1. SPS Accounts:
    Do you find yourself coming back time after time? Do you appreciate the ongoing hard work to keep this community focused and successful in its mission? Please consider supporting us by upgrading to an SPS Account. Besides the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from supporting a good cause, you'll also get a significant number of ever-expanding perks and benefits on the site and the forums. Click here to find out more.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
You are currently viewing Boards o' Magick as a guest, but you can register an account here. Registration is fast, easy and free. Once registered you will have access to search the forums, create and respond to threads, PM other members, upload screenshots and access many other features unavailable to guests.

BoM cultivates a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. We have been aiming for quality over quantity with our forums from their inception, and believe that this distinction is truly tangible and valued by our members. We'd love to have you join us today!

(If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. If you've forgotten your username or password, click here.)

Funny TV quotes

Discussion in 'Sensorium' started by Felinoid, Mar 5, 2006.

Page 1 of 2
  1. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,470
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Remove all ads!
    [​IMG] This isn't a guessing game, or anything like that. I just thought it might be nice to accumulate a lot of good funny quotes from various TV shows. I'll get it started with something I just heard on an old episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine; this one never ceases to amuse me for some reason. :shake:
    :shake:

    EDIT: Another one from the same episode.
    :hahaerr:

    [ March 05, 2006, 07:11: Message edited by: Felinoid ]
     
    Felinoid, Mar 5, 2006
    #1
  2. Jhonka

    Jhonka This is the face of Justice Veteran

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2004
    Messages:
    509
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
     
    Jhonka, Mar 5, 2006
    #2
  3. Susipaisti

    Susipaisti Maybe if I just sleep... Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2005
    Messages:
    1,800
    Likes Received:
    19
    From Seinfeld, when Kramer does a Joe Friday impression of a kind, to retrieve a stolen statue...he forces the culprit to stay put while he rummages the place:

     
    Susipaisti, Mar 6, 2006
    #3
  4. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2004
    Messages:
    9,776
    Media:
    15
    Likes Received:
    440
    Gender:
    Male
    From Frazier,

    Niles (covered head to toe with shaving creme): I feel all hot and foamy.
     
    T2Bruno, Mar 6, 2006
    #4

  5. nior Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,778
    Likes Received:
    11
    From Perfect Strangers (...yeah, ages ago)

    Man at Driving School: Read aloud the smallest line you can see.
    Balky: "Made in Taiwan" and some guy named "Reg Pat"
     
    nior, Mar 7, 2006
    #5
  6. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,470
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Just saw this on an old episode of "7 Rules". The dad (played by an actor who's dead now; John Reiner, IIRC) and his daughter are talking about her going steady with this guy who's in the Navy, and an old-fashioned virgin saving himself for marriage, and oddly enough he argues that she shouldn't be held down yet. :nuts: He finally convinces her, then makes this slip:
    :shake:

    Yeah, you probably had to see the whole sequence, but I could barely remember that much. Now c'mon, y'all, show me up with a better quote! ;)
     
    Felinoid, Mar 11, 2006
    #6

  7. kuemper Gems: 31/31
    Latest gem: Rogue Stone

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2005
    Messages:
    8,926
    Likes Received:
    8
    John Ritter, Feli. :)

    Anything in Buffy and Angel. Here's a speech from Firefly: Our Mrs. Reynolds:

    Jayne: See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.
    Mal (dressed as a woman in homespun): How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
    Jayne: If I could make you prettier, I would.
    Mal: :eek: You are not the man I met a year ago.

    (Jayne and Mal draw guns)

    Mal: Now think real hard. You been bird-doggin' this township a while now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. You can luxuriate in a nice jail cell...but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty, floral bonnet I will end you.
     
    kuemper, Mar 11, 2006
    #7

  8. Vukodlak Gems: 22/31
    Latest gem: Sphene

     Veteran

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2002
    Messages:
    1,443
    Likes Received:
    6
    From Blackadder:

    Messenger: I bring news my Lord.
    King: What is it?
    Messenger: Lord Wessex is dead.
    King: Ah-- This news is not so good.
    Messenger: Pardon, My Lord?
    King: I like it not. Bring me some other news.
    Messenger: Pardon, My Lord?
    King: I LIKE NOT THIS NEWS! BRING ME SOME OTHER NEWS!!!
    Messenger: Yes, My Lord!

