Charge! (No! Stop that!)

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Dateline: The Isle of Dereth... about yesterday

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Sometimes having powerful friends is annoying. They lounge about, dancing little jigs in front of monsters that would shred you in the blink of an eye. They strut about like cocks-of-the-walk who would rather... ahem. Sorry.

But on occasion it comes in handy.

Cliff loved his new axe. He actually ran faster when he was holding it. It sliced through things more easily than his other axes (even the fancy one enchanted with acid). It gave him a pleasant gooey feeling. Teamed with his favorite round shield, he was certain he could lop off the head of any monster of Dereth. Well, given time. Cliff wasn't the patient sort.

Actually, neither was Lily. In fact, Lily made Cliff look like his feet were bolted to the ground. An archer in light blue, very feminine armor, Lily was apt to charge in where level 130 uber mages fear to tread. Cliff had tried to be patient. He tried to explain to her that as an archer she should stand at a distance and pick things off while he did the grunt work up close and personal. He tried to persuade her that one should look to see if a monster had powerful friends nearby before attacking. And he thought that, with the help of Clatterwick, he had succeeded.

Clatterwick was a cook. More, he was a cook with a crossbow. Clatterwick was patient. Clatterwick was devious. Clatterwick could puncture an ursuin at 50 paces before it had a chance to breathe. But Clatterwick was a cook. He couldn't dodge, or run, or... well, he was a cook. And a damn good one. His fish noodles would revitalize the most weary fighter in Dereth and have him ready for the next pack of mosswarts.

And this time, Clatterwick had a plan.

He had been wandering around the outskirts of the Aluvian capital city, Cragstone, when he came upon a portal. The old wizard Asheron had put these up all over Dereth, but this one went down to a place labelled only "A dark cave." Curious.

But, as Clatterwick was, after all, only a cook, he decided to recruit some more adventurous folk to help him explore. A quick call brought Cliff and Lily to Cragstone from their vacation spot in the Sho capital, Hebian-to.

"What's the word, Clatty?" Cliff asked as he ran up to the statue at the middle of town, the friends' preferred meeting spot.

"Well, there's this cave, and..."

"Ah, say no more, worthy cook. We shall smite whatever lives there so hard that their ancesors feel it! Now where is that woman?"

Lily came running up, gasping for breath. "Sorry I'm late. I had to talk to some of my vassals." Lily had been building herself up to Baronet status by recruiting citizens to pledge their allegiance to her. She hoped to parlay this success into some prestige in Dereth and perhaps even a nice castle. Clatterwick sniffed at such social climbing.

The three cast a few protective spells on themselves (and a speed spell here and there to get them to the cave faster) and were off. Cliff had his new axe at the ready. Clatterwick had donned a coat made from the hide of an ursuin. And Lily prepared some frog crotch arrows for maximum damage.

On the way, the group stumbled across an old barn. A few of the cat-people, drudges, had taken it over from an Aluvian farmer who had long-since fled. Cliff started to creep up on the two hiding in the barn when he heard the twang of a bowstring. Two, actually. The drudge fell dead before him as its companion wheeled and began throwing knives at Cliff. Axe singing in the air, Cliff threw himself into the barn, knocked aside an oncoming knife with his shield, and slew the remaining drudge.

Outside, there came the sound of frightened cats. Cliff dashed around the corner to see two more drudges falling prey to Clatterwick and Lily.

"We," Cliff said as he wiped the blood off his axe, "need to work on our communication. I was about to kill the first one when you alerted his buddy with your twangy arrows! We could have split them up and taken them both at once."

All agreed that this was a wise plan and would be followed from now on. The journey to the cave continued. Well, except for some sightseeing.

"Oooh, look," Lily said. "Wood golems."

"Shouldn't be a problem. Let's get 'em." Cliff was usually up for mindless slaughter. He charged, hoping that the archers wouldn't kill the two unsuspecting golems before he got there.

The golems roused themselves at Cliff's heavy tread and wheeled to face him. After a few swings of his axe, Cliff realized that the two golems had help. "Crikey! There's a mite here!" The miniscule creature had escaped detection and now was attacking Cliff with its race's formidable dexterity and speed while the golems whaled on him from above. And the archers sat safely at a distance. At about that time, Cliff also noted that he had forgotten to put on his heavy armor. So did the golems.

Click. Whooosh. No matter how many times he died, Cliff always froze a little. It was scary. Asheron had set up a system that reincarnated a fellow who had been killed back at the nearest "lifestone," but you never knew when it was going to fail or if you had forgotten to touch a lifestone recently. In this case, Cliff found himself back in Hebian-to.

"Crikey." He had a run ahead of him. Lily and Clatterwick had succeeded in killing the golems and the mite, so when he caught up with them ("What the heck? Ursuins in the barn now? Let me kill them real fast."), Clatterwick gave him the items and money he had dropped on his corpse. Cliff looked at his old body and shuddered. "I still can't get used to that."

