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Adopt a Player...

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Sir Belisarius, Aug 30, 2002.

  1. Sir Belisarius

    Sir Belisarius Viconia's Boy Toy Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder

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    [​IMG] I, like you, am concerned about the looming Major League Baseball strike. I've thought to myself: "What can I do to help bring about a solution to save our national pastime?" Well, here's the answer: Adopt a Player!

    Please read below, and give as much as you can!
    :grin: :spin: :roll:

    TO: Everyone
    From: A concerned citizen
    RE: Adopt-a-player program

    Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

    Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation. But you can help!

    For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

    Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

    Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

    HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean(for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples suffering.

    HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

    YES, I WANT TO HELP!

    I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked
    below:

    [ ] Infielder

    [ ] Outfielder

    [ ] Starting Pitcher

    [ ] Ace Pitcher

    [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)

    [ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for the duration of the strike.

    Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

    Your Name: _______________________

    Telephone Number: ____________________

    Account Number: _____________________ Exp. Date:_______

    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

    Signature: _______________________

    Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

    Account Number: _____________________Exp. Date:_______

    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

    Signature: _______________________

    Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-SCREW-THE-FANS now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).

    Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have
    sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Contributions
    are not tax-deductible.

    [ August 30, 2002, 21:37: Message edited by: Taluntain ]
     
  2. Keraptisdm Gems: 6/31
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    I should be able to adopt the entire team of my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates for less than the cost of A. Rod!
    Great post. :lol: :lol:
     
  3. Mathetais Gems: 28/31
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    Bel ... classic stuff. I feel so bad for those players, making hundreds of thousand of dollars (at worst)or millions!!! to play a game for a few months out of the year.

    Go rent "The Replacements" ... wipeing out the "pro's" could be good! ;)
     
  4. Jack Funk Gems: 24/31
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    Sir Bel,

    Excellent post. I've been an avid baseball fan for close to 30 years (Red Sox. Yes, I've endured). If those spoiled brats strike again, I believe I am done.

    Football rules! (not soccer, though. What a lame game) :p
     
  5. Sir Belisarius

    Sir Belisarius Viconia's Boy Toy Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder

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    [​IMG] If they strike...I think I am done with MLB...Hell, I had more fun watching the Little League World Series!!!! At least the kids show enthusiasm!!!

    I'm a Phillies/Red Sox fan...I thought it would be nice to have my heart broken in each league every year!!!! Have you been enjoying Boston's annual All-Star Slide?

    And amazingly!!!! The Phils are starting to pour it on! Unfortunately, even after winning 12 out of their last 14...they're still 17 games out of first place and 10 from the wildcard!!!
     
  6. Gnolyn Lochbreaker Gems: 13/31
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    Nice one - very nearly brought a tear to my eyes :p

    I used to be a hard-core Jays fan: went to ball games all the time, followed the standings religiously, etc. My interest really dropped after the '94 strike - along with so many other Jays' fans. They went from setting MLB attendance records at the Dome (averaging 50,00+ per game) to barely scratching 25,000 a game this year. With the strike talk now, well, let's just say I don't go to games anymore unless the tickets are given to me, haven't watched a game on TV in almost 2 seasons, and I'd have difficulty naming more than a third of the batting line-up.

    Only question on my mind these days re: baseball, is didn't they learn their lesson in '94? Sheesh, talk about self-destruction :rolleyes:
     
  7. scarampella Gems: 10/31
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    :lol: :lol: :wail: :lol: :lol:

    VERY funny Sir Bel!
    Maybe those of us in California should give even more since we pay so much more for everything else($700 is 1/2 a month's rent :aww: )
    What's a few more blackouts in our state when we are talking about the Great American Pastime???

    We cannot let the rest of the world view us as weak! We must band together! We must act now!
    Where's my damn flag? Oh yeah, it flew down the highway when I cut that guy off on Hwy 101...
     
  8. Sir Belisarius

    Sir Belisarius Viconia's Boy Toy Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder

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    [​IMG] Thanks to all of you that gave generously!!!! The strike has been averted....For now. :eek:

    WhooHoo!!! 3 more months of baseball!!!! Maybe next year the All-Star game won't end in a tie!
     
  9. deBhaal Gems: 11/31
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    Well, that would count out giving them money, the company that you give the money to for the players to recieve, would be concidered a "Third-Party" :p
     
  10. Earl Grey

    Earl Grey Mmm... hot tea! Veteran

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    [​IMG] A thought:
    If the players are overpayed and still want more, doesn't this mean that there is extra money somewhere in that whole circus? Perhaps someone else is more deserving of that money? Maybe the fans?
     
  11. Rastor Gems: 30/31
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    Yeah! Pay all of us to watch the players play! Especially when your home team sucks!
     
  12. stormhand Gems: 4/31
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    [​IMG] Great post, Sir Bel!! It reminded how much I hate those baseball players. I almost wish there should have been a strike and that fans would have stopped going to the stadiums, hoping it would put the League in financial trouble for a while and bring back those spoiled brats (sp?) back down to earth!! What a misery it would be for them to live like normal people!!

    I have been a baseball fan my whole life. When I say baseball, I don't necessarely mean MLB, but the sport itself. I have played the game for 20 years (just stopped because of a shoulder injury), I have been part of simulation games (Strat-O-Matic) for 7 years, and have organized baseball pools for the past few years. But because of the players' primadona attitudes, I have very little respect for their own little beings, other than their physical aptitudes.

    And since I'm from Montreal, you must understand how worst it makes it for me!! I have decided a few years ago that I would not financially participate in baseball by not buying any tickets; if some were given to me, I would not buy any products from the stadium. However, with the potential departure of our team (the Expos), I admit to buying some tickets this year because it might be my last occasion to attend some good professional baseball games, especially considering we have a very decent team notwithstanding our limited budget.

    Anyway, all in all, you must have noticed my frustration with regards to MLB. I understand that some owners are not helping the industry with their disregard of smaller markets, but the exposed behaviors of some overly paid players frustrate me furthermore.

    Enough ranting for now. If anyone made it that far, thanks for reading!! :cool:
     
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