Boosville And The Stranger (western comedy)

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Inspired by Shralp and Yoda.

Episode one. The Hive
"Where is my ale". "Where is my ale". The young gambler Dargorn was pretty upset. He had just lost a few coins to an old man. He hated to loose, and then to this antiquety. "Perhaps even bloody older than this worn out saloon" . Dargorn thought. And it was old. "The Hive" in Boosville. Noone reallay knew when it was built and by whom. It had many signs of aging. Holes and cracks everywhere. Luckily it rarely rained in Boosville and the holes and cracks served as ventilation. And ventilation was needed, because this was the only sanctuary for the people of Boosville. So everyone was quite satisfied. Except the young gambler of course. He lowered his hands and unlocked his guns. He hesitated when the waitress, Kit, finally came to his table with an ale. Anything to go with that pretty?, she asked in a smooth and gentle voice, while sending sweet glances. It melted Dargorn who had been on the road for a long time. The old man ,Kailynne, took advantage and swiftly placed an ace up his sleeve. He knew he could win a lot this evening. For a moment he imagined Dargorn as a goldmine for his eyes. He made a grin and looked back at his deck of cards. Ready to make a small fortune. Up in the bar the regular drinking crowd, Headbanger, Kevlar and LordNocturne had their regular drinking competion with their regular brand of beer. Noone really knew what they did but drinking and hanging out in the Hive. But somehow they always had money to spend. Some said they worked as thugs for BTA up at his ranch. But they were mostly harmless.. Behind the counter, the barkeep Shralp listened to one of Kevlar stories. How he had gotten his name when he stopped a bullet with his bare hands. The Musician, Eveningsdrive, tried to put the right music to Kevlar's story on his piano. But it ended in a comedy. And Kevlar went mad.

Episode two. The Stranger.
It was after midnight when someone knocked on the vicar ,Mathetais', door. He lived in a small cabin with, his young squire Shadow Goddess. She ran to the door. "Easy now kiddo". Mathetais said, as he looked up from his books and watched Shadow Goddess almost step in a bucket. He then looked back in his books. Shadow Goddess opened the door. A beautiful women lifted her cowboyhat and smiled at Shadow Goddess. "Howdy" she said. Mathetais looked up again. This time a little more interested. He then said in his most polite manner "what can a humlbe vicar do to a fine cowgirl like you?" He looked at her two silver guns which shone in the candlelight from the cabin. "I'm just looking for a place to sleep, sir" Then I'll be on my way again as swift as a rattlesnake can bite. Her eyes twinkled and enthralled the Vicar. " Of course mylady. Come on in. There is a bad storm coming up. Shadow Goddess, prepare a bed for our guest!. Mathetais then poured some whine for his guest. "oh sorry. I don't drink when I work, she smiled at the vicar. He emtied the glass himself in one go. "what a woman, he thought." Outside on a hill a few hundred yards away. The Hermit, Taluntain, stood and observed the cabin. "hmmm. I smell trouble" "much trouble" His two clever vultures, Lokken and Avarahtar cirlced above him. "True! True!" they screeched. They only spoke when noone was around. Some still suspected them to be ancient magical creatures. Some knew it was true.

