Alternatives To War

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Ok, how about another lighthearted look at all this.
What do you think could be some alternatives to war with Iraq? Maybe something to smooth over the current relationship in the UN with France, Germany, Brittain and America?
How about instead of a debate like Saddam wants, bush and Saddam get together and have a drinking contest? If Bush lasts longer, Saddam disarms, if Saddam lasts longer, bush backs off.
We could have a big flag football game!
We could have a world leader version of Fear Factor! Hmmmm, locked in a closet with Janet Reno, endure 30 minutes of listening to Al Gore tell jokes...
You could also get the leaders of France, Germany, Brittain, Iraq and America around a big table and give them a joint to pass around. Then the camera could follow around the room like it does in "That 70s Show" and we could watch them all get high.

 

I remember a show called 'American Gladiator'

 

Single combat to the death

 

Apeman, glad to see you back in my posts. Missed ya!

The Weakest Link!

 

I'm thinking we get Bush & Sadaam to play chicken in a couple farm tractors (ala Footloose). I'm betting Bush gets his shoe-lace stuck in the clutch so he can't jump off, while Sadaam drives off the cliff screaming "Die Infidel John Deere!"

 

I have always been partial of letting the leaders duke it out mano a mano instead of using millions of proxies that has been the case throuhout history. Saddam and Bush II really doesnt like eachother? Well let em go at eachother with baseball bats! Chirac and Blair alittle peeved at each other? Let them armwrestle! I am sick and tired of leaders talking big while never risking anything themselves. If we cant have peace let us atleast minimaze the bloodshed to our leadership as they are the ones starting it all.
Wouldnt it have been much better if Hitler had been in a ring with Churchill and Stalin for a fight to the death instead of the horrors of WW2? It is even more obvious in ww1 as that was truly a war about the ego's and pride of a few powerful men.

 

Thanks Elios it's good to be back!

What about an old western style paintball duel without protection (ala jackass)

 

Celebrity Deathmatch!!

 

And I'm guessing that Bush will be holding a six-shooter in each hand, while Saddam will have that scimitar that kills three-headed serpents with human faces.

(There is a mural in Baghdad of Saddam with a sword slaying said monster, and he received a sword as a gift recently, I belive.)

 

Let them wrestle in Jell-O. Hehe. And yes, those IMPORTANT men should do it themselves.

 

How about a snowball fight? DC has the required raw materials, and Dubya could use his connection to the Texas Rangers to get some coaching from Nolan Ryan!

[joke]Dubya and Saddam agree to settle their differences in the age-old custom of... dogfighting. They set a date, ive years in the future, and agree that the result of a single dogfight will determine the whole outcome.

Saddam races back to Baghdad and begins an aggressive program of cross-breeding and dog training. His experts gather the meanest puppies of the meanest breeds from all around the world. The training is bloody and vicious.

Meanwhile, the American program is shrouded in secrecy. Not even the hint of a rumor is heard.

On the appointed day, the teams assemble. Saddams people come in with a crate, inside of which is a huge, snarling, slobbering, beast. When the handlers take it from the crate, the chains used to keep it in the ring could hold a ship's anchor.

Then Dubya enters the arena alone, holding a leash. At the other end waddles along a hugely fat, 15' long Dachsund.

When the bell sounds Saddam's beast lunges at the American dog, but before it could bite the Dachsund opened its huge jaws and swallowed the thing whole.

Saddam had to admit defeat. When he shook Dubya's hand, he coudln't help asking about the dog.

"How could such a fat, slow thing defeat the product of our breeding program? I hired the finest trainers from all around the world!"

Duby grinned. "Saddam, buddy," he drawled, "it took five years for the best genetic engineers in the world to make analligator look like a Dachsund!"

[ February 26, 2003, 03:10: Message edited by: Rallymama ]

 

Throw custard pies at one another instead of bombs. Then everyone could have a big peace feast!