Conservative love poetry

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Verse 1:

My mother said
If you want to know love
You must define in a word
All the ideals that you covet
As she had advised
I succinctly summarized
Within a single motif
The secret dreams that we seek.

I see your face
And you look like Yesterday.
There's a timeless attraction in the way
That your smile
And your eyes reconcile
Past and present together.
The future can wait.

I've been impressed
By the way that you're dressed
And how you carry yourself
Cool and calm and unstressed.
You smoothly move with a grace
That sets the rest in their place
Approaching all with a taste of
Yesterday.

Bridge:

Some people say
We should wait for Tomorrow.
Some people say
We should live for Today.
But I'm convinced
That I know Yesterday
Each time I look in your eyes
Each time I echo your voice
Each time I hold you in my arms.
My Yesterday today.

Verse 2:

Our memories
Are just dreams of the past
Refined by heart and by mind
And blessed with imagination.
When I hear your name
I know that you're still the same.
You bring the best of the past
But with a truth that will last.

I hear your voice
And you sound like Yesterday.
Besting all with the witty repartee
That you wield
And you never would yield
Any verbal advantage.
The future can wait.

Your melody
Plays its own harmony
Echoing each careful word
Deftly and lyric'lly.
Your conversation astounds
Beneath discretion's tight bounds,
Resounding all with a touch of
Yesterday.

You are my Yesterday.

 

You've apparently succeeded in what not many have - I like this poem so much that I'm not going to single out mistakes and poke you as I normally would

Well, in all seriousness: two or three lines might appear a syllable or two too long, but the whole has a classy cadence and reads well.

Surprisingly, it's possibly not as conservative as intended The way general picture is linked together in some places resembles what I've seen in haiku. Nice idea. I've been thinking about trying that with Latin.

Of course, it's still clearly visible where your vote falls

To finish off this incoherent collection of loose sentences on my part, it looks professional. One could take you for a long-published guy. Especially if you trimmed the long lines

 

Thanks, chevalier! Well, I hate to leave you without a valid target, so here's a ballad my roommate and I sang to a roomful of girls at the last church retreat. (It's funnier if you know the original song.)

-----------

(to the tune of "All in All")

You are the one I like the most,
You are the butter on my toast,
Will you go out with me?
You are the pop-tart of my meal,
Syrupy-sweet you make me feel,
Will you go out with me?

Marcie, my true love,
Please go out with me!
Marcie, turtledove,
Please go out with me!

You are my seventh-inning stretch,
You are the fish I'd love to catch,
Will you go out with me?
You are my winning touchdown throw,
Star of my halftime highlight show,
Will you go out with me?

Marcie, my true love,
Please go out with me!
Marcie, turtledove,
Please go out with me!

Driving with you is ecstacy,
You are my sporty SUV,
Will you go out with me?
Driving with you is never drab,
You are the gunrack on my cab,
Will you go out with me?

Marcie, my true love,
Please go out with me!
Marcie, turtledove,
Please go out with me!

[edit: Y'know, before anyone gets the wrong idea -that second verse was written well before the Super Bowl nonsense.]

 

Nice. So nostalgically cuteass-sweetass

Well, really. Like puppy love. Even from the beginning "I like you the most" Hehe...

I can't fully appreciate the butter on your toast metaphor, but that's probably because of cultural difference.

So, how did the lasses like it?

 

The lasses loved it, of course! Even the "butter on my toast" metaphor. That isn't peculiarly American - it's just peculiar.

Since I can't leave well enough alone, I've dredged up another Valentine's Day poem - I wrote this one in my Valentine-free pre-college years. It was an experiment - the second and ninth lines rhyme, the third with the eighth, etc. I haven't written any poems like that since...go figure. The "Mt. Ranier" line still makes me cringe. Ugh!

----------

I dreamed again of you last night.
You stood upon a rocky shore
a fierce wind streaming through your hair
and arms extended to the sea
as though the stars were in your reach.
I struggled vainly for the beach -
the siren call was meant for me -
and left the surf to meet you there
and almost made it there before
the vision changed.

I dreamed again of you last night.
You held the nations in your hands.
All loved, admired, praised, adored
their precious queen. And there was I,
alone outside the ivory tower,
until the moment, day, and hour
that you'd emerge and catch my eye,
and for a second my heart soared
to catch that glance. But time demands
that visions change.

I dreamed again of you last night.
Locked deep within a dungeon's tomb
awaiting execution; still,
you hoped to see the coming knight
to set you free. I fought the guards,
broke down the door, turned chains to shards
and pulled you out into the light.
With body weak, but iron will
your eyes defied what darkness doomed,
and visions changed.

I dreamed again of you last night.
We both were climbing Mt. Ranier
a thousand feet above the ground.
We leaned against an icy wall
while edging up the cliffside, slow.
A rope was strung between us so
if one of us should chance to fall
we'd be supported, safe and sound
all through the climb. We used that gear
'til visions changed.