Episode three. Mr. Bullet
the sunsetting had been working too long and given the work over to the sunrise when Headbanger stumbled out the saloon. And banged his head on a wooden pole on the porch. Ouch! he had done it before. many times. But he kinda liked the name people had given him for it. "Heh", sounded from the street. It was Wildfire. The child of Sir Bel the rodeo master. Wilfire was out to do his chores, so he could play with his dad later on. They had moved from town to town with their rodeoshow, but BTA had given them an offer they couldn't resist and know Sir Bel worked as cattlemaster at BTA's ranch. Wildfire didn't like it. He wanted to start his own rodeoshow some day. "bugger of childzz" Headbanger stuttered. As he headed for the groceries. Breakfast Headbanger mumbled. Wildfire mumbled "heh" as he ran off. The grocerist, Extremist knew that Headbanger would come by. He always did. Extremist had prepared his best fruits and bread for Headbanger. He really cared for the guy. "Headbangers could be a fine gentleman if he wanted". Extremist, said to his wife Tjekanefir. "Now he just waste his life in that dreaded saloon." Tjekanefir agreed. They stopped their conversation as Mr. Bullet entered the shop. He was BTA's most deadly gunman. "what can we do for you, Skedaddle?, Extremist asked in a humble voice" "Just here to pick up the protection money". "You do have the 10 dollars, don't you?". Skedaddle streched the last part of his sentence far too long to be natural. "Yes sure we do." "Always a pleasure"., said Tjekanefir and smiled. All three knew it was fake, but Skeddadle didn't care. He just wanted the money. Everyone reffered to him as Mr. Bullet. But anyone calling him that up his face never woke up the next day. He was cold. And he had to be. There was always someone pushing to be BTA's most worshipped gunman. Sniper and Shura always tried to convince BTA that they were better. But none had proven it so far.

Next saturday: Episode four. Headbanger stumbles into Mr. Bullet at the Groceries.

[This message has been edited by Nobleman (edited November 03, 2001).]

 

Hehe, this is funny. But I'm more of a sniper, and i don't drink.

 

LOL! That was great Nobleman Can't wait for Episode 4



[This message has been edited by Wildfire (edited November 04, 2001).]

 

LOL. This really is a comedy.. me and breakfast... bwahahahahahaha

I'm looking forward to my next show up

[This message has been edited by Headbanger (edited November 04, 2001).]

 

I thank you for portraying me as a gambler. Indeed there is noting more fitting to reflect my rather unauthidox and rather publicl unappealing attitude and dishonest demenour. To be perfectly i loved it! well done but i have one idea to improve it.........................MORE ME!

 

I still hope that the next part of the story that obviously takes much time to write () will change me into a guy that has a goal in life

[That goal being getting as many free avatars as possible I presume?] -Tal

[Ok, because you are from Slovenia I'll try to explain it again: Ik post here to forget the perils of the Helldesk and to have something to do while working. My goal is to be happy and till now I succeed with an A+. However I hang in the pubs much like Nobleman suggests (some here should really party some more) I do more in my live... ]

[This message has been edited by Taluntain (edited November 06, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Headbanger (edited November 06, 2001).]

 

And what of the guy who lives in his beat-up old shack outside town, is a registered citizen, subscribes to the paper and frequently writes rubbish letters to the editor, but rarely swings by the Saloon and goes only by the name of...Ironbeard?

[This message has been edited by Ironbeard (edited November 10, 2001).]

 

yeah, that guy that you can't understand due to his Scottish accent

 

