Have you/have you been cheated?

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I mean by loveaffairs/friends/brothers/sisters etc.. something which changed you as a person, hurt you or so on?

I've never cheated, but I got cheated by my love with my best friend sometime ago, the wounds bleed even yet sometimes, but still for some reason I forgave her.

Anybody had any related?
or am I getting too private?

 

If it's too private for someone, he simply won't answer

I don't betray, I don't lie, I honour my commitments. I have symptoms of compulsive honesty, but so far as misleading goes, I use the rule of lesser evil if need be, such as keeping quiet when a friend lies to save his own butt, so long as no one is harmed. However, I normally strive to give the best and fullest answer possible and need a good reason for even flat out refusing to answer. Straightforward approach is not always the best one. Sometimes even morally, not only from the perspective of convinience. That's where the rule of lesser evil applies (lesser evil is not the same as greater good, which is no excuse for little evils).

However, if school kind of cheating is concerned, I'm not really restrictive. Assignments, tasks, homeworks and tests can be reasonable, sensible and fair or... not. So can be punishment for not having them done. There's also the rule of lesser evil. The most important thing here is common sense and consciousness.

Ah, and I have been cheated quite many a time. The more times, the more compulsive-honest I become myself

 

Yeah, I've been cheated on, by a lying, self-serving, scheming, using, hateful whore of a *****.

But that was a long time ago, and I've moved on!

 

Oh.

I thought this was a "I railed him three times in a row, and he's still alive?!!?! He's playing in Godmode!" kind of thing.

Yeah, more or less. Contrary to Falstaff's aftermath approach:

(figuretively, of course)

 

I stay out of relationships, so therefore I can not be cheating. Simple actually.

 

I've been cheated, cheating and the cheatee. Being the cheatee is definitly the most fun, and the least painful.

 

Dunno really, if it happened, they got it covered up pretty good i guess. I'm not faithful myself either, so if it happened, i got what was coming to me.

 

@EJSmith: Guns n Roses fan, eh?

 

I hate cheaters.

Never cheated, never been cheated.

I've been the cheatee a few times (if I understand what a 'cheatee' is). I surely didn't like it. One time, this girl told me not to worry since her boyfriend was in spain. I said I would also be responsible and SHE got angry with me. So I told her exactly what I thought of her...

I'm curious. What would Faragon tell us about being the cheatee? Probably something with lights switching on and off and being accused for being an immoral, selfish womenizer. Hope he can fix his computer soon (he can visit every possible site on the net except for SP...)

 

I'm not a morally limited person. I don't have realitionship, so I can not be cheating. I posted this above, but I felt like repeating myself. Anyway, cheating can take many faces. I have been the cheatee? some times, and I don't really mind. Just as long as the guy being cheated is not one of my friends though. Morally wrong? Might be, but as said, cheating has many reasons and faces.

 

Been cheated on many a time by two ex-girlfriends so I cheated on them out of revenge (Though I guess it depends if you consider kissing cheating)
And I've also been the cheatee a couple of times - definitely more fun than cheating or being cheated on.

 

Aldazar, Not a good idea to have your whole address listed with some angry men looking for you My first girlfriend cheated on me like it was a normal thing to do, many years of heartache there I booted my second girlfriend the day I found out she cheated

 

My story is a long one, and I don't feel like writing it all out right now, basically because I've moved on.

I've helped people cheat. Unwillingly and willingly. The strange thing is, when I was drunk off my feet, I had enough of my willpower still together to stay away from a girl that wanted me once I knew she had a BF. I wasn't able to do so when I was in love. Lesson learned from that? (one among many) Never ever fall in love with somebody elses' lover. Even if they love you back. Especially not if they love you back.

I've never cheated. I find that the greatest betrayal possibly imaginable. If your love for another doesn't weigh up to having sex with someone else, then your love means nothing.

In a way, I was cheated upon, by the girl I mentioned last. When she and I were still together she not only slept with her other BF, but also with a colleague of mine, and probably my boss too. Although she claims she didn't do him until three days after we broke up.

So really, cheating is bad. Helping someone cheat is bad. And tolerating someone cheating on me, is something I will never ever tolerate again. I've learned how painfull that can be, the hard way.

I hope this all still makes sense.

 

Long before I met Velcro, I had two brief and meaningless (but fun!) flings with married men.

 

Well, I´ve had about 100s of "relationships" but only one that I cared about. And also only one that I was faithful in.

To bad She fell out of love and broke up.
We were together for 2 years, not very long, but I was 17 when she broke up with me. And even now, almost 5 years later I still think about her every day and I still love her as much. I guess this is what I get for hurting women.

