A Truly Insightful Book

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I would like to put forward a heartfelt recommendation for the work of Dr. Oswald T. Pratt, entitled You Are Worthless. It contians many littles bits of wisdom and insight, such as "You are a loser" and "I don't like you."

Much time is devoted to self-discovery: "If you fell off of a horse and were paralyzed from the neck down like Christopher Reeve, you wouldn't be the noble, I'm-going-to-beat-this-thing hero like they make him out to be. You'd spend every waking moment sobbing and wishing you were dead. That's probably what he's doing right now."

But they move on to topics such as:

1.) Parenthood: "Admit it, you resent those damned kids."

2.) Pets: "If your cat were a little bigger, it would kill and eat you."

3.) Work: "You should hang up on your cubicle walls precious pictures that your kids drew to prove that, at the very least, you can procreate."

4.) Religion: "When the chips are down, and you really need God's help, He's not going to be there for you, because He doesn't exist. But hey, maybe Santa will show up."

And so much more. I demand that everyone who reads this buy the book. Maybe if we all wish for it very hard, Taluntain will put it in the books section and your purchase will do some good.

(To anyone uptight enough to have been offended by these statements, I could rightly say that I wrote none of them and they came from a book, but I'll just go ahead and say I don't care.)

 

From reading this, I wonder if Mr. Pratt has ever had children, pets, or been injured before.