THESE ARE JUST MORE PRELIMINARY INTRODUCTIONS

Episode 4.
Headbanger and Mr.Bullet.
Starring; Headbanger, Silverblade, Ironbeard, BTA, Skedaddle, Extremist, Tjekanefir, Wildfire
Headbanger walked around the foggy morning to clear his mind. For once the air was full of moisture, and Headbanger figured it would rain heavily soon. The two goldminers Silverblade and Ironbeard had already prepared their goldmine from beeing flooded. They wouldn't take any risk of loosing profit over the rain, so they had put up a large thick fence at the cave entrance. BTA and some of his men had already ridden by and laughed at the two sturdy miners. "that won't hold a drop of water out", he smiled with an evil grin. BTA wanted the mine badly, but he had yet to find a way to con those two miners. Yes he was bad to the bone. Back in the city Headbanger had cleared up too much, and was now complaining over his headache as he entered the groceries. "howdy Headbanger" Skeddadle forced it through his lips without moving them. Skeddadle hated Headbanger for his lack of respect to the number one gunman. Himself. One day he would make the berk cold as ice, BTA wouldn't miss this thug. "huh. Howdy Mr. Bullet. How's your slow triggerhand doing this foggy moning, Headbanger laughed, perhaps of his attempt to make silly joke, still intoxicated." Extremist couldn't help smiling a bit too. He wasn't fond of authorities, especially not the bullying kind. Tjekanefir blinked with her eyes and when they opened, Skedaddle had pulled two guns, one aiming at Headbanger and one at Extremist. "NEVER call me Mr.Bullet, and NEVER laugh at me". Oh Lord now he is showing of again, Headbanger grunted. "heh" sounded from the backdoor. It was Wildfire who had sneaked in through the backdoor. If Skedaddle had had three hands, he would have pulled another gun, but now he had to re-aim one of his guns. He changed his aim from Headbanger, and flung the gun over at Wildfire with a horrific precision. Wildfire froze in the middle of a new "heh" and then made a big smile when Headbanger pulled the trigger of the biggest handgun that has ever been hidden in his long hair. "nooooooo" Extremist yelled, not in here. Peace here. Peace. Headbanger had hit Skedaddle in the arm, but Skedaddle had still passed out. Some gunman, Headbanger grunted. "heh" and Wildfire ran off again. "what should we do with him", Tjekanefir asked. "I dunno", Headbanger said. Lets take him out to the hermit, Extremist suggested. Everyone stood paralyzed. "No.. no.. Not him" Headbanger muttered. "He is weird", Headbanger continued. "Then you'll fit right in", Tjekanefir smiled at him. "I'll ask Xenecor for a wagon, Extremist cut through with a swift decision. "You can have him out there by midday. But When BTA finds out, there will be hell to pay." Tjekanefir said rather saddened. "but... "But he'll kill me.." Headbanger stuttered." I know", Extremist said.

Episode 5. Dargorn, becomes a celebrity.
Starring; Dargorn, Kailynne, Kevlar, LordNocturne, Shralp, Capstone
In the Saloon, Dargorn had finally pulled the plug from gambling with the smooth old man. -50 dollars Dargorn suddenly yelled out. The old man, Kailynne just smiled. Dargorn looked around and saw Kit laugh. Then to the bar where Eveningsdrive still tried to put music to the endless flood of stories from Kevlar. Kailynne then spoke, "I'll give you your money back if you can answer a riddle for me. Noone has ever done it.". He smiled. "I'll answer you bloody riddle", Dargorn yelled out in agitation. "Ok". Kailynne said. There is a green house. Inside the green house there is a white house. Outside the white house is a red house. In the red house there are a lot of babies... "HAH!" "It is a watermelon of course.", Dargorn triumphed. Very very impressive Kailynne said and handed over 50 dollars and a little note. At that very moment the Newseditor, Capstone, was just taking his morning stroll. He heard the whole episode and was quite impressed too. He had never been able to answer the riddle even though Kaillynne had put it before him a lot of times. "who might this smart cookie be?," Capstone pondered and entered. Dargorn was laughing maniacly as Capstone said "Hello, my name is Capstone, who might you be?". "I am the amazing Dargorn, a gambler from down south. "Sure you are, Shralp yelled from the counter while closing down the bar, much against Kevlar's will. And Kevlar got mad again. LordNocturne began to ramble about how he actually didn't drink and didn't party. "sure you don't, Shralp yelled again, with the intention of evryone hearing him, and pointed at the two bottles of Jack D in front of LordNocturne. Empty bottles.. Come Dargorn, I'll show you the city, Capstone said. At that moment a shot was heard from the Groceries. My dear what is going on, Capstone uttered in a surprised tone, and dragged Dargorn outside the saloon. Even Kevlar turned his head away from the counter. Just for a brief second. Later he denied everything and said he had been drinking that very moment.

Episode 6. Math goes to town.
Starring; Mathetais, The stranger, Shadow Goddess, A pony named after Sniper
Wake up Dad!!! "Shadow Goddess yelled to her Caretaker, Mathetais. "Cripps, has hell broken loose?" Mathetais mumbled and stumbled out the bed "Not, yet said the stranger who was already on her way out the door. "Not yet". "Daaaaaad" Shadow Goddess yelled. "what is it my child", Mathetais looked at shadow Goddess. "I don't know dad, Shadow Goddess giggled and ran outside to play with her pony, she had named sniper, After the young gunman at BTA's ranch.. "sniper, one day we shall ride to the horizon together, She climbed the pony and began to ride. "Oh lord that kid has energy", Mathetais spoke out loud. "She is gonna need it", the stranger said. "I'll head on. Thx for the shelter." She smiled and left the cabin on her horse. "interesting lady Mathetais thought, while he readied his wagon to drive into Boosville. It was a three hour travel.

