Action Figures and Kleenex Prints of Jed Rooster Coin

Remove all ads!

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away there was a man. His name was Jed Rooster Coin. He wrote books for a living, mostly dabs into the creative and newborn fantasy world that the 1950's was cooking up. He looked through Ray Bradbury, John Steinbeck, and just didn't like their stuff. So he wrote dwarves. Dwarves, dwarves, dwarves. They became habits. Habits, habits, hobbi-, oops, habits. The book series were all best-sellers for their creative new look and wondrous new world.

Along came a sudden clash in the market. The Drownies, an underground group of mentally abused shut-ins with messy hair and greasy fingers, needed a way to make money without having to work and to design a beautiful system that was so beautiful it made THEM beautiful. And...along came Horrendous Horrors, the lame, ten-page recompense board-game hoarded by the graves of economy. Along came the three-color 300X400 resolution 8-byte games and sound waves from A-tracks. Along came an army of pure inbred darkness sent from the hellspawn of society to take over Jed Rooster Coin's books. So the Drownies murdered him and put him in a deathly-hard cask, laughing all they way, jingly, jingly, jingly bells.

Years later, after a rise in the sales of Horrendous Horrors, a new, hip and chillin' company began chew on the Drownies and finally turned them into purebreds. Sleek, efficient, moneymaking machines. Surprisingly, the Drownies had been remarkably close to achieving their dream of beauty, and found themselves suddenly ungreasitized, unmessitized, their creativity drained and lost. They pumped out millions of Horrendous Horrors books, coated with a strange "TM" sign. Money, dollars, cash, it didn't matter what it was called, but it was the goal, and would be for very long to come. Action figures and kleenex prints came next, whispering the everseeing winds, the grappling tentacles of economy.

 

ha ha great i like this stroy, write more! however im not sure if im missin the point but whats the reason behind this story?

 

Alright - here's more.
KLEeNEX PRiNTS part Two

So soon after that came the flying ships and globules of mass-marketing. One vast corporation began spanning across the entire planet, throughout China, Russia, and especially America. This corporation was known as Pmil Tikzib (the name came from a hip new language they had invented to sell). They were a media-infesting swabber of companies with a brand-new idea:

Grab hold of new, 'cool' ideas and ship them out by the billions.

This became the way people, mostly teens, lived their lives. By television, movie, music, or book they heard more and more advertising, and soon America, Russia, and China were all brainwashed. Every generation was getting dumber and worse off, and the huge corporations were getting richer and more...well...rich...

Soon these corps found Blacksword, a small mine-cart drab industry intent on owning south California's role-players. Blacksword grew and grew, was renamed again and again, became well-fed with money, and soon was renamed to Wizards of Thug. 'Wizards' was sure to attract gamers, and 'Thug' was slang for 'Coastal Inland', although coasts really had nothing to do with wizards.

The Drownies were getting richer, too, and wanted to have relations with the Wizards of Thug, so they invented a card-game. It was called Weapons. It dealt with collectables, a very very expensive deputy in the corporal parts, and pasty logos covering the barely-playable cards.

The winds of economy were changing, however, and something was about to happen...