Chinese Proverbs

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Ok my young grasshoppers, read on and find wisdom from thses Chinese proverbs I have collected for you.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is *right*; war determine who is *left*.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Thought you'd all benifit from that wisdom. Add you're own Chinese proverbs if you like.

 

As the Chairperson of Asianess in #sorcerers, I must say they're very Chinesey.
(except not at all)

 

You've still got it, Kitrax.

Though I have nothing quite as witty as those to add, I feel the need to quote an ancient Chinese curse:

 

Calgon - ancient Chinese secret.

 

ahhh... these are not chinese proverbs becasue i never heard of them, in chinese.

 

Yeah I was hoping real ones too. Damn.

 

I heard an old Chinese Malediction that translated to "I curse you that you be born again in an important time!"

 

Those are funny

 

Yes, they are funny. I wonder what they were in chinese though, and whether it was meant to be that funny. Then maybe some of us will recognize a few of them.

 

Well, they're 'chinese' in the sense of probably being made up within the last ten years or so with the intent of sounding like wise chinese aphorisms, and are in fact an assortment of puns of varying quality.

Unlike "The worst of all Chinese curses: May you outlive all your children." (according to David Morrell, Brotherhood of the Rose)

or

"To learn without thinking is labour in vain. To think without learing is desolation."

"Do not be concerned about others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others."

"Clever talk and a pretentious manner are seldom compatible with the benevolent."

"Nowadays, to provide for parents is considered filial piety. But dogs and horses are so provided. Without respect, what is the difference?"

"Exploring the old and deducing the new makes a teacher."

(All per Confucius from the Lun Yu's first two chapters)

 

I've always liked "He who expects the worst is never disappointed"

 

I studied Chinese, let me share a few things.

Who's been eating all the pies= Yo Fat Wan Kah
England will win the worldcup= No Fu Kin Wai
Give it to me baby= Suk Mai Dong
Great= Fa Kin Su Pah
Your body odor is offensive= Yu Stin Ki Pu
He's cleaning his automobile= Wa Shing Ka
Staying out of sight= Lei Ying Lo
Our meeting is next week= Wai Yu Kum Nao
This is a tow away zone= No Pah King
Thought you were on a diet= Wai Yu Mun Chin
I think you need a facelift= Chin Tu Fat
I bumped the coffeetable= Ai Bang Mai Nee
Did you go to the beach= Wai Yu So Tan
Small horse= Tai Ni Po Ni
Stupid man= Dum Gai
See me asap= Kum Hia
Are you harboring a fugitive= Hu Yu Hai Ding
That's not right= Sum Ting Wong

 

You are a genius indeed!

 

@Pac man



I am almost crying...

Can't stop laughing

 

Well, that almost killed the humor here...untill Pac Man added his post...and now the humor is back, and better than before!

 

LOL @ Pacman!
My favorite one from that list was

because it sounds so the most Chinesy, and could almost be an authentic Chinese name!

 

Damn Pacman =))

Isn't that the name of a Hong Kong movies star?

 

He who go to bed with itchy hiney wake up with smelly fingers.

...remember that one from elementary school...