Funny Spam Mail

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This thread is dedicated to the weirdest and most dubious spam-mails you ever got.

As with all the belessings of modern times also e-mail gets its share of abuse. So for a while I found weird e-mails in my account. Now there is a favourite kind of mail - the one offering shady business and having the smell of fraud. One example:

And he didn't even had to wait long:

Dear Mustapha,

what a coincidence. I am officer of the Moronian army. I can well understand your banana republic issues. Actually I have a much similar problem like yours and I would need your help:
On patrol in our deep jungles I found a treasure map showing the EXACT location of the sunken treasure of Rackham the Red, a once renowned pirate, sunken in the three-sharks laguna. To keep this secret I had to kill everyone who knew about this treasure - but to you as as a fellow officer and gentleman I can tell - highly confidental of course.
Now is there a problem with the treasure: It is located in guerrilla territory. So if you could add the US$ 25,000 000.00 I would be able to hire some goons to beat up the guerrillas, doublecross them all and get away with the money mwahahahaha ......

My hope is that they stop bugging me one day when getting such replies, but it is more likely they just sell my adress further At least I have the fun to strike back

Any other dubious, shady or plain weird e-mails (not just the dialy standard crap)?

[This message has been edited by Ragusa (edited July 16, 2002).]

 

LOL. What idiots.

I got something like to also, but i deleted it. It was some NEPA guy needing my help. I say, again, idiots. Normal people do not e-mail 12-year olds asking for help.

 

LOL

Ragusa, if you still have the original mail, can you please send it to me. I want to read it all.

 

Heh, I got some spam very similar to it. When I replied with interest, he asked for my name and bank account number to deposit the money into to keep it safe. I told him to send me a check for the $25M and I would cash it and keep it safe.

Needless to say, the attempt to scam the scammer didn't work. But, it is funny when you strike back like that.

 

I remember getting an email a while ago, it was chainmail, but it was 40 reasons why people shouldn't be sending chainmail and how b.s. it is. I laughed my ass off and deleted it.

 

I get mail with people saying that they're from hotmail send you chain mail telling you that if you don't forward the message on then they'll delete your acount. And I know a couple of people that actually believed them.

 

Here's one stupid message:

Klez.E is the most common world-wide spreading worm.It's very dangerous by corrupting your files.
Because of its very smart stealth and anti-anti-virus technic,most common AV software can't detect or clean it.
We developed this free immunity tool to defeat the malicious virus.
You only need to run this tool once,and then Klez will never come into your PC.
NOTE: Because this tool acts as a fake Klez to fool the real worm,some AV monitor maybe cry when you run it.
If so,Ignore the warning,and select 'continue'.
If you have any question,please mail to me.

 

My dad gets various Banana Republic scammmail quite often -- every time he does, he sends it to me. One purported to be from the wife of Mobutu Sese Seko (not sure of the spelling there).

My mom, whose prehistoric computer I use to connect here, gets unbelievable amounts of porno spam. The computer is so old and stupid that I have to clean out her inbox every other day or I can't connect. So all this porno spam, like 20+ a day.

I'm thinking, hmm. I have visited porno sites on my own computer, and I never get porno spam. What did she *do*?

She says, nothing -- she has never visited any porno site ever. She doesn't know how MEN ENLARGE YOUR PENIS 3-4" GUARANTEED or Hot Teenage Sluts Begging for It got her address.

But then, I reflected, is she really going to tell *me* if she did?

 

Is your mom on AOL? I found them to be the worst porno spam forwarders out there. Needless to say, I dropped AOL like a hot potato, then kicked it a few times to make sure it was dead...

 

Has anyone one here actually tried to make a chain E-mail or one of these Spam things?

 

I got a spam from my ex-boyfriend reading SEXXXXY!

I sent him one back saying "Dear, don't send me porno spams, text me instead!"

 

And another one

Dear Friend,
>
> As much as this hurts to do, I have to ask for help.Let me explain ! Im
the poorest excuse for a human being ever.Im unemployed, uneducated, and
uninsurable.In addition you wont look at me for very long Im unattractive
actully down right ugly.I try every day to get a job but at 48 with no
skills and no personality all the doors shut.For 35 years I tried to drink
myself away, and almost succeded,but even at like the rest of my wortless
self I failed. now the Doctors say I have to start cheomtherapy for the
liver but I have no insurance.Im not a bad person I dont drink anymore or do
bad things. I have thought of things like chain letters and such but I know
its wrong and I wont do bad things, but I need help could you please send
some money!! anything !! It would help I dont know what else to do but
ask.I cant promise anything in return I dont have anything nor does it look
like i will . At least its honest im not promising anything or lying !!
Please reach into your heart you will really be helping just
>
> Thank You For Listnening
>
> Chuck Mangold
> P.O box 300671
> Chicago IL, 60630-0671

 

Some hired assassin could just go and kill him for giving his addy over the net.

 

SG, I highly doubt that's his real address, and since it only gives a PO box, there's no real way of knowing what his street adress is.

 

On the opening day of FotR I got a spam for a penis enhancer asking 'How would you like to be the Lord of the Ding!!!' I thought that should warrant a hit to his website.

 

Ragusa! It was padine the paladin who sent that second one, no spaces after full stops!

 

I still think the funniest thing I have seen was a Spam Mail sent to my daughter asking her if she wanted a larger P***s. We both had a good laugh about that one.

 

I once got an ad to buy a pulsating vagina

 

I've given serious consideration to the one that will "enlarge your breasts; all natural; herbal remedy".

And there's a current one "Adultclub" or something; those people have sent me at least 3 a day for the past week.

I went about 5 days without checking my account, and *wham*. 260+ messages.

I hate having to sort through them to see if anything is actually legitimate. I'm thinking about blocking all mail for a while...