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Euro-English

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Undertaker, Dec 29, 2006.

  1. Undertaker Gems: 27/31
    Latest gem: Emerald

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    Remove all ads!
    [​IMG] The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
    will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
    which was the other possibility.


    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
    English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
    year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
    make the sivil servants jump with joy.


    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
    konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
    troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
    fotograf 20% shorter.


    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
    to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
    always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
    is disgrasful and it should go away.


    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
    with "z" and "w" with "v".


    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
    "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.


    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
    understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
    forst plas.
     
    Undertaker, Dec 29, 2006
    #1
  2. Ofelix

    Ofelix The world changes, we do not, what irony!

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    Errrr... Sprechen Sie Deutsch Herr Undertaker, Ich verstehe Sie nicht.
     
    Ofelix, Dec 29, 2006
    #2
  3. Master of Nuhn

    Master of Nuhn Wear it like a crown Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Read it very carefully. He will post this only once!
     
    Master of Nuhn, Dec 29, 2006
    #3

  4. Uytuun Gems: 25/31
    Latest gem: Moonbar

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    Lol, MoN! :D

    I like both. Ich liebe beide. :p
     
    Uytuun, Dec 29, 2006
    #4
  5. Montresor

    Montresor Mostly Harmless Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder

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    Just don't tell the EU, they are crazy enough to try this! :lol:

    [ December 29, 2006, 22:56: Message edited by: Montresor ]
     
    Montresor, Dec 29, 2006
    #5

  6. Dendri Gems: 20/31
    Latest gem: Garnet

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    :lol:

    Aww. Ze plän vor au'er täikowa iz mäid pablik.

    Bat donnt wörri, yu vill laik spiekin au'er länguej! :)

    :borg:
     
    Dendri, Dec 29, 2006
    #6

  7. Bahir the Red Gems: 18/31
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    LOL!
     
    Bahir the Red, Dec 30, 2006
    #7
  8. Ragusa

    Ragusa Eternal Halfling Paladin Veteran

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    E-mailed that joke a couple of years ago to an English journalist I met in France where I accompanied my brother balooning. She e-mailed back all excited about 10 minutes later, that her bro smelled a scoop, and wanted to know my source in Bruxelles :lol: :shake:

    Speaks volumes about my credibility IRL ;)
     
    Ragusa, Dec 31, 2006
    #8
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