Age (fiction)

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"I feel old." The revered Dustman, his clothes still covered with dirt from the road, said as he leaned on his staff in the Friendly Amn Inn. "How do you cope with it, Belisarius?"

The knight, who had been watching Shralp and listening to his complaints patiently so far, washed down his last oversized bite with whatever dark-colored grog he was drinking this week and burped before responding. "Thanks for the compliment, junior."

"No, seriously. How do you put up with the rug rats?"

"Well, some of the regulars from our day are still around," he indicated a table where a solitary figure kept saying "Heh" to himself. "And honestly you can't tell how old some of the newer people are. Splunge could be 15 or 50 depending upon what outfit he's wearing that day. And some of the newer adults are laying some righteous smackdown in the public tournaments. Gray Magistrate... Mithrantir..."

"Yeah, yeah." Shralp pulled up a bench opposite the knight and brushed some dust off his robes. "But for every one of them there're two linoleum lizards crawling around with delusions of grandeur."

Belisarius laughed. "Tal keeps them in line."

"Hey, that's a bright spot. Tal's getting older too. It seems like he was a teenager just yesterday" The pair turned to regard the robed figure seated on a platform above the throng. Taluntain saw them looking and nodded. Shralp started to make one of his biting comments until he saw Tal's hand tighten on Mystra's leash. Instead, he turned back to Belisarius.

"But what about the old folk? Extremist, Damona, Mathetais...."

"Extremist joined a gay leper colony in The Hague. Damona is trying to 'find herself' by digging and filling mass graves. Mathetais took to knitting."

The more shifty of Shralp's eyebrows shot up. "Can he figure out the whip stitch? That one always gave me trouble."

Belisarius shifted uncomfortably.

The crowd had started to grow, and the noise of excited chattering began to make it hard to hear. Belisarius struck up conversations with a few of them, laughing heartily and telling jokes. Shralp perked up a bit when a few of the other adventurers recognized him, and after a few rounds of Bel's grog the conversations were rolling again. Ragusa and Joacqin came over to exchange barbs, Yerril eyed the livestock for possible copulation, and Shralp noticed a lone figure in the corner who was NOT saying "heh." He wandered over and recognized the fellow.

"Lokken? What're you doing over here by yourself?"

Lokken pushed back his hood. "Things have been slow. Without Darien and the women around, my bum has gone entirely unappreciated."

Shralp nodded his understanding. "Well, you might try Yerril. He was eyeing a sheep earlier."

Lokken laughed, but managed to sound sad about it. Shralp joined the growing throng about Belisarius and turned another page.

Someone said "Heh" not far behind him.

 

Lol! Highly entertaining, Shralp

 

Wow, so I've been judged an adult! My mom would be so proud!

 

Hey Shralp, Grey is a youngster...he just sounds old and wise because he's conservative (or Paleo-French).

Nice post. Yeah...I'm saying it...even though you did snub me.

 

LOL! Thats really good! Kudos to you!

 

Aww, I love you too Shralp. Just not so much that Yerril will get jealous.

Heh.

 

I'm actually twenty-something...but I sure FEEL young!

 

Yup, one day I'm wearing baggy jeans with the crotch somewhere around my ankles, the next day it's a three piece suit. Usually, my personality depends on whether or not I'm wearing my cap backwards.

But to the best of my knowledge, I'm the oldest (in terms of age, not maturity) current regular poster on these Boards - closer (much closer) to 50 than 15.

 

Indeed, an enjoyable read. Well done

 

Digging and filling mass graves. You've been spying on me <3

 

I'm flattered you think me worthy of sheep. I've always been more of a poultry guy.

 

You got me all wrong!

I'd never be saying "heh". I'd be snoring loudly and contently on a divan in the corner, surrounded by beautiful women

 

Sequel! We want a sequel!

 

@Aik: Write your own, glorifying the present instead of the past...