Fortunately, the cave was just up the hill. The group looked around and then took the portal in.

The dusty cave was lit by a few torches. A few reed mats lay on the ground. And just barely visible off to the side was a tall, lanky monster with the coloring of a snake and a head shaped like a bald cat. "Banderlings," Clatterwick muttered. Clatterwick had a dislike for the squishy-skinned creatures. All three of them were using piercing and slashing weapons, so they were ok, but a poor schmuck wielding a war hammer or a staff would be hard-pressed unless he was very, very good.

Cliff edged around the corner until the banderling saw him. Then he drew back into the room as the creature charged. Soon, it was taking hits from an axe, a bow, and a crossbow. It went down.

Then its friends showed up.

Cliff, as he tried to plug the entrance into the room, was hit by six banderlings who materialized from the shadows. Still weak from his recent death, his swings came slowly. The steady twangs of the archers behind him were comforting, but Cliff knew it was only a matter of time before a banderling got through to one of them. Finally, one did, and Cliff chased it down before it could reach Lily. The others poured through the gap as reinforcements arrived.

Just as Cliff caught the first to break through, another hit him from behind. Hard.

Click. Whooosh. "Oh, look. Hebian-to again." Then there was a purple glow as Lily arrived at the lifestone too.

"Ouch," she said as she brushed herself off and checked her armor for dents. "That was a lot of banderlings." The two promptly started off for the cave, hoping that Clatterwick had survived and picked up the items off of their badly beaten corpses.

A shout stopped them. "Hey! We all died!" Sure enough, Clatterwick was charging toward the cave from Cragstone. Not a good sign.

They stopped to cast more protective spells on themselves and each other and began the run again. There were more monsters in the barn this time, but the group ignored them in their haste to get back to the cave. They didn't want the banderlings to loot their corpses.

Once in, they used stealth to sneak up to where they had died. No banderlings noticed, so they quietly grabbed their belongings. Clatterwick was done with this place and bolted for the exit portal. "I've got to... um... walk the dog."

Cliff rolled his eyes at the cook and looked to Lily. She clearly did not fancy another tango with the banderlings.

"Look. We'll just smack one or two around, draw them in here, and run to the exit if we get in trouble. Banderlings can't use portals." Cliff was trying to be persuasive. Finally, Lily bought it.

Cliff peered around the corner. A single banderling turned slowly, caught sight of the axe-wielding human, and charged. This time, Cliff backed fully into the room. The banderling was dead from arrows before it got four paces. And, even better, it hadn't alerted its friends.

Cliff edged forward. Lily followed close behind.

Then the camp descended on them. Lily held her ground, but finally had to break and run. Cliff slew one who chased her, but then started getting hit from behind again. Just before the exit portal, they made another stand and more banderlings fell. Finally, Lily could take no more and exited, shouting for Cliff to follow. Ever the foolhardy adventurer, Cliff lovingly placed a few more strokes on a particularly obnoxious banderling and then dove for the portal.

As he hit the ground outside panting, he looked up. Lily was feeling much the worse for wear, and Cliff had only barely made it out alive. So he pulled out a healing kit, bungled his first attempt, and then brought himself to full health and did the same for Lily.

When she was feeling better, she giggled. "That was so fun!"

"Fun?!? You freakish misfit," Cliff muttered under his breath. "We almost died." He shrugged it off. "Let's hunt on the way back."

The two saw a huge mattekar off to one side. He was almost alone, but he had some friends behind him at a little distance. The three-legged white beasts were tossing their huge horned heads and ruffling the thick white hair that made them trophy animals all over Dereth. Coats made from mattekar hides are prized even more than those from ursuins.

"Ok, here's the plan. You hit the lone mattie with an arrow. I'll stand in front of you to intercept when he charges. But if his three friends up the hill hear us, we break and run." Cliff salivated at the thought of a matterkar robe. Lily agreed.

Twang. The first mattekar looked startled that the pair had interrupted its grazing. It charged. And bellowed.

From up the hill, the herd of mattekars heard and began stampeding towards Lily. Cliff had just enough time to yell "run!" before the first mattie was upon him.

Lily, apparently, had gone deaf.

She held her ground, pumping arrows into the lead monster until the last second. Then she turned tail. After an epic chase in which Cliff and Lily criss-crossed and backtracked (Cliff valiantly let Lily run ahead so he would be the first attacked) while avoiding other monsters on the plain, the mattekars gave up and went back to grazing.

Lily giggled again. Cliff was getting tired of that. "That was fun," she laughed. "Let's hunt some more."

A few clicks east another mattekar sat near a pack of reedsharks. The pair had killed the fast iguana-like creatures singly, but in a herd their razor-sharp teeth would likely prove too much. And they had a reedshark chieftain with them. Definite trouble.