Insistent daylight fades the dreams
and I awoke to find the night
had come and gone. I did not miss
the dreams, for they had base in truth.
You were the one of which I dreamed
the one from whom the visions streamed.
No dream of you could e'er improve
your own perfection. I know this
when I just stare at your eyes' light.
My dream unchanged.

 

Wow, I'm speechless.

A lot better than my love poetry:

Roses are red...

 

I must conclude that you are a cunning beast, sir

That's probably because I'm all so much about form... I like fancy cadence, fancy rhymes, fancy versification... It's good to see people can write even if writing about subjects seemingly irrelevant in the scale of eternity

Another thing I see is that you're another paladin freak to our collection

A bit surreal, a bit symbolic, a bit expressive, a bit introspective, a bit thoughtful... hard to associate with a specific style, which is a very good thing to say about a poem, if you ask me Just getting a good poems and not giving a damn for labels you get and standarised patterns you're supposed to follow. Good.

 

Since this thread has devolved into a "Grey Magistrate boasts about his poetry" ramble, earning me this title, I guess it wouldn't hurt to post another one, though I've posted it before; nothing so conservative as repressed love!

--------------

And as I look in your eyes
I see a shadow abandoned
Long ago by my foolish pride
If I could undo unwise
Decisions made and regretted
Perhaps other plans could have been tried...

Choices and consequences
First to last
Our decisions
Ends and means
That we risked and tried
For though we may try to
Escape the past
Our decisions
Set in stone
Cannot be denied

And at the sound of your voice
I hear the whisper of thunder
Far away on a distant shore
And though we both made the choice
To tear connections asunder
Perhaps we were too hasty before...

Measure the benefits and
Weigh the costs
Our decisions
Are the price
Of the lives we lead
We hardly understand
What we have lost
Our decisions
Sacrifice
What we dare concede

And at the touch of your hand
I feel the shock of remembrance
Open wounds that you once had burned
And though we both understand
That we can never risk romance
Perhaps we should have never returned...

We craft illusions that
Conceal in vain
Our decisions
Cannot hide
Behind what we say
These weak delusions that
Deceive in vain
Our decisions
Circumscribe
Options left today

And at the scent of your hair
I breathe the air of suspicion
That surrounds all our broken dreams
And though we both may still care
That hardly gives us permission
Perhaps this is not quite as it seems...

We curse the darkness that we
Helped create
Our decisions
Made in haste
Obligate us still
Though in our weakness we may
Hesitate
Our decisions
That we faced
Still command our will

And at the taste of your kiss
A bittersweet resignation
Pacifies all my doubts and fears
And has it all come to this?
Are we still slaves to temptation?
Perhaps this never will disappear...

For we ourselves have coldly
Forged these chains
Our decisions
Wrought each link
That binds us today
Though we may dream our dreams
There still remains
Our decisions
That compel
Us to act this way

 

It is almost as if you two are pming each other back and forth but allowing others to read and add stupid comments. (me)


I finally 'got it' after I stopped reading them like a normal poem and just let them flow off the tip of my tongue. Is this why you called it conservative poetry? (hint: I dont know what conservative means in the sense of poetry, please explain to me)

 

Oh, don't be so self-deprecating - no flattering compliment will be considered stupid! But it is kinda like chevalier and me are pming each other...it's almost indecent. Think of the countless lurkers rolling their eyes with each new post.

I called these "conservative" poems self-mockingly because of the themes, not the style. The first one is in praise of a girl named "Yesterday", and conservatives tend to be backward-looking traditionalists. I'd never seen a love song to celebrate this, so I thought it was high time to write something new to toast the old. (Plus, my Morrowind character is named "Athanasia Yesterday" - the undying yesterday, get it?) The second parodies a Chrisian praise-and-worship song, and conservatives often are religious. The third one invokes sexist, hierarchical themes like royalty and rescuing a damsel in distress. And the fourth one practically screams "original sin".

Why should I have all the fun? C'mon, post one of yours!

 

I didn't mean to come off so self-deprecating. The first was a compliment to you and a joke on myself (only I can get mad if I'm the taget of my own jokes). I didn't mean to put stupid in the second post but only after I logged off did I realize that I should have put random.

Only the unwritten
Poem can be considered
Foolish

Edit 2: Only if sp showed how many times a thread had been viewed would we know how many lurkers there actually are.

edit: fixed grammatical errors / made it sound better

 

@Grey...

Just caught up with your Conservative poems...

I have just returned from firing my (lawfully licensed) handgun into the air and adjusting the gunrack on my pickup.

Thanks for the moments.

 

I'll throw in a poem then, if no one else will. I'm afraid I dont quite qualify for that kinda conservative love poetry, but I'll try the stylistic approach I've been practicing lately. Latest creation turned out like this.

You came to my walls,
Cast them down
Exposed my dark halls,
Am I found?

A beauty divine,
Oh! So fair!
Desire you be mine,
We a pair.

For eons alone,
Brings despair
Where hope should have shone,
Nothing's there.

Restored it has been,
By your grace
Forget now our sin,
Love we face.

 

Yes, but in some conservative instances, like for Shrub, you have to look pretty far backward -all the way back to Planet of the Apes (or is that our future?).