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As I was dreaming one night ( poem)

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Zurga, Mar 6, 2005.

  1. Zurga Gems: 9/31
    Latest gem: Iol

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    Remove all ads!
    My dream, as I dreamt it one night,
    Was pleasant, and oh so bright.
    Seing her, as she there stood,
    I was awed, as well I should.

    Trees, standing there close by
    Were tall, thought notice did not I.
    “She’s a goddes”, with great stilness,
    this I said, with feverish illness.

    Then shouting, to this vision,
    “Wait”, a word of much precision.
    For she was going, as I fearred.
    To her heaven, and I not invited

    Critical slaughter is welcomed here. Do not critizise typos, it's not that importans.
     
    Zurga, Mar 6, 2005
    #1
  2. Gothmog

    Gothmog Man, a curious beast indeed! ★ SPS Account Holder Veteran

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    I just thought about usefulness of criticism.

    Obviously, you're not living off your poetry ( :p ), so you're not really writing poems for others people, are you?
    So, why should you care how other people accept them, it's your idea, your vision of them.


    Even if we were offer advices, how to "improve" it, there's definitely no way we could improve it in the way you expressed it, since it's an expression of yourself which just cant be simulated. :hmm:
     
    Gothmog, Mar 6, 2005
    #2

  3. SleepleSS Gems: 24/31
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    Sorry is the godess you mentioned Hecate? It reminds me of a story of her standing by a tree. Hecate lives in Hell although she may live in Heaven if she wishes to.

    I kind of liked your poem!
     
    SleepleSS, Mar 8, 2005
    #3

  4. Zurga Gems: 9/31
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    Sorry not Hecate. I just promised Dionysus to give one of his girlfriends a part if he would assist me in my endevor.
     
    Zurga, Mar 18, 2005
    #4
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