Darwin Awards

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You guys (and gals) know about the Darwin Awards? They're awarded to people who, um, remove themselves from the gene pool. This is usually achieved through death.

This one guy decided to end his life in a fail-safe manner. He found a tree at the side of a cliff, and tied a noose around it. Then he doused himself in gasoline, drank poison, put the rope around his neck, and got his .357 ready. When he deemed himself ready, he jumped off the cliff, and pulled the trigger. The gunshot set off the gasoline.

However, our friend miscalculated one thing. The jerk from the noose through off his shot. The bullet sailed over his head and severed the noose. He fell all the way down the cliff face and into an icy river. The river put out the flames, and the shock made him vomit up the poison. So, it seems that he is once again safe.

He died of hypothermia in the hospital.

 

ROFLMAO!!!

Yeah, I think buddy deserved to win there. I've always thought those were hilarious, but I can't remember them. Got anymore? Anybody else remember the past winners of this prestigious award

 

Mithril, I have tons of Darwin Awards.

How about the guy who was waiting for a train, got impatient, and leaned over the barrier to see if it was coming? Tee-hee, he lost his head

 

sadistic humor is good and all, but that one that you told us about, sapiryl, i find it a bit too disturbing.

 

A pity he wasn't more headstrong..

 

Aaaah, the Darwin Awards. I have a good one. It's from the "criminal Darwin Awards", given to stupid crooks!

A Charlotte, NC man having purchased a box of very rare and very expensive
cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having
smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first
premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance
company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires". The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
reason:
that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The man sued......and won!
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed that the claim was frivolous.

He stated nevertheless, that the man held a policy from the company in
which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed
that
it would insure against fire, without defining what is considered to be
"unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000.00 for the rare cigars
he had lost in the "fires".

HERE COMES THE BEST PART!!
After the man cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested
on 24 counts of ARSON!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the
previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally
burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a
$24,000.00 fine.
This is a true story and it won 1999's Criminal Darwin Award.

 

Egg, I agree, it is disturbing. Death is disturbing, but sometimes the manner in which death is achieved can be hilarious. If I die stupidly, I want to win a Darwin Award.

Tempting God:
During a major huricane(I don't remember which), a lawyer and two of his friends went fishing on a lake. You see, the eye of the storm had appeared, and they thought that it was over. While they were out on the lake(in a boat of course), the eye passed. Immediately, the storm kicked up worse than before. When chain lightning up to twelve miles long appeared in the sky, the lawyers two friends shouted that they should return to shore. The lawyer disagreed, and standing up he shouted, "GOD, TAKE ME!"

Immediately, he was struck by lightning and killed.

His two friends made it to shore alive.

TRUE STORY