Haven´t been in a serious relationship since her. Haven´t done anything to hurt a girls feeling since that either...

I dont know if I´ve been cheated on, but as long as she didn´t do it I couldn´t care less. You cant be angry about something if you do the same thing yourself.

Being the "Cheatee" is something I can enjoy though. Because then you get the benefits of having a relationship without getting the setbacks.

 

My most recent relationship I cheatd on the girl. I was out of the country to visit a friend of mine. I ended up staying at her house and staying there far longer than I expected. I came back and my girlfriend asked me: "How was it?". "Great, I had heaps of fun." Her next question was odd and its obvious if she asked it she hadn't been cheating on me because she was pretty desparate "Did you miss having sex with me?" and I replied "I missed you".

Thing is that she took it the wrong way (or the right way, depends on how you look at it) and thought I just said something really nice to her like "I'm with you because I love you, not because you have sex with me". Frankly I didn't care how she took it, however I was happy she took it that way.

Now to justify my actions. We'd been arguing recently but made up just before I left, however it was about how she was too scared to reveal to me how she felt unless she got hurt or too attached, something like that. So when I finally was with my friend we were very open and it was what I had been missing, she was single and had been missing something else. Surprisingly the relationship continued for ages but the same problem that we were arguing about before I left is what ended it. She didn't want to get too close and eventually lose me, so I said "Well you won't worry if I leave then will you? Apparently we're not 'close'." and left.

 

Hmm, Interesting
I read all your replies and I thought If I ever was a Cheatee.. and unfortaneltly, yes I was.
But the chick lied to me, telling me she was single. But it wasn't no sex, just kissing and hugging. And she eventually 2 days later went back to her ex-bf, never really dating me
But that was ages ago.
And wondering If i'd be the cheatee again, I'd definelty have pains for it, considering how the dude would feel..
I'm sort of too symphatetic person to cheat

Though sometimes I miss the single -lifestyle sex.. well, thís is what you get for love and two years of dating + living in the same house for 3 months

Still love her no matter how hard she broke my heart, somehow re-assembled it
Though, sometimes I get these "schizofrenic seizures" thinking she cheats on me all the time with someone, but it's just my imagination (I guess =)

 

If it would be a fling or just sex, or something equally carefree... then yes, you can and should withhold that. But love? Assuming it exists in the shape it's described and assuming you may really fall in love for someone's lover and someone else's lover ultimately may really fall in love for you. Then, it's probably better to end that already crippled relationship and not kill love. It's your responsibility, though, always. Life is complicated sometimes, but in most cases she doesn't love him if she's ready to leave him for you.

Leave. Not betray. Leave. Even a freaking last phone call for people who can't control themselves solves the matter. It's over, there's no betrayal. If you, however, want my honest opinion, here it comes: no spur of the moment kind of break-ups and spur of them moment kind of having fun following. Conscious decision made
after due consideration. And being sure of what you're doing. Above all, being willing to take responsibility and face consequences. Honesty and kindness towards the guy being left. And a period of waiting between relationships. A month, maybe. To avoid future reconsideration, second thoughts, second guesses. Yes, I can imagine myself starting a relationship that way. But then, I can afford some of the risk more easily. Maybe I won't tell love from lust, feeling from fling, maybe even love from friendship - sometimes. But I will tell lie from truth. I'll spot uncertainty. I'll notice exaggeration or beating around the bush. Perhaps I wouldn't take the risk otherwise.

 

I thought that too Chev. "If she loves me and wants to have sex with me, that relationship will end soon anyway" Boy was I wrong. Some people will just keep on going even though they constantly betray eachother and do nothing but fight. I mean hell, her other BF didn't dump her untill he learned that there had been 4 other guys she had sex with. And then I'm not talking 4 times sex, I'm talking multiple times with multiple persons.

That she loved me didn't mean she wanted to leave him. She still loved him as well. (however strange that seems, with all her betrayal. She just didn't have any common sense. She still doesn't.) That's why I will never engage in something like that again.

 

I do get your point and I agree totally. I thought I was expressing something similar in my post. Perhaps I didn't stress it sufficiently.

As I say, the relationship should end *first*. I'm not going to take anyone's word on that she'll end a relationship, nor am I ever going to have sexual kind of fun with someone's gf. I do realise bf isn't husband. I'm not obsessed with keeping a relationship going at any cost. I'm just not going be the fill for someone's missing piece in a relationship. Or be one of the many bfs. I once broke up with someone because of such reasons. She had a valid and important need for flirting with men and having fun with men, which was more important than talking to me for a while every now and then. OK, but go get someone cooler for that