"...as long as she's happy I'll be happy"

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"...as long as she's happy I'll be happy"

This is what a certain colleague of mine recently said. What do you think? I think that this statement is ok as long as you don't exagerate. I'll let Chev give the examples

 

I think that this is said in grudging tone that you use after defeat and
are trying to maintaince your dignity, some would say you're sulking.

Atleast that is the only scene I can imagine my head at the moment.

 

yes, that is a possibility...

 

I have to disagree with you WiZ and Kelvon. That statement can actually be true. I know, thats how I feel about my ex. Its not just some grudging thing you say just for dignities sake, if you actually care about someone, thats how you feel.

My ex dumped me because she didn't like me as she thought she did, and also perhaps because she gained a twisted version of who I am but thats another story. After much reflection and tears, I came to realise that it is better for her to move on and find someone she cares about rather than lying to herself and staying with me. I don't just say that for kicks, I truly feel that its better for her to move on as doing so makes her happy, and thus I am.

When you truly care for someone all that matters is their happiness, and when they're sad, you can't help but feel that way as well. Its not just some cunning line used for petty purposes, when your feelings are true and strong, that line (as korny as it can be) is the truth.

 

And you should also realise that it is better for YOU to move on and find someone that cares about you!

Eaven though this is nice, I tend to believe that your feelings being dependant of another's feelings can be damaging.

PS. I hope you're not another one of those that doesn't care about himself, but only for the one that is not his...

BUT, let's not turn this into another Relationship Rant!

 

Yes I have realised that its better for me to move on, however, that is difficult as she is the only woman I find attractive at the moment. Things aren't as black and white as you think Kelvon, not when it comes to such feelings. And yes, I do have regard for myself, but caring for someone involves putting their needs before yourself, espcially if you want to make a relationship work. I have regard for myself, and I do care for myself, but I care for her more. I am not completely disregarding everything for myself as that leads me nowhere, but I still put her before myself.

 

I hope that 'uncomplete' disregard is paying off, else you should just find another one.

 

oh god... i didn't mean it to be another relationship rant thread, but it got out of hand

 

As I said, it isn't black and white, I only find her attractive, if you want more information of what I mean, check the Relationship Rant thread.

But to stay on topic, the "...as long as she's happy I'll be happy" can be true, in some cases it may just be for pride's sake, but it can be true. As I said that's how I feel about my ex. Thus, it isn't just some BS thrown out there, it can actually have some meaning behind it, and that shows that someone truly cares about another. And there's nothing wrong with that, the problem becomes when "I'm only happy as long as she's happy" which is where complete disregard for one's self comes in. But there's nothing wrong with the "...as long as she's happy I'll be happy", its needed for any serious relationship.

All jokes aside, the bottle is not a good alternative to facing one's issues, its best to contront them and learn something then just avoid them and get lost in the bottom of the bottle.

EDIT: it would seem to be turning into an RR, there isn't any other way a thread like this could go anyway.

 

Sorry I put that there, I didn't mean start drinking. I tottaly dissagree with drinking when your sad, it makes you even sader. I just tend to place a at the end of my post. I meant find another g/f.

I was just wondering, why people can't be happy whatever the situation is, I mean ok, I don't like the fact that she's not happy, I want her to be happy, but beibg sad won't help a bit. You can be happy no mather the situation and it doesn't mean you don't care about her feelings.

 

This still seems as if it should go to the Relationship Rant thread, my response is there.