Dear tech support

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Dear Tech Support:

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up
a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during
system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Golf 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Sunday Football 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn't work on this
program.

Please help!

 

LOL

Looks like your only option is to format the entire system.....

 

More senseless bashing of the sexes...Have a good Friday... :

Two new additions to the periodic table of elements:
Element Name: WOMANIUM
Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing; and may freeze any time.Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left waiting. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Element Name: MANIUM
Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape
easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as younger samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source.Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins
to smell.

 

Bel - LMAO!!!!!

 

LOL at both! Think I once found a site where you can download many such jokes as the two above, b0ut it's been lost.

[This message has been edited by Mollusken (edited September 07, 2001).]

 

LOL! That is a great joke, though I saw it before on an old joke thread I believe.

 

Here's a joke that one of my friends mailed me recently:

A language professor was teaching her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are gramatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House" in french is feminine -- la maison. "Pencil" in french is masculine -- le crayon. One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The French teacher didn't know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun, she split the class into two groups, by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be masculine or feminine noun. Both groups were required to provide 4 reasons
for their recommendations.

The men's group decided that computers should
definitely be the feminine gender (la computer), because:

1) No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2) The native language they use to communicate is incomprehensible to
everyone else.
3) Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval.
4) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (le computer) because:

1) In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2) They have alot of data, but they can't function on their own.
3) They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem.
4) As soon as you commit yourself to one, you realize that if you waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better
model.

Enjoy

BTW this is for Extremist: Heh!

[This message has been edited by Wildfire (edited September 07, 2001).]