Episode 7. keeping secrets to BTA..
Starring, Skedaddle, Tjekanefir,Extremist, Headbanger, Dargorn, Capstone,
You have to pretend you are Skedaddle and collect the money from the other shops, Tjekanefir told Headbanger. Else Someone might get suspicious and tell BTA, She continued. "Me as Mr. Bullet? But my head hurts,, I wanna sleep. And eat.... Extremist interupted Headbanger's Complaining. Just wear his black Jacket, and his black cowboyhat. And try and be a real meanie. Then I'll arrange the wagon, Come back here when you have collected the money. "But, But I am not an actor, Headbanger yelled.. and silenced as his head hurt. "But I bloody am, Dargorn screamed in a very innapropiate way forcing his way into the crowded groceries in an akward manner. Dargorn and Capstone had stormed the Groceries, to see what happened. "Oh Lord how many people can I have in my store, Tjekanefir said, while rolling her eyes. "You killed mr. Bullet", Capstone cried out in an agitated way. "No, he just passed out, Extremist said. The wound aint even deep. it's a miracle that Headbanger could miss that much, Extremist explained". I did it on purpose, Headbanger tried to explain while eating an apple he had taken from a fruitbasket in the shop. "But Don't write it in your paper, Capstone", Headbanger muttered. "BTA can't know of this, He will double the protection money or kill some of us as payment, Tjekanefir said. I can play mr. Bullet! Dargorn screamed again. You? Headbanger mumbled while he drank a bottle of water, he had taken from the storeshelf. Ok. Everybody out! NOW! This isn't a free table of pleasures, Extremist said. You'll be Mr. Bullet, Extremist pointed at Dargorn and "You" Headbanger will follow him around as you.. Just say to the suspicious storekeepers that BTA ordered both of you out to collect money this time, cause Skedaddle lost his voice from a flu. "Whow. This is complicated", Headbanger groaned.

Episode, 8. Collecting money.
Dargorn, Headbanger, Capstone, Tjek, Extremist, Xenecor, BTA
Dargorn wore Skedaddle's jacket, boots and Cowboy hat, and guns. Headbanger followed behind like a walking zombie. He needed sleep. Capstone followed even further behind just to get a great story. Extremist went to talk with Xenecor, the gravedigger, to rent a wagon. Tjek stayed and watched over Skedaddle. They had tied him up. Just if he desided to wake up. That very moment BTA rode into town after visiting the Goldmine. "Ho, Skedaddle you are late. Get moving and collect me some money, BTA ordered when he saw Skedaddle. BTA's Black stallion almost scared Dargorn but he kept his balance and yelled "I bloody collect the way I bloody collect". Headbanger stung Dargorn in the side and whispered. DON'T give BTA orders nomatter how vicious you pretend to be. "I am doing the best I bloody can", Dargorn whispered back. "What are you two whispering about!, BTA commanded to know" I'll go collect the money sir, Dargorn said in a strict tone. "I am delayed by this bozo I dug up from the bar" Headbanger stung Dargorn in the side again, this time just to protest. "OK get moving then, BTA said, And rode of.

Episode 9. "The Wagon"
Starring; Xenecor, Extremist, Taluntain, Lokken, Avarahtar
Hi Xenecor, Extremist entered the graveyard. Hi, there. Xenecor replied. There is a bad storm coming up. Xenecor said. I know, Extremist responded. He was a bit uncomfortable with the graveyard. Xenecor noticed and smiled. Why did you come out here, she asked in a warm and gentle tone. I don't get many visitors you know. "well, There is no hiding from you, so I'll just tell it out straight, Extremist said. "you always do, Xenecor replied swift. They both smiled. "well we shot Mr. Bullet." Extremist hesitated for a moment. "but he isn't dead". "You may borrow my wagon", Xenecor replied. "Where are you taking him, she continued. "Ohh. Out to the hermit," Extremist replied. "he might have some wise thing to do" On a hill a few hundred yards away the hermit, Taluntain, stood and observed, while Extremist drove the wagon away from the graveyard.. "hmmm. I smell trouble, much trouble, he whispered." Lokken and Avarahtar landed by his feet and screetched. True! Avarahtar go to town and see what happens. "yes, master" Taluntain then headed towards the desert. And Avarahtar flew away in the distance towards Boosville