Still, reedsharks don't care much for mattekars and wouldn't protect one if they themselves weren't threatened. Cliff suggested the same course of action as before. He circled around so that he was on the other side of the mattekar from the pack of reedsharks. Lily agreed to the plan.

And charged right into the reedsharks.

Cliff was astounded. He could only stare as she nocked her bow and immediately fell to the ground, stone cold dead, as the pack of reedsharks devoured her. Then they turned toward him.

"Whoa! Friend axe, it is time to leave!" Cliff sprinted off in the opposite direction, barely keeping his boot heels from the snatches of the lizards. He detoured to avoid several more monsters in the area before the reedsharks gave up and went back home.

Cliff crept back to Lily's body. The reedsharks were still near, but now they had been joined by banderlings. There were only three, so Cliff edged forward. One charged, and Cliff took him down quickly. Then the other two joined in.

Click. Whoosh. "Damn!" Apparently the banderlings had been eating their Wheaties.

Lily was still at the lifestone at Hebian-to. Cliff glared at her, "I thought we were going to DRAW the mattekar out!"

Lily looked abashed, "Sorry."

"You ran right into the reedsharks! They were right there! How could you not see them?"

"Sorry."

Then Cliff noticed why Lily hadn't left the lifestone. Standing next to her was her fiancee, Flaming Tiger. Tiger laughed, "Problems with a body recovery?"

"Well, yes."

"Where?"

"Outside of Cragstone."

Tiger laughed again. "I'll help." With that he began casting spells. Suddenly Cliff felt stronger and faster. He was rejuvenated. Even his axe felt lighter in his hand. Its blade seemed to cry out to sink into reedshark flesh. Flaming Tiger was a mighty mage and an expert in hand-to-hand combat. He offered to come along.

Lily batted her eyes. "Tig, dear. I have to go... um... walk the dog. Would you mind getting my stuff too?" Cliff retched into his helmet as Tiger fell for the blatant manipulation. Not wanting to lose the advantage of having a seasoned adventurer along for the body recovery, he kept quiet.

The trip to the body was uneventful. Once there, Flaming Tiger attracted the attention of every monster in the area. They charged him, but he dodged and twisted such that not one could lay a finger, claw, or tooth on him. Cliff just picked one of the pack, sliced him up as the others continued to attack the Tiger, and then moved onto the next. After a little axe work he chugged a stamina potion and went back to it, but there were no challenges here. At one point, Tiger even started to do a dance step as he dodged.

"Freaking show off," Cliff muttered. Even though Tiger was younger than him by over a decade, Cliff had to respect his prowess, if not his taste in women.

After they reclaimed the possessions, Cliff had an idea. "Tiger, you've really got to do something about that girl of yours. She keeps charging into packs of monsters and getting me killed."

Tiger laughed. "But she's so cute."

Sometimes having powerful friends is annoying.

[This message has been edited by Shralp (edited July 25, 2002).]

 

Nice story, keep posting.

 

That was great Shralp! Think I'm going to go play AC now

 

LOL!!

You are THE MAN!!!

Lily thanks you from the bottom of her pale blue armor for making her famous...

 

lol...the funny part is that's really how it happened

 

Tig...uh, Rizzil? Could it really be?

/me peeks over Rizzil's shoulder looking for the lifestone

Funny. This doesn't *look* like Hebian-To.

Here I am frantically tapping my strafe and arrow keys so I can stand close to you...but to no avail!

Lol, glad to see you here, anyway!

 

/me plops a lifestone down...and looks around his new home.

I like it here

 

Yeah, I keep trying to cast "Heal Other 5" on Damona whenever I see her name, but it don't help.

 

It doesn't seem to help much IG either. Two words: Magma Golem.

 

lol, that was a pretty bad day for fighting...but I had a lot of fun taking one out nekkid

I'll try to keep my heals tabs away from my drains too...

 

...and your BSD well away from your sub?

 

who...? me? never...

 

That wasn't you that facilitated that little adventure?

Not you: sub!

Me: ooh, no this isn't. Where a...TUSKERS!!! *chomp chomp* OW! *woosh* Hello Mr. Lifestone.

Not you: Oops. I think that was BSD.

Me: Yay! I finally got to go to BSD! Now can you collect my body please?

 

ummm...huh..well...you see...*scratch head*...it *might* have been me, but I would never do such a thing!

 

Not that the above story had anything to do with the truth....

 

of course not...

 

Liars!

 

*points to shralp*

 

Cliff wasn't sure what to think of the pointy-eared creature that appeared before him. Being an Isparian he had never before seen an elf, much less one able to cast spells without focii or tapers or scarabs.

Lily didn't look like she was about to charge into the fray, and Flaming Tiger was nowhere to be seen. Cliff felt alone against this strange new being.

He caressed his axe contemplatively. "Well, sorcerer, we shall have to lop off a finger or two and see if you can still cast spells."

[ August 16, 2002, 19:20: Message edited by: Shralp ]