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Dyacea Story

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Teensabre, Aug 26, 2002.

  1. Teensabre Gems: 9/31
    Latest gem: Iol

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    Remove all ads!
    This is a story about a woman called Dyacea. Here is a little snippet of the story - please tell me what you think.

    Dyacea ran out of the Paladin’s Turfe as fast as she could. Down the sodden roads she ran almost blindly due to the thick, heavy rain. She could smell something funny, almost like an animal’s fur. Probably just her imagination, she thought. Upon reaching the Blacksmith’s, Dyacea rummaged into her ragged pocket to pick out what little money she had, but nothing! Her finger came upon a hole. Damn! Her money must have dropped out of that. She strolled back, retracing her path, squinting at the rain-drenched cobblestones for her money.
    Dyacea trudged for half an hour down the road when a gold glint of a coin caught her eye. She threw herself into a large puddle, and soaked the knees of her trousers retrieving her coin.
    A rasping, hissing noise behind her made her whip around. Behind her, an army of hobgoblins stood, with rain dripping from their armour. Many of them were salivating. In the midst of them stood a giant Drider. The Drider glided to face her front and the Hobgoblins closed in on her in a circle, growling and muttering.
    Don’t panic, Dyacea thought, but she could feel her heart leap up into her throat and the pit of her stomach fill with ten ton weights. She slowly stood up and at the same time heard the Drider hiss, “Kill her.”
    Quick as a flash, Dyacea reacted. She somersaulted in the air and landed directly in front of the Drider. The thing hissed and tried to stab her, but she sprang over it and ran down the road. Behind her she heard the hobgoblins rummage for their longbows. Damn! Dyacea turned around, and then she realised she’d made the worst and probably the last mistake of her life…
    SWISH! Twenty or more arrows came skyrocketing through the dark rainy night towards her. She had no time to react.
    WHUNK! One hit her above the eye and went through her head.
    WHUNK! One hit her in the chest.
    WHUNK! WHUNK! WHUNK! Two arrows hit her in the stomach and as she cried out in astonishment one went through the roof of her mouth.

    Hope you enjoyed that so far, please feel free to give opinions and plots for storyline.
     
    Teensabre, Aug 26, 2002
    #1

  2. Oaz Gems: 29/31
    Latest gem: Glittering Beljuril

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    Wow. . . pretty nice. One story in which the great hero doesn't slay an entire army unscathed. :rolleyes: ;)

    My only complaint is that I think placing spaces between paragraphs makes it easier on the eyes when read off a computer.
     
    Oaz, Aug 27, 2002
    #2
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