Friday Funny!

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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a
drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all
around the place.
The monkey grabs some Olives off the bar and eats
them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the
billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's
amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what
your monkey just did?"

The guy says "No, what?"

The bartender screams "He just ate the cue ball off my
pool table-whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he
eats everything in sight, the little b*stard. Sorry. I'll pay
for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays
his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his
monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey
starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a
maraschino cherry on the bar.

He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up
his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a
maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it
out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He
still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to
sh*t out that cue ball, he measures everything first."

 

Oh my god that was hilarious.

Where did you get that one?

 

That one was an honest to god true no-lying lol.

 

Only one word to say. Or rather two.

HAHA

 

ROFLMAO!

 

Almost as funny as this : [snip]

Warning This movie is 18+ only and it;s the most shocking FLASH thing I ever saw, and you guys know me! Don't go there if you are eassilly offended!

[Offensive content removed - please go read the forum rules so you never post anything remotely as sick again.] -Tal

Edit: Allright here is a replacement for it: http://www.fat-pie.com/bfm.htm I think you like this one better

[ October 03, 2004, 20:15: Message edited by: SleepleSS ]

 

ROTFLMAO! I loved that monkey joke. Gonna hafta remember that and tell everyone I see.

 

Sleepless, that was both hilarious and sort of gory, but I'm just glad it wasn't goatse....

 

Ermmm Sleepless...

Is it just me that doesn't get those kind of things? It's not funny and I just don't see the bloody point. That David Firth guy has some serious issues and so does anyone who loves that kinda stuff imo!

 

@Morsmordre well it's funny in a very morbid kind of way. But believe me you're not the only one who don't think it's funny.

Myself I'm becoming a litle bit of a David Firth fan, iThe things he makes are just so bizar...

 

The joke was hilarious, but I didn't get the point in that animation, it was just.......stoopid.

 

Heard that before, but still it is quite funny.

 

Sorry Tal I knew it was on the edge but I thought I could do it as I put a warning with it. Next time when I think some thing needs a warning with it I shall just 'not post it...

I did place another link by my post enjoy!

[ October 03, 2004, 20:20: Message edited by: SleepleSS ]

 

that monkey joke made me laugh for ages. its brilliant and hilarious

 

Well, as to the original post -

ROTFLMAO!!!!

And if SleepleSS's (deleted) post is in keeping with his others, then nothing lost.

Edit: 5 minutes later, and I'm still chuckling over Morsmordre's joke.

 

Didn't quite get the humor in your second animation either SleepleSS.....

 

SleepleSS, dude, seek help. Professional help.

 

BLINDING!! Gonna forward this round to eveyone @ work, will probably get somone offended and then fired, but it'll be worth it

 

Loerand Maybe this is more your type of humor: http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/

It's nice IMHO

Jaguar I see those cartoons as help

 

Haha, sick, but funny