what to do with him. First they had to use a crowbar to seperate him from maniac.
As punnishment, Hero decided to make an example of the mage. He stripped him, and paraded him through the Gnomish quarter. The abuse the mage took that day, and the turnip pelting, made sure he would never offend again. The Usual Suspects, their work done, retired back to the Freindly Arm Inn. Hero and Prom Queen had some personal celebrating in mind.

 

Y'know, Takara...it's weird, but...this story's exactly like a dream I had in 1987 after taking too much...well, you know...

Truly bizarre.