Baldur's Gate High School

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Baldurs Gate 2 goes back to school

This is a little story getting retribution against all those characters
that have entertained and annoyed us, Mr. Irenicus is the teacher. and many dialogs are from the game

Mr. I: Stand
*the class stands*
Mr. I: Register, Aerie?
Aerie: Y-Yes sir
Mr. I: Anomen Delryn
Anomen: Yes
Mr. I: Cernd
Cernd: As the birds fly from location to location, I am here
Mr. I: Yes, yes, Edwin Odesserion
Eddy: You simians may merely refer to me as sir
Mr. I: Silence, dog, or you'll have no purpose but to die by my hand
Eddy: This is bad
Mr. I: Imoen
Immy: Yup
Mr. I: Jaheira, Sarevok, Minsc and *sigh* Renal Bloodscalp
*Jaheira, Sarevok and Minsc all reply*
Renal Bloodscalp: Yes, I'm still here
Mr. I: You live yet, you have come back here for years in a row, you *will* go up a class
Renal Bloodscalp: It is not fair, sir, Mae'Var got put up a year
Mr. I: Yes, but he managed to actually managed to hire the Niht knives without you noticing!
Renal BS: Ah, But that Bhallspawn took care of him.
Mr. I: He got higher grades in everything, compared to you
Renal: He was a good theif, but I never liked him, now I know why
*Imoen casts magic missile at Mr. I as he writes sums on the board*
Mr. I: Suffer you shall all SUFFER!

*Detention hall, three hours later*
Imoen: Just like old times, well except fot the torture and all
Eddy: One day, one day...
Anomen: You cannot stand the rightous arrayed against you wizard!
Eddy: Oh get a life!
*Mr. I enters*
Anomen: We shall continue this another day!
Eddy: NO! This ends now!
*Eddy casts disintergrate*
Mr. I: yes, understand what you can become
Eddy: True! I shall now read the nether scroll!
*Eddy does so and gets a free sex change*
Mr. I: I didn't mean *that* when I said see what you can become...
Eddy: I know that you moron!
Jaheira: Sorry, Edwina
Eddy: Bah! You shall pay!

Any ideas, post please, post any comments too

 

LOL great.

 

Edwin: Funny as hell. Or do you prefer a less...sylabrically-intensive workout?

 

I can visualize Irenicus as my old science teacher or my present history teacher.

 

Ah, I finally get it!
My French teacher is the reincarnation of MrI.

 

Its quite probable that all my teachers are an incarnation of him, especially my form teacher...


[This message has been edited by DinoTiggy1 (edited May 17, 2002).]

 

Will you write more? Let Edwina and Irenicus marry....

 

Hmm, interesting Idea. but Mr. I would be fired for it.

(It is a science lesson and they are disecting frogs)

Imoen: Hey, Aerie, kiss this frog and may become a prince!
Aerie: W-what? w-would it work?
Imoen: Sure! *snigger*
(Aerie kisses her frog and it turns into Keldorn)
Imoen: Sheesh, talk about rotten luck
(Edwina throws the scalpel across the room in frustration)
Edwina: Bah! Useless weapon!
Renal: I was just counting my pocket money and found I have five pence missing!
Edwina: Well I didn't take it!
Minsc: Boo doesn't seem to like the shiny biscuit...
Renal: Hey! My money!
Minsc: Ask boo nicely and he will return it!
Renal: Give my money you thieving rat!
Minsc: That is not very nice.
Mr. I: Must I be interrupted at every turn! Enough of this! Sort this out or I shall personally disect your rodent!
Minsc: I will not cry for the dead! OK, MAYBE A LITTLE, but i can not allow this, GO FOR THE EYES BOO, GO FOR THE EYES!
(Mr. I casts imprisonment, which leads to the detention room several legues under the Earth)
Minsc: Eh? where am I?
Lethinan: Well... hrrrm... We always welcome those with coin... hrrrrrrrrrrrrm...
Minsc: Boo, hand the nice gentleman the 5p
Lethinan: well.... hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm...
Minsc: Excuse me, sir, but have you got a sore throat?
Lethinan: No... hrrrrrrm... what makes you say that hrrrrrrrrm...?
Minsc: well. You keep saying 'hrrrm'
Lethinan: hrrrrrrm?
Minsc: See! There you go again!

