Battlefield news (party time)

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Ladies and gentlemen, Harlan the Apprentice, CrystalWire Network evening news service. Good evening.

Good has won again!

About four hours ago, at the hour of nine in the evening of GMT time, the armies of good consisting of chevalier prevailed over joint forces of Microshaft Windoze XT, W32.pinfi, Spyware League, IP Messenger Ad League, uninstalation leftovers and several throngs of lesser malefactors after eight hours of heavy duty melee combat, prayers, loving glances in the direction of 10'' wrench and various streams of verbal abuse representing vocabulary not supposed to be used by paladins by anyone other than paladins.

The battlefield is being cleared and has been so for over two hours now. The last survivors of the forces of evil are currently being spotted using various scrying techniques of newest design. No mercy is asked and none is given.

This information has been confirmed by the Chapter of the Order of Everful Chalice. The Grand Master himself, however, had not yet returned had to be contacted in the field by our most promising war correspondent, the young ranger Leora.

'My lord, please shed new light on the current situation for our spectators.'

'W32.pinfi and all associated viral abominations have been executed and Microshaft Windoze XT punished with full reinstallation. Needless to say, uninstallation leftovers were annihilated during the process. The threat of IP messages is now of bardic concern and pop-up ads are in retreat.'

'Rumour has it that the forces of good had a 10'' wrench at their disposal...'

'The good was coerced to resort to screw drivers, but the use of the wrench was not necessary to assure today's victory even though temptation was strong.'

'Has the threat been eliminated *totally*?'

'No, and it will never be, such is the nature of this conflict. Tomorrow I shall personally oversee the construction of a whole new line of border fortifications and the establishment of a net of magical defences including several criss-crossing globes of protection.'


'What are your plans now, m...'

'In the immediate future I intend to drink myself into oblivion. You will please excuse me, young lady. <tssk tssk>... Unless you are willing to join.' <tssk tssk>

We regret to annouce that transmission has been interrupted due to technical problems. CrystalWire Network apologises for any inconvience.

[ July 26, 2003, 13:58: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

LOL! I hope there are no ambushes, Chev, congratulations on the victory!

 

Well done Chevalier in defeating this terrible menace to cyberspace. May the bodies on many a virus be trampled under your great, smelly feet.

 

LOL. *congrats* *gives chev the everfull wine bottle*

Funny.

 

Thank you, thank you.

chevalier nestles the bottle to his plated breast

Party time!

 

I have a proposal to make! Let us all get very and insanly drunk to celebrate this victory of Chevalier over the Forces of Darkness! To the party people!

Aikanaro rocks up at Chevy's house/mansion/garbage bin with some bottles of illegally obtained booze and sets up for a grand party of special magnificance

 

Chevalier has just finished cleansing the castle of the remnants of its previous inhabitants who refused to die. After a brief ceremony during which the final glyph is placed, a new banner slowly climbs the flagstaff to the tune produced by dwarven military bagpipe band.

The very moment he decides to try and haul his weary plated cadaver to the throne room, a young man enters the room, squire at the Order of Everful Chalice, Annoyman by name:

Honoured Master, you have guests at the hall

Chevalier lets out a tormented sigh, lifts his body from the newly acquired chair and Annoyman impressed by the subsequent stream of verbal abuse rushes to hold the door open.

Aikanaro, for he is the person carrying bags of smuggled booze, and chevalier notice each other and only nod in instant mutual understanding.

Coffee! They both shout in Annoyman's general direction.

And when you are finished with coffee, you may drop a pigeon to our friends.

 

Dropping pigeons on people is hazardous to their health

runs up, nicks some booze, hides in corner,

I'm set

 

Yerril, leaping through the heavily warded window with a dashing feather in his hat, calls:

"I sense me a party! Fun n' Frolicks, etc!"

To get in the mood, he runs up the wall.

 

Arabwel is smiling wickedly, promising anyone who is brave enough to taste one of her "special mixes" that they will, under no circumstances, be able to make her liable for any physical, mental or spiritual harm, transformations or other oddities that may occur.

"So... Rajakatse anyone?"

 

Aikanaro throws the coffee cup over his shoulder the second Annoymen gives it to him and calls to Arabwel, "Hey, give me the most lethal and potent thing you've got!"

 

Alcohol is your enemy. Paladins don't fear any enemy. Mix one for me, Ara.

 

I have 4 fears! None I shall encounter here

But where's the music? We really should have some

*goes off in search of music*

 

I can play the spoons


*plays Wagners Ride of the Valkeryes in the spoons*

 

LOL, chev!

Yipes! Ara, could you mix one Rajakatse also for me? Thank you, I knew that you could.

 

*puts on some Rammstein and drinks illegally obtained booze*

 

I believe we need to call more people or this party won't last.

Chevalier tells Annoyman to call SP friends and readies himself for Ara's specialty concoction.

 

Are gate crashers with booze on their minds n nothing else allowed in?

*looks expectantly at the bottle of vodka*

 

Heh....


*starts pouring several dubious indegrents to a bowl to form a proper Rajakatse, then when it is tread starts handing the bowl around in traditional Rajakatse fashion*

Here you go!

 

Hail! I bring greetings from Canada! I apologise for my tardiness, but I just now heard about your hard-fought battle and glorious victory. I bring with me several flasks of our finest Canadian rye whiskies and wines (and cookies and milk for those not of legal drinking age and not in possession of good quality fake I.D.).

In the meantime, Ara, give me some of that Rajakatse! And why aren’t the minstrels playing?

*drinks some Rajakatse* Hey! – why does everyone all of a sudden look like Shrek?