Beautiful in my eyes no longer.

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Kind of a dumb poam that I wrote, but I feel like **** because I just went through a break up. Oh well, life does go on.

Beautiful in my eyes no longer.
Memories echo of times past
Pain fills my empty soul.
For she is beautiful in my eyes no longer
Alone I now walk,
One wonders when it will end?
When will it go away?
For she is beautiful in my eyes no longer
Or so I try and convince myself.

 

I like this sort of poems. Some sort of inner strength, or inner light - call it optimism or whatever - that makes you gather yourself and go forth despite the pain. At the same point you don't neglect the pain and don't pretend it's not there. A bit of stoical-cynical twist. Good.

Believe or not, I've spawned a few myself. Killing myself over fancy metrum just to distract thoughts from pain. Guess the flowing melody of your piece fulfils this role.

 

Thanks, not really used to getting complimented on anything I write, unless a C is a compliment.

Edit* Just noticed I misspelled "poem." Don't really feeling like editing my first post so I will warn people in this one.

 

Fade, you just need a band behind you, and you have the makings of a hit song.

It is lovely and simple. I am sorry to hear about your current pain...it is pointless for me to remind you that your pain will "fade", you may indeed carry it for the rest of you life, but be more of a person as a result!

Perhaps to maximize the rock angst potential of this song, you could write a verse about how you look with confusion at her blood on your hands...or at least include a thong!

Chin up bro, if we didn't survive heartbreak, there would be no one left in the world !

I hope you realize that I am only trying to make you smile at a time when smiles come so damn hard.

PS: your writing was damn nice, too.

 

Hum, adding me to the Thong stories would be nice, j/k. Thanks though, to be honest I doubt I would want to make a song of it, for:

a) No more creative juices
b) I can't sing