(meanwhile.. In the lab)
Mr. I: We conclude this lesson in presuming that Frogs indeed do conduct electricity, though our main cuase was to study the internal organs of one...
(Imoen stares down at her burnt crispy frog, she had accidently cast chain lightning and all the frogs were now deep fried)
Sarevok: Do not presume
Edwina: What does that mean?
Sarevok: Sarevok stands ready
Edwina: Eh? snap out of it!
Sarevok: hmphhehehehehehehhehehehe
Edwin: somebody remove the curser over this demonic monkey! Off mouse off! stop clicking and move somewhere else!
Mr. I: There will be no further room changes, this will be the last lesson in the monitor

(Next lesson, French)
Edwina: Oh, merde!
Imoen: Hey what does that mean?
(Edmina tells them)
Aerie: I-I never knew the French knew such words!
Jahiera: Ich heiste Jaheira, Ich bin zweihundert-funfunddreizig.
Cernd: The continents drift, but that is still German, Jaheira
Jaheira: Who gives a damn! Verpissdich!
Mr. I: Enough! I will not tolerate any swearing!

(Yet again the class is in detention, Lethinan has gone with all of Minscs' money and Minsc is currently playing with Boo.)
Mr. I: Who... Who dares?
Minsc: Boo is getting squirly...
Mr. I: Minsc, you may leave, permanantly
Minsc: I long to see the fields of Rasheman
Mr. I: go, and do not return.
(Minsc leaves)
Imoen: Just like old times, well except for the torture and all
Edwina: Don't say it! Do NOT say it! I remember the last time you said that, I became this demented form!
Keldorn: My wife is currently having an affair...
Aerie: Thats a terrible thing to say Keldorn!
Keldorn: No, I saw her in the locker room.
Imoen: Ouch, I feel sorry for you Keldorn
Keldorn: Never mind, I'll get her arrested
Imoen: ?
Cernd: I had a wife once, she died
Imoen: Has everyone got a loved one except me?
Aerie: Wh-what do you mean
Imoen: well, you gat your own Romance with someone called <CHARNAME>, Cernd ahd a wife, Keldorn had a wife, Sarevok had Tomoko, Jaheira had Khalid, Minsc has Boo, and Edwina is flirting with Mr. I!
Aerie: What!
(The class looks over at Edwin and Mr. I)
Mr. I: I will note tolerate any lateness...
Edwina: Edwina do this, Edwina do that, someon get this teacher an apple!
Keldorn: Well, that was a shock, farewell, the Order beckons!
(Keldorn leaves)
(The class look at Edwina in shock as Mr. I leaves)
Edwina: What? What are you morons looking at?
Imoen: oh! Spill! Whats going on?
Edwina: Jon and I are going out on Friday, that is all.
Aerie: J-Jon?
Edwin: Mr. I to you!

Find out what happens in the next episode of BG2HS (Baldurs Gate High School)

Keep the comments coming please!

 

WOOOHOOO!!
This is some really good stuff
/me pats 8people on back

 

Heh. This stuff is good.

 

Now this, this is humor! I like it

 

Make more, make more.

 

BG2HS

(The class is in an art lesson, Mr.I is sitting at his desk silently, Imoen is flicking paint everywhere, Edwina is conjuring red paint and painting hearts on her/his canvas. Renal is stealing peoples brushes, sarevok is drawing battle plans. Aerie is painting rainbows and bunnies. Jaheira and Cernd are arguing about how to draw trees.)

Imoen: Take that, Edwina!
(Edwina cast minor paint turning)
Edwina: Hah take that you miserable wretch!
Imoen: Hey! Anyway... how'd ya date go with Mr. I?
Edwina: His name is Jon.
(Edwina blushes)
Imoen: OoooooOOOOooooh
Sarevok: You did WHAT!?
Jaheira: ... LIKE BROCCOLLI!
Aerie: P-pardon Jaheira?
Cernd: The grand oak should not suffer the tainted art of your brush, allow the squirrels who scale their branched beauty draw them...
Jaheira: What does it say here?
(Jaheira shows Carnd the writing on her brush
Cernd: 100% Squirrel-hair bristles
Jaheira: there!
Renal: Nice brush, I'll take it.
(He nabs it from Jaheiras' pocket)
Jaheira: Get here, you weasel!
Cernd: ah! The weasel, a creature that scurries to and fro...
Jaheira: Shut up you pansy!
(She casts silence on Cernd and Hold Person on Renal, she takes the brush from his hand)
Jaheira: Now, Cernd what were you saying?
Cernd:...
Jaheira: Oh... ah... silenced, I forgot.