    (meesenger leaves and then walks straight back in)

    Messenger: I bring news my Lord.
    King: What is it?
    Messenger: Lord Wessex is NOT dead.
    King: Ah, good news! Let there be joy and celebration, let jubilation reign!
     
    Vukodlak, Mar 11, 2006
    #8
  9. Susipaisti

    Susipaisti Maybe if I just sleep... Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2005
    Messages:
    1,800
    Likes Received:
    19
    -Xander from Buffy
     
    Susipaisti, Mar 11, 2006
    #9
  10. The Kilted Crusader

    The Kilted Crusader The Famous Last words "Hey guys, watch THIS!" Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    1,870
    Likes Received:
    7
    Xander from Buffy

    "I laugh in the face of danger... then I hide until it goes away."
     
    The Kilted Crusader, Mar 11, 2006
    #10

  11. Lost Meme Gems: 8/31
    Latest gem: Skydrop

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    278
    Likes Received:
    1
    Worf from Star Trek: the Next Generation (the one where Q puts them in a Robin Hood scenario)

    "Sir I protest! I am NOT a merry man!"

    From Blackadder

    "Baldrick, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish minions, would be a picnic compared to five minutes with me, and this pencil"
     
    Lost Meme, Mar 11, 2006
    #11
  12. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,470
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    More DS9. This one's from one of my favorite episodes, called "Explorers".
    :shake:

    And of course drunk people are funny too...
    :hahaerr: Eh, I guess that's not nearly as funny in print as it was to watch. But it was funny when I thought of it! :roll:
     
    Felinoid, Mar 12, 2006
    #12
  13. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,470
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    From Reno 911:

    One guy says to the other, "Get your ass out of my face!" and the other guy, without missing a beat, comes back with, "Get your face out of my ass!" :lol:

    EDIT:
    The Simpsons have quite a few gems as well.
    :shake:

    :mommy:

    [ March 18, 2006, 01:39: Message edited by: Felinoid ]
     
    Felinoid, Mar 17, 2006
    #13
  14. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,470
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Just read something in one of the old RBs that reminded me of this one from Scrubs:

    :lol: Come on, now, people, let's hear some more before I have to give this thread up for dead!
     
    Felinoid, Mar 19, 2006
    #14

  15. Laiwethel Gems: 23/31
    Latest gem: Black Opal

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2004
    Messages:
    1,569
    Likes Received:
    0
    A couple of Firefly quotes...

    From the Pilot "Serenity":

    And from "Heart of Gold":

     
    Laiwethel, Mar 26, 2006
    #15
  16. The Kilted Crusader

    The Kilted Crusader The Famous Last words "Hey guys, watch THIS!" Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    1,870
    Likes Received:
    7
    Jayne! He's my hero ;)

    "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get to whip you with until you agree that I'm in command!"

    plus,

    *sees Inara yake another woman to her shuttle*

    "I'll be in my bunk."
     
    The Kilted Crusader, Mar 27, 2006
    #16
  17. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,470
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    From one of the best DS9 episodes ever, "Far Beyond the Stars":
     
    Felinoid, Mar 27, 2006
    #17

  18. Laiwethel Gems: 23/31
    Latest gem: Black Opal

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2004
    Messages:
    1,569
    Likes Received:
    0
    Jayne is awesome. :thumb: :grin:

     
    Laiwethel, Mar 28, 2006
    #18

  19. kuemper Gems: 31/31
    Latest gem: Rogue Stone

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2005
    Messages:
    8,926
    Likes Received:
    8
    Jayne snooping through Simon's diary:

    "Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill people and never seen again. It was the best day ever."

    :lol: :hahaerr:
     
    kuemper, Mar 28, 2006
    #19
  20. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,470
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    More DS9. This one is from Chimera, the episode where another changeling called Laaz shows up.
    Ask a stupid question... :shake:
     
    Felinoid, Apr 3, 2006
    #20
Page 1 of 2
Sorcerer's Place is a project run entirely by fans and for fans. Maintaining Sorcerer's Place and a stable environment for all our hosted sites requires a substantial amount of our time and funds on a regular basis, so please consider supporting us to keep the site up & running smoothly. Thank you!

Sorcerers.net is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to products on amazon.com, amazon.ca and amazon.co.uk. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.