Episode 10. The Treasure map.
Extremist, Skedaddle, Tiamat, Dargorn, Wildfire, Capstone
It went glorious to collect money. When they returned to the groceries Extremist stood waiting with the wagon and one gagged Skedaddle who was all but sleeping. He looked really mad and was twisting and turning. But he was tied up pretty well. He would have yelled if he hadn't goth a thick cloth in his mouth. Suddenly a girl came out of the heavy fog that had spred around town. It looked as if she was floating on the fog. Hi all. She handed over some lilies to all of them and went off. "Flowers makes you feel better, with love from Tiamat" she gigled from the distant. What a sweet girl, they agreed. a "heh" sounded from the distance too. Wildfire had chosen to spy on the girl. Somehow he knew he didn't get all his chores done today. But his dad, Sir Bel, wouldn't care much. "With the shooting of Mr. Bullet and all", Wildfire thought and followed the girl into the deep forrest filled with thick fog. Dargorn took the liberty of looking at the note he had gotten from Kailynne. "search the big red stone in the entrence of the goldmine. Here lays a treasure map." This is a bloody map to a treasure map, Dargorn thought to himself. "Guys!"I have gotta go puke for no apparent reason, Dargorn screamed, and ran of. Capstone wasn't slow to follow. He still wanted a story about this smart newcomer. Extremist and Headbanger then rode towards the Hermit's cave far out in the desert.

Some of the episodes on next saturday. Wildfire gets lost. Sir Bel makes a search team to find his lost child. But it gets weird, A magical creature saves the day.
Dargorn can't get Capstone of his back so he can go and search the Treasure for himself. The treasure hunt gets even more worsened when the mine is flooded by heavy rain.
BTA Turns the town inside out in search of Skedaddle. Mathetais save Kit, from his claws


[This message has been edited by Nobleman (edited November 10, 2001).]

 

Yeah Skedaddle, EAT THAT!

Lol! Nobleman, you are writing a fabulous story. Only a few things that are terrible wrong:

1. I never have a headache, no matter what I drunk last night.
2. I never drink water
3. I never eat apples
4. When I had to choose like in the story I would fire at Wildire Ah maybe that was the reason that I missed Skedaddle's heart so much

 

Heeheeheehee
Great stuff.
I particularly like the character list at the start to save egotists the time sanning for their own names...not that I'm one of those people of course
Well, I'm happy. I imagine my stupidity has a large role next week.


[This message has been edited by Ironbeard (edited November 12, 2001).]

 

Hmm no role for me in the next week? Maybe I am the magical creature?

 

I don't get my character .... a humble vicar who loves to read but is easily distracted by a beautiful woman .... ????

LOL - I never knew you understood me so well!

 

Math, that's because it hasn't been Sunday in the story yet

A vicar needs to be very patient .... even when it is about girls

 

Who said I was energetic?! And *who* said I had a freakin pony named Sniper?! Sheesh... ... and *who* said... who was the stranger?

 

I am so OOC it's not even funny... I do not giggle. I do not spread happiness. I do not give flowers. Nevertheless, it's a good story.

 

Shadow G: You have no poney called Sniper
Timat: You like grilling

so.... The solution is simple:

In the next chapter, Tiamat is grilling Sniper, SG's pony!

 

Wha's this!?

Me + groceries? ROTFL

Now that is the real freedom of imagination...LOL

Hey, I like my wife part! Keep it up!

 

Great story, love what you've done with Tal and BTA, and Lokken a vulture. heh Lokken is Tals Biotch lol