Imoen: Aw come on, Edwina! Spill! what happened
Edwina: Nothing happened you monkey brains!
Imoen: Well, where did you go
Edwina: We went to spellhold for dinner
Imoen: SPELLHOLD!?
Edwina: What is wrong with that?
Imoen: that... is an asylum!

Aerie: W-was that the bell?
(Sarevok is hitting his head against his helmet)
Aerie: Sarevok, what are you doing?
(It turns out Edwina has controlled him and is taking his anger out on Sarevok)
Sarevok: ow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow
Mr.I: Edwina! Release Sarevok!
Edwina: Yes, of course
Sarevok: DIE WIZARD, DIE!
(Mr.I casts domination and Sarevok miraculously returns to headbanging)

Bell has gone, I gotta go!

 

now this is class entertainment

 

This is fantastic! Now I can't stop laughing and pondering about it all weekend. heeheee.

But you can do even better. I am sure

 

Yeh, well, we were both sitting next to each other in the computer room at school, and for a lunch break period its not half bad.

 

Bravo, bravo, bravo!

This is great... so great... Will Jon and Eddy continue dating after she becomes a he again?? Now that would bes omething....

Ara
(Slash is infinite)

 

I totally disagree with the idea that Sarevok has the same hobby as I have... (see my nick )

 

(The class is in PE)
Imoen: These... laps... are... really... tiring...
Aerie: I... totally... a... agree...
(Jaheira laps them)
Imoen: How... does she... do it... ?
Aerie: She... Shapeshifts into... a... wolf
(Jaheira howls loudly)
Imoen: I... see what... you mean!
Cernd: Hello ladies.
Imoen: Hi, Cernd... I gotta... stop.
Aerie: me... too.
Cernd: So why do you think Mr. Irenicus is making us run laps?
Imoen: So he can spend time with darling little Edwina.
(Sarevok and Renal are having a wrestling match while Mr. I ignores it all, Edwina is sitting next to him.)
Mr. I: Right class, lesson is over, back to the classroom! I have an announcement!
(The class troops to the classroom)
Mr. I: Right class. SETTLE DOWN! Now, I have an announcement, Edwina and I shall be away for a week and you shall have supply teachers. Mr Jansen and Miss DeVir,Miss DeVir will take you for science lessons while Mr Jansen will take you for the rest of your lessons. You shall meet them shortly, now will you excuse us, we have our wedding to attend.
(Irenicus leaves, Edwina is about to follow)
Imoen: Stop right there, what wedding are you going to with Mr. I?
Edwina: Well... Jon and I are getting married
Imoen: Ew! But he is your teacher!
Edwina: So! I don't care, I love him!
(The class hide their giggles)
Edwina: I'll leave you monkey-brains and hope your brains rot out of their skulls!
(Edwina leaves)

M. DV: Right class, settle down, I am your new science teacher while your former teacher, and classmate, are on their honeymoon. We shall do biology today
Jaheira: I bet we shall
M. DV: What is that supposed to mean, mongrel?
Jaheira: we all know what the Drow are like, either in the temple or the bedroom!
M. DV: I'll have you know that I no longer worship Lolth, so you can keep your remarks to yourself, half-breed. Today we shall learn about... Classification.
(Jaheira seems surprised expecting something else from the Drow.)

M. DV: And that concludes our lesson, next you have Tachnology with Mr. Jansen.
(The class leaves for technology. Talking on the way there.)

RBS: She is some teacher, eh?
Jaheira: Don't say you like her in the teensiest bit!
RBS: And what if I do?
Aerie: She... she is a creature of... of deceit and t-torture, no-one could like her at all!
Imoen: Hey, cool off you two, if Renal likes her it is his loss and him being stupid. Here we are at the tech room.
(The class enter Jan Jansen is there examining a turnip bomb, it blows up in his face which is now black, apart from when he lifts his goggles which leaves white rings round his eyes where the soot didn't reach.)
Mr. J: Now sit down class we are going to make a very exciting project today.
(The class look excited)
Mr. J: Yes! We are going to make Turnip Peelers!
(The class groan)

Gotta Go, there is a monstrocity I have to defeat, by the name of MooMoo

[This message has been edited by 8people (edited June 11, 2002).]

 

LOL