Don't know if this has been done before....But

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If you could have any one spell at your disposal in real life, with unlimited use, what would it be?

Me: Invisibility or Time Stop
(I can just think of all kinds of fun uses for these! I told you I'm not a paladin in real life! )

How about you?

 

Finger of Death with no saving throw available.
Then I could walk into a church and cast it repeatedly. Then walk into a police-station and do the same. Save one for the fucking Prime ministerof Singapore and one for myself.

 

That's a great way to turn into a Lemure or Rutterkin, Shura!

 

Muahaha, Domination, no saving throw.

 

Finally, a form to suit me then.

 

Blecchh!!

No-o-o-o!

Being a Rutterkin or Lemure is UGLY, and worse of all they are MINDLESS!

What you need is to get away from it all and calm down and enjoy the great things in life. Maybe a visit to Arborea or the Beastlands would be nice. Fresh air, nice breeze, everything peaceful, no damn jerks around....aaahhh...paradise.

 

Improved Invis., Time Stop, Teleport w/out error, Poloymorph Self, Power Word Kill (heh heh, just for those annoying people. j/k)

I would like any one of those. I just thought I'd list all of them because any one would be very useful to me, but I think time stop would be most useful. Invisibility is kind of pointless if you have time stop except for the fact that invis lasts longer.

With polymorph self, you can do just about anything resourceful...

 

Invisibility, Domination and most of all Reload

 

Reload rules though.
A balor, then. That would suit me well.

 

Imprisonment

 

I would like a spell that allows me to get a girl that is sexy, beautiful, intelligent etc. to fall in love with me so that we can form an eternal love which will move far past the test of time making us the best lovers ever to exist!

 

Haste. That way I could get everything done in half the time, and sleep 16 hours a day.

 

Sniper - You probably already have it. It's called personality, sincerity, and the ability to pay attention to a woman and the signals she sends. Sense of humor helps too!

Maybe the ladies could chime in here...Advice from the source is always welcome!

 

<Silroth steps forward to make his speech, but slips and falls on the slime left by his foreposter. S. serously hurt his but and is mad>

 

Sir B.: Very good point. Cant be clearer than that!

My spell... magic missile.. for those bastard on the road who drives like shit.

 

Don't be fooled by Glabrezu sales talk Shura!

Sure they all say, "Come to the Abyss and be like me!" while showing all their powers and their riches. Maybe they even point to a Balor and say "Don't you want to be like him?"

Then they say "Come to the Abyss and fight in the Blood War! Gain power while alive through senseless slaughter! You will be instantly promoted to Balor status!"

But they lie! Killing senselessly doesn't make you powerful in comparison to even a Dretch, any animal could kill senselessly so if you do so you will turn into a Mane! Which suits the Tanar'ri just fine because all they want is cannon fodder to use and torture!

It takes a lot to be promoted to Balor. Some misguided fools may even say, "Hey, if I eventually get to become a Balor my eternity of suffering will be worth it!"

This is foolish because their eternity of suffering DOESN'T guarantee this! It's just to blind you through greed and hate the suffering you will endure! In the end googleplexes of Manes and Dretched will have their life energies utterly destroyed without being even close to promotion!



Why suffer such when you can enjoy yourself in Arborea?

 

BTW, Word of Chaos will definitely be my spell, heh heh heh.

I'll certainly have fun casting it at lawyers and headmasters!

*#$^@&^*&@%*

(Headmaster is stunned and banished back to his home plane)

Bwahah!

If only I can tweak it so people with less than 2 HD don't die...hmmm.

 

It sounds better than the Paladin sales talk which consists entirely of: "Worship my god or be branded an evil heretic and burnt alive after many months of torture!!"
They point to a pious believer with no free will whatsoever and who jerks off screaming his god's name and say:" You WANT to be him! Cos it's the only right way!!"
They kill out of hand anyone who deviates from the norm, calling them perversions of nature. If this is more justified than slaughter in the Blood Wars, hand me that Vorpal Blade and give me my Fangs and Horns.
What really pisses me off is that they are the other side of the same coin as the Baatezu but yet the general masses love them.
The ability to kill sets aside one as superior. To murder a being and feel no remorse requires a powerful mind. Dretches and manes are mindless automatons controlled by the true Ta'naari who are powerful. The forces of 'Good' scream "Love thy neighbour!" while screwing up people who hold different views from them.
The followers say: Oh if I eventually achieve salvation, a lifetime of stupidity, blindness and a sore wrist and throat is worth it! But would they get salvation? maybe the god is just an evil tyrant who buggers souls for eternity or something.
Notice the similarities to a certain monotheistic religion in real life?
The followers are bad enough, what's horrible are the champions, the knights in shining armor. Who trample on the general populace but yet receive applause wherever they go.
Us 'evil' beings who are trying to liberate the world are spat upon and shunned even though we spend our lives fighting for the fools.
And as for Arborea, I'll get there eventually, with an army of fiends under my command to make pillow stuffing out of the celestials and give their mortal champions a taste of their own medicine by crucifying them.
In life, a katana and great magic. Beyond, a vorpal blade and greater magic. And the opportunity to wreak even more havoc on those who have made my life miserable in every possible way. Sign me up, Ta'naari!!

 

Thanks sir Bel!

 

No problem Sniper! It'll happen one day!

I still haven't met that one person that I'd like to spend all my time with (and I'm like twice your age...uggh! ), do the whole family thing,kids, dog, baseball games, ballet recitals, etc...But the quest continues!

I have had a lot of great relationships that haven't panned out for one reason or another - But I wouldn't trade them or change anything about them...Although painful sometimes, the failed ones help you figure out what you don't want...and I have never been one to settle.

I also saw some advice Satiana posted to you...She is 100% correct!

Well, so much for my words of wisdom for the day! Can we start a "Dear Belisarius" column? J/K! Have a great weekend all!